Is it fatigue or laziness?

[hedgehog]

Everyone recommends exercise as a way of handling autoimmune fatigue. But some days, it's hard to move and I tend to feel guilty in this exercise/fitness conscious society . One thing I've noticed is that when I'm in trouble, I have difficulty doing normal tasks and really feel it when I do push myself. On the other hand, once a flare recedes, I find myself surprised at how strong I seem to be and how easy it is to do things. So I've reached to stage where I tell myself to slow down when I need to, and not feel guilty about it.

[RGinNJ]

1. In my life I've found that my body will allow me to live the best

it's capable of. Down or bad days happen. When they do, try to your best. On good days I strive to do even better, unfortunately my brain (I suffer from chronic cluster headaches) has its own time line. Living with chronic pain sucks, keeping an optimistic outlook helps. Sorry for your condition but life is, at least to me, is too interesting not to at least give it a good go. Wishing you only good days.
Peace

[mopinko]

2. you just gotta do what you gotta do.

i go through the same, mostly related to how i am sleeping. if i am feeling horrid, i will still do my yoga, mostly, but i try to forget what i was able to do the week before.
but it is probably the hardest part. if i dont have a deadline of some sort, i try not to push it. if i have to i do. but i pay the price, and any more, i expect the bill when it arrives.

[hedgehog]

3. Boy! Did I pay that bill the last 2 days!

I think a lot of the learning process is accepting that you do have limitations, despite the cultural imperative to push through the wall.

[mopinko]

4. yeah, it is hard.

and in all honestly, my fatigue really ruined my life. it made me an exhausted, crabby mom, and not the world's cheeriest wife, either.
maybe if i had known what was going on earlier, we all could have adjusted better.
but it's hard not to agree with those around you that you are lazy when you sleep half the day and your house is a mess, and you dont know why.

pushing through those walls just makes them fall on you. if i could have just taken better care of myself, and not ended up worse off ALL.THE.TIME maybe my family would still be intact. who knows.

so hard to be a good partner when you are sick.

[hedgehog]

5. I love the little hints from my sister as how to take care of the house better!

She means well, but arrrrgh!

It gets better - she hinted strongly that the daughter with fibro needs to put more effort into housekeeping!

[mopinko]

6. she needs a cleaning lady.

maybe your sister should chip in if she is so worried.

[FirstClassTicket]

7. I don't believe in a character flaw called "laziness."

I believe that in pretty much ALL cases where a person doesn't seem willing or able to get much done, there is an underlying and possibly undiagnosed physical or mental health problem. A person in good physical & mental condition naturally, instinctively wants to be active and productive. If they don't, there is something wrong, and it's not their fault.

I have lupus and suffer from fatigue more than any other symptom. I go through phases when it's easier to exercise than others, and when I do, it does make a positive difference in my condition, but sometimes it's just not possible. That's the nature of these diseases.

[hedgehog]

8. That is an excellent summation!

Welcome to DU!

[FirstClassTicket]

9. Thank you so much!

I've rarely expressed that idea to people because it's so different from the way most people think, and I appreciate the positive feedback.

What made me realize that there is no such thing as laziness was my own experience of wanting so badly to do things after I got sick, but just not being able to. My mind is very active and in that sense I have a lot of energy, but sometimes I struggle just to do the normal things we all have to do -- eat, bathe, dress, etc. I stopped making my bed every day in college for two reasons: (1.) often showering, doing hair & makeup, and dressing left me exhausted and I would just end up back in bed anyway, and (2.) I had to start prioritizing how I spent my energy. If I was too picky about housekeeping, I wouldn't be able to get out and do necessary shopping as well. And at some point, I realized that people around me were judging me as lazy instead of giving me credit for doing the best I could in the circumstances.

I feel really strongly about giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming that they have reasons for what they're doing, and if I don't understand why they are living in a certain way, it doesn't mean that their habits don't make sense -- it means I don't have enough information.

[hedgehog]

10. Again - that's just where i am right now - wanting to do things

but having problems just getting dressed.

I realized I was in trouble the day I was digging in the garden, and realized I'd been standing in place for 5 minutes, just absolutley unable to lifting the shovel one more time.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. I got called "lazy" and "slow".

And in the next sentence, "brilliant" and "genius" in school.

Autoimmune diseases run in my mom's family. Mom had a dead thyroid (hashi's) starting at about age ten. That was during the 1930s.

Same thing happened to me. Mine died at about age ten. And I started taking Armour.

Grandmother was a bossy witch who had an overactive thyroid and was convinced we were all "lazy" because we slept till noon on Saturday. She lived in the country and thought we were supposed to get up at 6 in the morning and start doing those farm chores on that nonexistent farm, and start cooking for those farmhands. There was no farm there. She had three meals a day fixed, and roped all the girls into the kitchen, when the kitchen was not big enough for two people to work but she had to be sure and oppress the girls so they would grow up to wait on helpless men, like she did. There would be too many women in the kitchen scurrying and my mother would shriek at me when I escaped to the den. The men would be watching football on TV after meals. I asked my mother once why the men NEVER helped clean up or load the dishwasher. The answer I got was "Oh they're too OLD".

BULLSHIT.


She ran the place like a prison as far as food--3 meals a day at certain times. And if you got up in the morning to eat or use the bathroom, that was BAD. You were supposed to stay up, for what reason I could never figure out. I always went back to bed to sleep because I needed the rest and so did my parents.

It was traumatic being around crabby old people on weekends all the time. We never took vacations. Those were frivolous and for rich people.

[shireen]

11. me too

Lupus too. Fatigue is a constant. When someone comments on how good I look, I just want to scream!

But You Don't Look Sick

[janlyn]

12. It's very hard to adjust to the fact

that I can't live my life at the same pace. There are days where just trying to get dressed hurts too much, so I stay in my pajamas all day.
I was very active hiking, camping, gardening and now I can't even bend down to pick up items that I drop. The fatigue is real, I refuse to let anyone outside my circles opinion matter to me. My loved ones know I am ill, and they are supportive. Still, I have days where I feel guilty about resting.Having others in the same boat as support is helpful.