Anyone ever been in a 12-step group that voted to exclude someone because they were disruptive?
I belong to a 12-step group where there is this one woman who is repeatedly rude,
insensitive, often shares about events in her private life that have nothing to do with
the group (such as her social life), doesn't follow the format of the group, etc. Last meeting
I went to, she said during the meeting, "Sue (the chairperson), this woman here,
(indicating the woman sitting next to her), is from So-and-so Island!"
Members have sometimes spoken to her individually about some of her behaviors, but
the group never has.
I'm not the only person bothered by this woman; I've heard numerous other complaints.
= new reply since forum marked as read
that's why she talks about her personal life in the group.
But she has a boundary problem and she's rude.
Don't think it is the same person--you are a long ways off from me.
after all, it's the "Big Daddy" of all 12 step groups.
it's sometimes hard to find solid long term recovery in NA, in AA it's all around
that might be what the comment was about 
So they go to both groups, or choose the one they feel more comfortable with. Most of them focus on the alcohol when they're in AA, but AA is pretty "inclusive," as it says in the literature. Anything that works for people is fine, IMHO. I've also been to Alanon and it sounds like you're in the right place. I met some wonderful people there, most of them long-timers. Let us know how it's going... 
But if it's four hours a day, it does sound fairly intensive. What I mean is whether she wants to be there and is willing to accept help. That does make a lot of difference, though the programs I'm familiar with are impossible to skate through. If she needs to detox, inpatient probably is better, but if she's ready to makes the changes she needs to make to get better, this is a good first step. And it also depends on the program, of course, and if she's willing to work it. Let us know how it's going for both of you. 
Her loss has probably been unbearable for her and the reason for her self medicating. Hopefully, the doctors can give her some better and safer options and she can find some sympathetic and supportive women in the program. That's a story that we hear a lot, continuing to hang out with using "friends" can bring us back out. She needs to change everything before she can begin a real recovery, people, places and things, starting with associating with those who are still active, since they aren't true friends at all. 
If there are any women's meetings that she can attend, that would probably be her most helpful option. It's because of the suggestions and support that I got in my women's meeting that I learned how to get and stay sober. There's a lot of help out there for both of you, AA and Alanon, that I never realized existed until I needed them. Hang in there and let us know how it goes...
and remember you can't make her stop and you didn't make her start
whatever happened in the past, it's her decisions TODAY that count, and they are HER decisions. you don't have any power over them.
love her, pray for her, keep going to your meetings but remember, you are powerless of her addictions
I just saw that it's an Al Anon meeting. It's my personal belief that addicts shouldn't tell Al Anon people how to act, and my policy is to refrain from doing so.
Sorry about that.
I've attended several groups with her, including Alanon. She's been to AA, too, but can't say she's an alcohol or addict because she isn't. She has no sobriety date because any experimenting she's done with anything was so many years ago that she doesn't remember. She seems to come to these groups just to socialize or be with other people and tends to go on and on about her past experiences, having nothing to do with the topic or addiction. She suggested that each of us be allowed to share for 20 minutes. *sigh*
I know she has problems, but her cringeworthy and repetitive epistles have caused a lot of resentments in pretty much any group she's attended. She also gets really angry and offended if/when anyone tries to cut her off. People decide not to attend anymore and her behavior caused at least one group to break up.
I tried to be friends with her, loved her dog, but I just couldn't take it, since she got worse and worse. She expected me to drive her places other than meetings and would call me and talk till my arm fell asleep. Just seeing her now causes me to feel panicky.
Thank you for letting me get that out, LOL. I didn't realize this bothered me so much. I think it's up to whoever is leading the meeting to firmly shut your woman down, but I know that this is easier said than done, since it's been up to me and subtlety just doesn't work. 
The one I know also has mental issues and went on medication, but it seemed to make her even more clueless and unaware of how other people were reacting to her. And she's rude, too, interrupts and insults other people. She tends to make scenes.
