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bif

(24,002 posts)
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 04:15 PM Sep 2023

Tonight promises to be one of those evenings I absolutely hate

Going over to a friend's house for dinner. They're also inviting a few people I barely know. It's going to start off with a cocktail hour (oh goody!). Then dinner where a boatload of wine will be consumed. Then fireworks (which I hate) afterwards. I may do an Irish goodbye and slip out around eight or so. Maybe I'll pretend to go inside to use the bathroom then keep on wanting home.

Wish me luck!

28 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Tonight promises to be one of those evenings I absolutely hate (Original Post) bif Sep 2023 OP
You can do it. From experience, I brought my own drinks and usually left early. SharonAnn Sep 2023 #1
You could show up a bit late (stuck in traffic or whatever other excuse you want) Ocelot II Sep 2023 #2
It's a must a person stays two hours. jimfields33 Sep 2023 #4
Really? According to whom? niyad Sep 2023 #15
I worked for the presidential inaugural committee jimfields33 Sep 2023 #17
And that relates to a private dinner party... .how, exactly? niyad Sep 2023 #19
This message was self-deleted by its author jimfields33 Sep 2023 #20
They live two blocks away! bif Sep 2023 #23
Do you have to go? zuul Sep 2023 #3
Same here Rebl2 Sep 2023 #18
Just tell them you don't want any alcohol, and ask if they have some BComplex Sep 2023 #5
Do they know? MuseRider Sep 2023 #6
You have our support Marthe48 Sep 2023 #7
I can relate. good luck and let us know how it unfolds(ed). Evolve Dammit Sep 2023 #8
wear a mask! don't get covid! or just stay home, go for a walk nt orleans Sep 2023 #9
Sounds like what I used to do when I had a social life Warpy Sep 2023 #10
Do it. We won't tell! calimary Sep 2023 #11
Tell them you just tested positive for Covid. Mr.Bill Sep 2023 #12
Tip for Office Christmas parties after hours. Leave your coat in your car twodogsbarking Sep 2023 #13
California sober? Onlyserious Sep 2023 #14
" I may do an Irish goodbye" Never heard of that one. How does it work? nt mitch96 Sep 2023 #16
I had to Google it. jxla Sep 2023 #21
Got it thanks. Did that at a dinner party and found out it was a bunch of Obama hating mitch96 Sep 2023 #24
It's also called "ghosting". bif Sep 2023 #25
Ghosting is a word I know but the "Irish farewell" was a new one for me..nt mitch96 Sep 2023 #26
It urned out just fine. bif Sep 2023 #22
K & R Stuart G Oct 2023 #27
Somewhat Off.....?? (but that is me....) Hope you do not hate this post......but......... Stuart G Oct 2023 #28

Ocelot II

(120,858 posts)
2. You could show up a bit late (stuck in traffic or whatever other excuse you want)
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 04:38 PM
Sep 2023

so as to avoid the cocktail hour, and arrive (apologetically) in time for dinner - I should think it would be easier to avoid the wine if there's plenty to eat. Then you could depart gracefully after dinner, but when it gets dark and the fireworks start, so it doesn't seem like you just came for the food.

Response to niyad (Reply #19)

BComplex

(9,078 posts)
5. Just tell them you don't want any alcohol, and ask if they have some
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 05:15 PM
Sep 2023

tea of something. It can work out, and besides, alcohol isn't for everyone. Does your friend know you're not drinking?

MuseRider

(34,369 posts)
6. Do they know?
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 05:37 PM
Sep 2023

If so this is really an awful thing to do until you are solid being able to deal with this. We avoided everything like that for a long long time until our family member felt perfectly fine. I started having a drink at night to test it out and they had no problem, if they did it would go down the drain. It has been around 15 years now since the start so hang in there, hopefully you can get to the point that you can do that, I know that a lot of people cannot. ((hugs)) It is so hard, I know from the outside how hard it is and frankly, if it were me I am not sure I could do it.

If it gets to you make excuses and leave.

Marthe48

(19,023 posts)
7. You have our support
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 05:52 PM
Sep 2023

You have to do what's best for yourself. If you had an ulcer, you wouldn't drink anything but water. Or if you had high cholesterol, you'd leave the burger and eat the sides. If you get questioned about getting there late or leaving early, maybe you have a friend or neighbor you're pet sitting for.

Whatever you do, seeing enjoy your friends and meeting new people. Maybe it'll be a crossroads to new places

Warpy

(113,130 posts)
10. Sounds like what I used to do when I had a social life
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 06:20 PM
Sep 2023

and it does work. As soon a conviviality turned obnoxious, I was gone.

More people than you realize can't drink. There's recovery, of course, because you don't want to end up institutionalized or dead. There's also an overabundance of caution in pregnancy. Then there are bad reactions with medications. Then there's the flushing reaction that gives people a red face and immediate splitting headache.

I wish I could say parties centered around alcohol got easier, but they never did for me. My line was when the first couple started to scream at each other. "Oops, I've got an early day, wonderful dinner, see ya." and don't be shocked if someone else asks for a lift.





Mr.Bill

(24,790 posts)
12. Tell them you just tested positive for Covid.
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 06:32 PM
Sep 2023

Being able to do this is the only good thing about a pandemic.

twodogsbarking

(12,228 posts)
13. Tip for Office Christmas parties after hours. Leave your coat in your car
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 06:49 PM
Sep 2023

they you can sneak out without anyone noticing. Worth getting slightly cold.

jxla

(224 posts)
21. I had to Google it.
Sun Sep 3, 2023, 07:44 PM
Sep 2023
https://www.connollycove.com/what-is-an-irish-goodbye-irish-exit/

An Irish Goodbye is a term coined for someone who leaves a gathering subtly and unobtrusively. They endeavour to escape without notice and avoid those light-hearted confrontations of, “Are you going already?” or “Aw just stay for one more”.

mitch96

(14,658 posts)
24. Got it thanks. Did that at a dinner party and found out it was a bunch of Obama hating
Mon Sep 4, 2023, 09:54 AM
Sep 2023

Last edited Mon Sep 4, 2023, 03:48 PM - Edit history (1)

ex Foreign Service people... I did not know that it had a name. I just thought it was like the
Neil Simon lyric "slip out the back, jack. make a new plan Stan"...
m

bif

(24,002 posts)
22. It urned out just fine.
Mon Sep 4, 2023, 07:21 AM
Sep 2023

I had a decent time. I drank a fizzy water instead of a drink. And the party broke up at 9 before folks got hammered. And the food was pretty exceptional--the hostess is a decent cook. We had gazpacho and paella.

Thanks for all the suggestions.

Stuart G

(38,726 posts)
28. Somewhat Off.....?? (but that is me....) Hope you do not hate this post......but.........
Thu Oct 19, 2023, 11:32 PM
Oct 2023
..... NOT AS FINE AS YOU..!!!!!!!!............ :











.........................SORRY FOR THIS REDICULOUS POST........(mine not yours).................

But...Bif ..........You are the best, and Number 1.......

Stuart G.
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