Called an enabler

[XanaDUer2]

I met a woman on reddit, since my doctor told me get out more. I've listened to her rant about her personal issues hours on the phone. Weve been to the beach twice over months. I felt us doing anything was predicated on her health issues.

I thought I could open up a bit about my home life. I e my SO drinking. He asked us to buy wine while out. I asked her could we stop at a grocery store. She called me an enabler. So, I was sorry I said anything to her. She's a chain smoker.

Maybe I am an enabler, but if buying wine keeps me from fighting and getting yelled at, I'm buying the fucking wine for peace and quiet. Wish I never said anything. Shes annoyed with me anyway, so that short-lived "friendship" is over. I've posted on a local meetup site, still awaiting approval.

She also stressed me out about money and told me she'll be well off when her husband dies. That made me feel shitty.

Just my tale. Don't judge until you've walked in my shoes. Been depressed. Thanks

ETA my SO is an adult and will start screaming if I even broach the subject of his addictions.

[Walleye]

1. You need to do whatever it is you need to do. Don't listen to other people, they don't live your life

I think of the Tom Petty song. Nobody knows what it’s like to be me

[XanaDUer2]

2. When we met, this woman and I

I let her know I can't drive long distances due to a shitty old car. She said that was NO PROBLEM and she loves to drive. Now she's pissed I can't drive to her house. And she's sick of planning. But I figured she's the sick one. Isn't it up to her if she can do something?

I would every few days, text and say, how's your sick mother? How you doing? Etc. She never texted me once to ask how I'm doing.

[Walleye]

3. If possible I try to stay away from toxic people. Although I should get out more

[XanaDUer2]

4. Its sad

I thought every thing was fine.

[MotownPgh]

5. Can you attend al anon or narc anon

meetings? These people will understand what you are dealing with much more than a new acquaintance.

[XanaDUer2]

6. Good idea

Probably. Am sorry I said anything. I had to hear her rant about her problems

[Walleye]

7. I have a hard time with those kind of relationships, I think I'm sort of autistic spectrum or aspergers or something

The only real friends I have I’ve known for 50 years.Keep believing things will get better. It’s all we can do.

[XanaDUer2]

8. I couldn't say something she was driving

It was embarrassing picking up wine, but i didn't want a fight when I got home.

So I'm an enabler.

[Walleye]

9. Not true