another ... all women are prostitutes, one way or another. MILF was ALMOST felt to be sexist

[seabeyond]

Last edited Wed Jan 11, 2012, 01:04 PM - Edit history (1)

89. SO much for allowing someone to sell themselves if they want

what of the women (and men) who CHOOSE to prostitute themselves? obviously to the poster they have something inherently wrong with them.

Then theirs the FACT that (for the most part) ALL sex has a cost... Dinner, Movies or other date activities. <-- even then sex is not guaranteed. (without mentioning STD's

Why is it those that would prefer to pay cash, skip the small talk and "romance" get bashed so harshly?

At least where it is LEGAL the prostitutes must have regular exams against STD's. best of luck out in the rest of the world without universal health care or absolute honesty between parners.


At Mon Jan 9, 2012, 11:58 AM you sent an alert on the following post:

SO much for allowing someone to sell themselves if they want

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

YOUR COMMENTS:

All women are prostitutes. Misogynist. Against du rules.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Mon Jan 9, 2012, 12:20 PM, and voted 2-4 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT and said: I agree with the Alerter - very misogynistic. We really don't need these kinds of posts here.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Poster did not write "All women are prostitutes." Poster wrote "all sex has a cost"... very different. The poster did not show a gender bias in the post.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT and said: What a hateful post. The recent rash of misogyny on DU3 is disgusting!
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given

Thank you.

[redqueen]

1. Abhorrent.

I wish it was surprising. Those 'all women are whores' comments were allowed to stand under the old moderator system as well, so... yeah.

[seabeyond]

2. not when i alerted on them

again and again and again, lol.

[redqueen]

4. This is doing my head in.

[iverglas]

9. yeah

We have to stop feigning surprise.

Or outrage, or disappointment, or any other reaction. Because really, we do just expect it.

[seabeyond]

11. "feigning" is correct. it is expected. nt

[The empressof all]

12. Honestly...I don't recall ever seeing alerts like that

I for one would have raised holy hell on anyone making that kind of comment in any sort of serious context. I may have not been around.

The mod forum was a diverse bag sometimes with enforcing misogyny. It wasn't from malice I believe just a result of feeling overly saturated sometimes and an overly inflated sense of tolerance of what should be allowed. I think of it as the John Steward school of thought. If John says it it must be ok. Hate speech towards women is so prevalent in our culture....We are so overloaded that we just don't see it right there in all it's glory hiding in plain sight.

[redqueen]

13. Yes, it's so ... everywhere.

I don't think it's malicious at all. It's just part of our culture.

One of my concerns is that in repeatedly calling it out, and alerting on it... that I won't be judged as 'making DU suck' because 'DU is supposed to be fun'.

We can't change it if we don't call it out.

[The empressof all]

14. I know....

It enrages me to feel dismissed with the eye rolls...

It's hard to keep up the battle with this when we are met with so much resistance isn't it. There's always some excuse...."Well it doesn't bother my wife when I say that" or "You hear it on Cable TV all the time...What's your problem"

We need to find a way to not feel personally attacked when they attack us for calling it out.

[iverglas]

15. I don't actually "feel personally attacked"

Nor do I feel "outraged" or any of the other emotions that people with no case to make ascribe to people who disagree with them.

I *know* that they are engaged in a personal attack. I just don't *feel* it.

It's all they've got, and they do it pretty badly on the whole anyhow. So it would be funny, if the world were just an internet board. On an internet board, it is often hilarious. They're just so "sad", in the brit sense of the word. Losers.

Knowing that these people exist in the real world is the worst part. But hey, they're mainly harmless, dateless men, from all the available evidence.

Of course, resentful dateless (or feminist-hating) men are the ones who go to classrooms and gymnasiums and gun down women who are total strangers to them ...

But no, no, nobody's enabling those behaviours with their denial.

[seabeyond]

16. sigh... i have a good life. people that love me. no porn. a hubby that respects me

it is mutual. a good sex life for a hell of a long time.

i have heard everything thrown at me. how much is it going to bother me for some nobody with probably a fucked up life telling me i am a prude, asexual, anti sex, frigid, sexual problems or any other damn thing they say to me over and over and over again.

it is so fuckin predictable and so fuckin stupid, lol. and they do it continually

now, they are allowed to call us whatever they want. they never get in trouble with those type name calling.

but, it doesnt do anything to me. why should it. i am living the life. they are clueless.

there has to be at least a bit of truth in the accusations hurled our way.

[mistertrickster]

34. Isn't this the same as what the paleo-feminists said?

That by cooperating with the patriarchy and subsuming its values, women lose their independence and essentially prostitute themselves to the system.

[laconicsax]

5. Did you TOS alert on that?

I did, so if you forgot, it's ok.

[seabeyond]

6. i did, lol. you taught me well. nt

[laconicsax]

7. You know, I wonder...

I wonder if the people making these comments (or the jurors letting then stand) have ever been in a long-term, stable relationship.

It's hard to imagine someone who views a date as paying for sex being able to stay in a relationship.

