Not good news

[Marthe48]

John had a couple of really good weeks, then over new year's weekend, started losing his appetite, sleeping a lot. He started throwing up Monday, so I took him to e.r. They did some tests, couldn't find a problem, gave him i.v. and we went home. He had blood in his urine this afternoon and I called the e-squad to take him back to e.r. He might have a UTI, a kidney stone, or something pressing against the uretha. They are admitting him. The e.r. dr. says the scans show new liver lesions, maybe lungs, maybe brain. 11-8-16 PET scan didn't show any of that. And he was in the hospital 12-16 for 4 days. The new feeding tube he got 12-1 failed and the dr. removed it. Said John could try eating on his own for a month. And he was doing great. The ct scan from the 16th didn't show anything like they are saying now. Does cancer come back that fast? And all over? Did the dr. on the 16th just want us to have a good holiday? After the scan Monday night, I called his oncologist and made sure they knew about the ct scan from Monday. Right after the squad took him, I got a call and missed it, that his oncologist wants to start full chemo up and wants to see John tomorrow. I haven't told John or our kids, would like to wait til I talk to the oncologist. John hasn't even finished his radiation. I am discouraged, especially that things sound so bad so fast. The surgeon told us last year that John had less than a year, so did the oncologist. The radiation doctor said 2 years from July, so that was the news we preferred. If anyone can say anything, I will check later to see. Thanks.

[Solly Mack]

1. I'm so sorry! Yes, it can come back fast and with a vengeance.

My radiation oncologist went over every conceivable possibility at the start of my treatment, and as treatment progressed, he reminded me. I was sometimes terrified, but informed.

I don't think your doctor withheld anything from you, but the scan could have missed a tiny new growth and that growth could have grown at a fast rate. My doc talked about that possibility with me.

Also, does he get weekly blood work done? Because abnormalities can show up there first.

Again, I am so sorry!

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. What a shock, for both of you.

Do you have help wit your schedules and day to day things that need doing?
Are you able to grab good sleep, if only a few hours nap?
I know that Mr. Dixie was wearing himself out just by worrying about me.

I did not know it could come back that fast, but I am just at the beginning of learning this road we are on.

[alfredo]

3. So sorry. Chemo sucks, but it does work well with radiation.

Is he a veteran?

[PennyK]

4. So sorry to hear this news

Liver, lungs, brain...that's all over. I'm hoping there will be more testing so that they can figure out what's happening. I know it's impossibly hard, but wait and hear what the oncologist says, and what's definite and what's conjecture.
Please let us know what happens tomorrow.

[sinkingfeeling]

5. The only thing I can say is "I'm really sorry". So sad

that this news comes at the holidays, but try to be positive.

[Marthe48]

6. about John

The oncologist confirmed that John's cancer came back and is in the liver, lungs, brain and probably bones. He offered 'savage chemo' or hospice care. I can't really take it in. He had a ct scan on 12/16 and there was no mention in the report of any new activity.

John's blood calcium is high and they are working on bringing that down and getting rid of a UTI problem. I thought last night that John's crashing over the weekend and going to e.r might be a godsend, that the return was caught earlier than it might have been, because there weren't any tests scheduled except bood work next week. The talk with his onc. knocked that idea out. They can do radiation on the brain mass, rather than surgery.

We didn't do anything different, and yet, it looks like we are near an end. 46 years together, a close-knit family, a whole pair of lives twined together.

Yes, Alfredo, he is a veteran.

Thanks for your replies. I came to this support because I was among Democratic friends. I probably won't post again. I'm sure there are things I will need to tend to, whether I want to or not.

[PennyK]

7. Marthe

I am so sorry.

[auntAgonist]

8. It's sure not the news you or John wanted to hear :(

Marthe;

I'm truly sorry that you all are going through this! What a terrible shock.

I can only offer my best wishes for John's comfort and well being. Please don't ignore your own needs. If you want ( and I know you do )

to be there for him, then you must look after yourself. It's so important.

You are important!

Please know that so many people care.

aA
kesha

[cate94]

9. I am sorry that you are going through this.

I can only offer hugs. I wish the news had been better.

[Marthe48]

10. Update

Our daughter told us over this last weekend, that John's calcium was 16.5 on Monday, and he should have been admitted that night, instead of Wed. So that didn't help.

His calcium is down in normal limits. He was discharged from the hospital yesterday into hospice care. We have been working on the details, and it seems like constant calls and visits. I won't complain, the coverage is extensive and won't end when John is feeling better.

There is also a tumor in his brain. He has an appt. Tuesday to see about radiation therapy. No chemo right now, no new feeding tube. I'll let you know what the dr. says Tuesday.

I truly appreciate your comments and support. I haven't been online much because it takes a lot to make sure I do everything I am supposed to for John, and I want to spend all my time with him. And he wants me to be nearby.