Need some advice.

[bif]

Every summer I go on a weekend camping trip with my wife's family. Been doing it for probably 40 years or so. I used to tell people that I hate camping and the only thing that made it tolerable was alcohol. Well, I quit drinking a couple years ago. My first camping trip sober was pretty lousy. I skipped the evening gatherings around the campfire since a fair amount of drinking went on. And dinners involved drinking as well. I spent a lot of time by myself at our campsite and couldn't wait for the weekend to end.

We skipped last year because of Covid but they've made plans to go again this July. I told my wife I'm thinking of skipping the outing. She's very understanding and told me whatever I need to do is okay with her. I know it might be awkward for her explaining why I'm not there. Question is, what would you do?

[magicarpet]

1. Do what ever you feel comfortable with.

You are fortunate,... it seems you have a very understanding wife to support whatever you decide without any conflict.

[Timewas]

2. Don't go

In recovery, which you will be involved in the rest of your life,your first and only obligation is to you and what you need... Your wife seems to understand and is on your side... If you are that uncomfortable the stay home it is the right thing to do.

[Rorey]

3. I would probably skip it

There's really no point in going if you're not going to enjoy yourself.

I say this as the parent of an alcoholic. We're just so relieved, happy and proud that she's been able to stop, that behavior at family events has changed. And we still have a great time.

My daughter stopped associating with all of her drinking friends. Being around them was just too difficult, and also a painful reminder of how she once was.

Be strong.

[TreasonousBastard]

4. I would skip it. Outings like this should have benefits besides just seeing family. Looks like you..

get nothing out of it but more stress. If your wife is OK with it, what more do you need?

I did, one year, escape the family Thanksgiving with a trip to Scotland. It was far more interesting than the family was.

[gibraltar72]

5. Don't put temptation in your path. Don't do something that makes you miserable.

[NotANeocon]

6. Sounds like a booze fest -

- and retired professional drinkers don't attend them or they won't stay retired.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

7. Even aside from the alcohol issue.

I'm inclined to say skip it, unless everyone attending has been vaccinated at least two weeks before. But the alcohol thing pushes it over the edge. Don't go this year, and reconsider it every year after.

I wonder if you could somehow organize a camping trip with family members who simply don't drink that much?

[bif]

8. Truth be told, they really don't drink that much.

They do drink, but I was the one who got the drunkest, by a long shot!

And for many years, we went to The Pinery, a Provincial Park in Ontario, Canada. At least there, there were some very interesting hikes you could do. I'm a painter and it was a great place to photograph for future paintings. But because of the pandemic, we can't go to Canada. So the new location is a pretty boring park in Michigan.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

13. Hmmm. Perhaps skipping this year makes sense,

and you could go next year? This is a very highly personal decision, I realize.

[Irish_Dem]

9. Make a decision that is best for your recovery and sanity! Make a healthy choice.

What is best for you and your recovery?

[Midnight Writer]

10. If it's cool with your wife, don't go. Why endanger your sobriety for an unenjoyable weekend?

By the way, your wife sounds like a treasure. Cherish her.

Maybe you could do something special for her to thank her for her support.

[bif]

11. She's the reason I'm sober

She and my daughters did an intervention. If it wan't for them, I'd still be drinking, for sure.

[Girl powers]

12. Don't go

Go do something fun with people in your AA group or with your non drinking friends.

BTW, your wife’s family should not be drinking if front of you, especially in front of a newly
recovering alcoholic.

Your recovery comes FIRST!

[bif]

14. I've been clean for 2 1/2 years.

And I've told everyone, I don't want them to quit drinking because of me. I'm okay with that. Also, I'm not in AA. I do SMART recovery meetings once a week.

[bif]

15. It's still several months away.

But as of now, I'm leaning towards not going.

[RevBrotherThomas]

16. Go with your gut, always

I don't go to a specific family Xmas party every year because it is a relatively small space with very heavy drinking; after several years of trying to "do my duty" as a family member, I decided the level of discomofrt I feel simply isn't worth it.

So now I skip it. Everyone knows why. And everyone is happier for it.

[bif]

17. I do the same.

My wife loves going to parties and meeting new people. I used to hate gong to those types of parties and the only thing that made them bearable was booze. Now that I don't drink, she either goes by herself, or I join here for about a half hour, then do an Irish goodbye. Or I ghost, to be politically correct.