[seabeyond]

8. i have found there to be a common element

alone... and generally an X.

[iverglas]

10. I wondered the same thing

aloud

[JustAnotherGen]

17. That's very well said

The man who believes that - is single for a reason. In my experience, of being single in the NYC to Philly corridor - they are high earners but that's it. They have nothing of real value to offer.

What you put out to the universe comes back to you ten fold. The men that feel that way about women? They should. They hold themselves up as a "Money Object" then feel sorry for themselves when a person of the opposite sex views them that way.

[meat the beetles.]

18. Who was the poster?

[seabeyond]

19. did you register just to ask the question? who are you? nt

[meat the beetles.]

20. Ooo ooo, ooo ooo!

(I really wanna know!)

As for your question, I just couldn't follow it and NO, I didn't register to answer this pressing question but thanks for looking me up!

[seabeyond]

21. ok, then. nt

[iverglas]

22. google or the search function will find it

The post in question is quoted in the jury decision posted.

While call-outs are apparently not against the rules in this brave new DU world, some of us here still take a dim view of them.

[seabeyond]

23. i read your post on your locked thread. i would stand it? really?

ok, what?

[Rex]

32. Actually they are a 7 post troll.

Failsauce. Good reaction.

[seabeyond]

24. ANOTHER ALERT; MILF was almost thought to be a sexist term offensive to women

At Wed Jan 11, 2012, 09:46 AM you sent an alert on the following post:

Okay, we've all heard the term MILF

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

YOUR COMMENTS:

MILF is an offensive sexist term that insults all women.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Wed Jan 11, 2012, 09:53 AM, and voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT and said: I agree with alerter. MILF is a seriously offensive term and should not be permitted. This kind of juvenile humor really has not place here (except possibly in the lounge)
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: I don't think the term was used in a sexist way. Hopefully, the thread snks quickly though
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: Can we be less sexist nao plz? This is a sexist term that will open the floodgates to all the people who enjoy taunting women by showing off how acceptable and popular and great sexism is.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given

Thank you.

[iverglas]

25. are you compiling your batting average? ;)

There could be a training effect. Like I was saying to the co-vivant last night -- I'd never dare do an IQ test these days; I'd be 30 points dumber than I was at 12. A big reason was because of all the testing I did then; I learned how to do IQ tests.

If a juror sees an alert a week saying consistent things about misogynist language/attitudes on the boards, might it reach a tipping point some day?

3-3 with the 2 hide-its with reasons being articulate and "with it". One leave-it that hopes the thread will sink. Why do we need to be happy with hopes that things will sink? Is there some other way to use a sexist term than in a sexist way?? I'm thinking it wasn't being used ironically like ...

[seabeyond]

26. something, huh. nt

[CrispyQ]

27. Unbelievable:

Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: I don't think the term was used in a sexist way. Hopefully, the thread snks quickly though

The very term itself is sexist, so how could it possibly be used in a non-sexist way? And then to follow with, 'hope the thread sinks though.' Lame.

What saddens me most, though, is that I know some women who would love to be thought of as a MILF. And yes, they are overweight, by varying degrees, & over 40.

The older I get the more reclusive I become. Someday I will be the old woman who dies in her house & no one will know I'm dead, cuz no one ever saw me anyway. ~lol.

[seabeyond]

28. i have become more of an isolationist myself.

i always was a bit of a loner. it is easy to interact with other and socialize. but it doesnt take much for me to get my fill.

yes. women see this as a compliment. they dont get being reduced to a fuck is an insult, lol. i am going to have to figure it is a person with low self esteem. i dont get it. i dont get why a women readily allows herself to be demeaned. i get many women know it and understand it is part of what they want out of life. at least they understand what is happening. but those that are clueless to the insult leaves me pondering.

and it is ok. i am not suggesting all should think like i do. i understand we all come from different places, allowing perspective to be different.

it is just truly bewildering to me.

[redqueen]

30. It's because the message from society to women is sexy = powerful.

Our primitive drive is for status (e.g. expensive things, fancy titles, etc.)

When the message from society is absorbed (that being thought of as sexy is as status-raising as being thought of as rich, powerful, etc.) many women will ignore the insult and accept what is interpreted as a 'compliment' because it feeds that primitive desire for elevated status.

[redqueen]

29. " I know some women who would love to be thought of as a MILF"

Most people want to be thought of as being attractive, but this natural desire for approval is made into a neurosis through the conditioning we receive. Because of this conditioning many women dismiss such dehumanizing statements, preferring to focus on the 'compliment' (and many men do this too, as a result of their conditioning - as demonstrated whenever a female teacher molests a male student and many men openly state they'd have welcomed and appreciated statutory rape).

[Tumbulu]

31. what does MILF stand for?

thanks if anyone knows

[TriMera]

33. Here's the definition...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=milf

[Tumbulu]

36. pretty gross, really, thanks for answering (nt)

[Rex]

35. The term MILF and online porn go hand in hand.

I bet the term was invented on the Internet.