I am going to take a break from my Al Anon home group.

[raccoon]

Well, actually I have two home groups, so, from one of them.

This is usually a large group; about 30 or more. However, in a group this size, very few people are willing to do service work. The person who is GR was GR during the previous years, because no one else would take the job. I was formerly treasurer/literature person for the group, and one of the (few) core members took it.

About a year ago, a woman who has mental issues (by her own admission) made this her home group. She frequently chairs the meeting. Sometimes others sign up or step up to chair, but all too often they are content to let her chair.

Which might not be such a big thing, except she doesn’t follow the procedure, which is clearly written out for whoever is chairing. She skips over items, doesn’t read the closing, etc. She bothers some other people too.

Not long ago, we had a group conscience. She didn’t show, of course. We added some verbiage to the suggested opening--she totally skipped it. It's like a restraining order, in the end the procedure is just a piece of paper if nobody makes sure it is adhered to.

I think that several people need to talk to this woman. I can’t get anyone in this with me, though. For some reason the GR seems reluctant to do so. Maybe because this woman has been known to do some vicious things, such as writing a real ugly letter to a member of another group.

Anyway, to me it’s like the same old stuff—people putting up with inappropriate behavior over and over and over. I have called this woman on stuff—when she left out something a week ago, then she went back and did it. And I have done my share of chairing, too.
I wonder too, if the majority are OK with her behavior, maybe I’m the one who needs to go.

So, for now at least, I am taking a break from that group.

[Electric Monk]

1. Do what you've got to do for your own sobriety. You can't control her.