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Sparkly

(24,339 posts)
Sat Aug 3, 2024, 11:52 PM Aug 2024

Treading water, but still alive

Hi all!

I hope you're managing your journeys -- knowing each of ours is completely different.

A year ago, I'd completed chemotherapy (stage III-B endometrial cancer, of a highly aggressive sort - "very likely" to come back somewhere else, they can't say when). Then I had a late summer and early fall of daily pelvic radiation that was pretty devastating. I still feel the effects of that sometimes and need to go back on steroidal meds.

Meanwhile, I'd already had osteoporosis starting at a relatively young age (I had to ASK a doctor for the DEXA-scan, and sure enough!), and cancer/treatments have made it worse. My bones are like toothpicks, apparently. A few days ago, I broke my ankle. Now I'm in a boot for 8-12 weeks AND on crutches for now...

I was a dancer, choreographer, teacher, so this is very frustrating. Today we were clearing out some old spaces and came across a tote bag from not so long ago that included my dance slippers/soles, bobby pins and big hair claws for the abundant hair I used to have, little teaching props, etc. Even though I'm old, I could have kept going quite awhile longer, had it not been for cancer.

I try to see it from the other side....

I'm aware that every day is a blessing. I live 3 months at a time between CT-Scans. I have a few inches of hair I didn't have a year ago (I like to think it's sort of Ava Gardner?) but it's not the same hair I always had. I doubt I'll live long enough to have that again, but hey, it's not bad hair!?

My body's deterioration has meant a downfall in my career, but I hope to live long enough to prioritize that again, and create work. (I'm also a pianist, writer, composer.)

Best of all, I have lived long enough to see my daughter (for whom I sacrificed a lot, due to her disorder) have a healthy child!! I'd given up on the possibility to the point it feels like a miracle.

Here's hoping for miracles for all of us -- and all of your loved ones!!

34 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Treading water, but still alive (Original Post) Sparkly Aug 2024 OP
Oh GOODNESS, Sparkly! elleng Aug 2024 #1
Keep up hope. New treatments continue to evolve question everything Aug 2024 #2
I believe in miracles. LoisB Aug 2024 #3
What a moving post, sparkly. cilla4progress Aug 2024 #4
Miracles are blessings, beveeheart Aug 2024 #5
Dancers are strong Laurelin Aug 2024 #6
Sparkly your strength in life is gracefully inspiring. Bluethroughu Aug 2024 #7
Hurray for your progress and the joy of a grandchild! MLAA Aug 2024 #8
I asked about that! Sparkly Aug 2024 #24
I broke my foot the night before my husband was to have heart surgery. MLAA Aug 2024 #26
Wow!!! Sparkly Aug 2024 #28
Oh yes, that was about 4 years ago. Thanks for asking! MLAA Aug 2024 #33
Stay hopeful Lifeafter70 Aug 2024 #9
I'm so sorry. Sparkly Aug 2024 #25
Thank you Lifeafter70 Aug 2024 #32
good luck to you Hamlette Aug 2024 #10
Thank you for your post people Aug 2024 #11
Keep treading. Solly Mack Aug 2024 #12
❤️ littlemissmartypants Aug 2024 #13
🌈🪷💕 Hekate Aug 2024 #14
You are touching people you don't even know and will never meet BaronChocula Aug 2024 #15
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. HeartsCanHope Aug 2024 #16
. KS Toronado Aug 2024 #17
Thank you for your post. murielm99 Aug 2024 #18
Sending you hope sortasvenska7 Aug 2024 #19
That's amazing!! Sparkly Aug 2024 #27
You've been through so much and you've still got your face to the sun, looking to the future. You are amazing. chia Aug 2024 #20
I wish you nothing but babylonsister Aug 2024 #21
Very sorry to hear what you have gone through. spooky3 Aug 2024 #22
Thanks for all the kind words. Sparkly Aug 2024 #23
You're an inspiration, Sparkly. wordstroken Aug 2024 #29
What a wonderful inspiration!!! DarthDem Aug 2024 #30
💫 Sparkly💫 blm Aug 2024 #31
I'm sorry, Sparkly XanaDUer2 Aug 2024 #34

Laurelin

(631 posts)
6. Dancers are strong
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 12:20 AM
Aug 2024

It's obvious from your post that you are. Enjoy the blessing of your grandchild. I'm sending you prayers and positive thoughts.

Bluethroughu

(5,687 posts)
7. Sparkly your strength in life is gracefully inspiring.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 12:20 AM
Aug 2024

I hope you live as long as you'd like too, creating, teaching and dancing a bit after the boot is removed.

