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[Maraya1969]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Maraya1969) on Fri May 24, 2013, 05:54 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[TreasonousBastard]

1. Looks like it...

First, don't take my word for it, since I'm no expert and haven't dealt with drugs for years. But, I've had junkies and alcoholics in the family so I know a little about how they can con you, and this just so fits the pattern. They're experts at using your compassion to get what they need. I'm not calling them bad people for that, but as the next fix becomes more desperate, they become single-minded and do anything they have to.

But you know that already. I'm not teaching or preaching, just reminding.

It appears snorting Oxy is a new wave of drug abuse since it gives an immediate high. It can be dangerous depending on the formulation of the pills and crushing them can be problematic even if taken orally, but we know that's not a top priority for abusers.

So, that he jumped on snorting the pills implies it's not the first time he's done that. It's even possible he shot up other times.

You like the guy, and that's not a bad thing since he must have some OK qualities, but please don't let that cloud your judgment. You already know being an enabler is not helping him. Too many times you don't raise him up before he drags you down.

[Maraya1969]

2. Thanks for your reply.

I wonder if the addicts here know how upset the people around them can get by their behavior?

I started going to Adult Children of Alcoholics about 3 months ago because after being by myself for 5 years and being relatively happy about it I got involved with an active alcoholic. It was complete insanity and I realized that old patterns that I thought I had evolved out of were actually still there. And I had some friends who knew what I went through with that guy suggest that I go out with this guy because he seemed to have his act together! Thank God I have been taking it real slow and I haven't really gotten that involved with him so I won't end up being real hurt again if this one does indeed have a problem. (and it looks more and more like he does).

[TreasonousBastard]

6. You're welcome, and I'll mention that...

after being on a fast track with some "interesting" women in the dim past, finding a "normal" one seemed so boring it hurt. I'll admit to the bad ones making me feel a little better but good ones made me feel like I didn't measure up in some way, but that wasn't a deciding factor. I was just incredibly stupid.

And, I think most addicts understand the pain they inflict at least a little but just can't fight the disease without help, and some others who don't, or won't, see. I've seen one or two, however, who just don't give a shit who they hurt. Just like the rest of life without the drugs or booze.

[libodem]

3. I checked my Alanon book for today's message

May 24th

The first step tells me I am powerless over alcohol, which admittedly is stronger than I am, since since there is no way for me to keep the drinker away from the bottle. It also suggests that the confusion arising from this helplessness has done things to my life that are not easy to endure. Then going onto step two, I discover that the Twelve Steps are a closely-linked chain that will give me a clear understaning of my situation.

It says: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. This means that although we can not help ourselves, there is help at hand. I am required to admit, also, that my own behavior was not sane. This is an investigation to humility, without which there can be no progress.

Today's reminder:
Surrender to a higher power, and the humility to make that surrender complete, is the first move we make toward relief from an intolerable condition. If I will do my part, I can rely on my Higher Power to open my eyes to solutions and restore me to peace and order.

[Maraya1969]

5. Thanks for this. I did not even think about the steps until you mentioned them.

[libodem]

8. It is a healthy place to start

To keep things in perspective. We are co dependants to the max. We can only work on ourselves and try not to be manipulatable.

I'm not very religious but I still find the messages very helpful, to keep the focus on my behavior. Which is one of the things we CAN change.

[Ilsa]

4. Hey there...

I just wanted to say that you shouldn't blame yourself if what you suspect has happened. You are a thoughtful loving person, and it's possible he may have manipulated you, but I don't know.

Please take good care of yourself.

[Maraya1969]

7. Thanks Ilsa!

Thanks for the hugs too!

[mountain grammy]

10. Ditto what Ilsa said.. don't blame yourself for trying to be helpful

But beware. I'm just learning what great con artists addicts are, but still get suckered plenty. Good luck. This guy needs a friend, but not a supplier.

[libodem]

9. This little 3 by 3 piece of paper card paper

Dropped out of some books and papers I recently brought into my home, since my brother died.


Desire without expectation
Speak without manipulation
Live without explanation
Ask without accusation
Examine without humiliation
Heal without complication
Work without procrastination
Forgive without stipulation
Succeed without reservation
Imagine without limitation
Love without hesitation

Unknown

[NMDemDist2]

11. i am so stealing those!!

thanks!