MLAA

(18,570 posts)
8. Hurray for your progress and the joy of a grandchild!
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 12:26 AM
Aug 2024

Just a quick thought, I’ve had a fracture in my foot and due to other ortho issues couldn’t use crutches very well so I got a knee scooter that made it very easy to get around and less precarious for me.
Sending hugs.

Sparkly

(24,339 posts)
24. I asked about that!
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 10:38 PM
Aug 2024

When I went from the "splint" (no weight on the foot -- exhausting) to the "boot" (partial weight, but still crutches), I wanted a knee scooter or wheelchair -- anything but the agony of crutches on one leg! The doctor said partial weight was better for the sake of building bone density, and prescribed vitamin D... It hurts like mad, but here's hoping!

MLAA

(18,570 posts)
26. I broke my foot the night before my husband was to have heart surgery.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 10:42 PM
Aug 2024

I broke it going into the hospital after running home to pick up some items before he was transferred to another local hospital for surgery. Then new hospital is the largest one story hospital in the country so I really needed that scooter. I could really fly on it over the smooth hospital floors. It was a life saver for me. Hang in there!

Lifeafter70

(357 posts)
9. Stay hopeful
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 12:34 AM
Aug 2024

I know it's hard to always stay positive when dealing with cancer. In 2016 my middle son was diagnosed with 1VB Adnoeid Cystic Carcinoma. That had encased his cartoid artery. He had two surgeries within weeks of each other. The second one was a resection of his artery. Than radiation. They couldn't get clear margins because they wanted to save his eyesight. In 2020 the tumor started growing again invading his skull base, they used gamma knife radiation. He is tired but still fighting hoping for a new treatment to come along. Like you he goes for scans every 3 months.


Sending you good vibes and big hug.

Sparkly

(24,339 posts)
25. I'm so sorry.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 10:41 PM
Aug 2024

I know it's so difficult. I hope you and your son have good support around you. The cancer support group here on DU is a good bunch of people.

Thank you, and I'm sending good vibes back at you! ~~~

Lifeafter70

(357 posts)
32. Thank you
Mon Aug 5, 2024, 12:05 AM
Aug 2024

We are greatfull the last radiation stopped the progression of his tumor and the ones in his lungs are stable.

Hamlette

(15,517 posts)
10. good luck to you
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 01:04 AM
Aug 2024

I had a friend who used to say "only the good die young, you and I are going to live a long, long time." It always made me laugh and for some odd reason I decided to believe her! Get all the mental health you might need and find a way to laugh with that new baby.

people

(691 posts)
11. Thank you for your post
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 01:04 AM
Aug 2024

Hope eventually you will be able to return to your music and dancing. And thank you for sharing your daughter"s good fortune to become a mother.

HeartsCanHope

(726 posts)
16. I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 02:31 AM
Aug 2024

I hope for a miracle for you, too. Take care, and you will be in my thoughts.

sortasvenska7

(19 posts)
19. Sending you hope
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 02:58 AM
Aug 2024

My mom was diagnosed with an aggressive form of endometrial cancer that was stage 3C in December 2014. 2 Weeks ago she turned 75 and the cancer that she was told would return has never come back and the initial dire prognosis has not occurred. I will never forget my family and I waiting in the post surgery room waiting for her surgeon to speak with us and him relaying to us that the ‘horse was out of the barn’ and she was going to have to fight if she wanted to beat it. Now I understand that every type and stage of cancer is different, but I just wanted to wish you hope!

Sparkly

(24,339 posts)
27. That's amazing!!
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 10:46 PM
Aug 2024

Thank you for that family story - it does give me some hope.. If I may ask, did your Mom serous endometrial carcinoma, and did she have a TP53 mutation?

I am so glad to hear she is doing well! Does she still have to go back for scans?

Thanks for your reply!

chia

(2,361 posts)
20. You've been through so much and you've still got your face to the sun, looking to the future. You are amazing.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 05:04 AM
Aug 2024

Wishing you all the best outcomes and possibilities going forward from here, and I hope you can enjoy your new hair, your beloved family, and your creative endeavors for a long time to come. Sending love.

babylonsister

(171,570 posts)
21. I wish you nothing but
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 09:45 AM
Aug 2024

miracles, Sparkly. FUCK cancer...I don't know too many families that haven't been touched by it, mine most definitely included.

Sparkly

(24,339 posts)
23. Thanks for all the kind words.
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 10:30 PM
Aug 2024

I only meant to whisper in the corner of the "Cancer Support" group, and didn't expect so much attention.

I'm sincerely grateful for your good wishes, understanding, and support. It's good to be among friends.

DarthDem

(5,358 posts)
30. What a wonderful inspiration!!!
Sun Aug 4, 2024, 11:02 PM
Aug 2024

You're marvelous. I think you're way above water myself. All of my very best to you!!!

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