What do you call it when you MELT DOWN from a MAGA tirade aimed at you?
I am trying to figure out what to call it when I completely melted down when my Grandson started doing the MAGA roll on me and I had to come inside, was out shoveling driveway with him due to this mega storm hitting Minnesota.
IT FELT LIKE PTSD, but I don't know why. I was chaotic emotionally, felt like I had to defend myself or leave. I had my BFF on the bluetooth headset and neither of us was sure HOW it all unraveled because she could only hear my side of the conversation.
I'd offered Grandson $20 to help me shovel the driveway in back of our house. He and I had a quick spat ALTHOUGH when I went to ask for his help, all was good. I caught him being "good" and productively shoveling the FRONT walk without being asked by me. Offered him cash money and then went to put on layers.
THEN I got on the PC to log off and there was water dripping down on my hands. I went back up stairs and the Grandson was on the game console directly above me with a puddle mark at his feet. He'd left his boots on and the snow melted through the floor and sub-floor which his father, my son, told me is not doing well. SO I pointed this out to him as an issue and asked him to put his boots in front porch in future and he tried to tell me it could have been leaky pipes.
I said, "NO, there aren't any pipes above the computer desk downstairs and I can see this puddle mark exactly above ..."
He interrupts me and blusters that there are pipes "EVERYWHERE" downstairs.
"Dude, I live down there and the ceiling is open. I can SEE the pipes." Guess I started raising my voice because I hate it when they try to gaslight me.
"QUIT YELLING AT ME. I'm not talking to you anymore" Grandson said.
I go super quiet, "You can come down and look. There are NO PIPES. Just PLEASE put your boots in front porch in the future. That's all I'm asking." No answer.
"FINE. You want to play the victim. I can make that happen." I head down with the option to just turn off the internet so he can't use that as a reason to ignore talking to me. My Hubby was even on board with it, but I decided to be calm and mature and just go out and shovel. I said this all loudly from downstairs so he knew he dodged a consequence.
On the phone with my BFF via bluetooth speaker I am telling her about how that went and how I'm on my own. Grandson shows up from the driveway side and starts helping, BUT he is on a RANT that it's awful how his Dad and I can't talk and that I should just LEAVE whenever things get bad and that I OFTEN START the political fights.
I DO NOT. I go upstairs with the EXPRESS intent of NON-Political conversation. AND with the hope of getting out of the room without being dragged into one because I am trying to build a relationship with my son that can withstand such a conversation.
I tell Grandson this and he insists that I DO START IT SOMETIMES.
"WHEN? Give me one example."
"Gas prices." He says.
"WHEN" I insist.
"I don't know. Then he goes on and on about Blue Laser Project and telling me what I need to do with his Dad."
I try to play by his rules and we make one or two agreements. He's going to put his boots on the linoleum in the front porch so we don't get leakage downstairs. I accept his apology that he didn't think he owed me.
BUT the fact that he's CLUELESS about what Jim Crow Laws are and thinks Biden voted FOR THEM blew up my brain and I just had to leave.
I've been feeling suicidal off and on because of the way my Son and Grandkids only remember that I am here when they want something from me and once they get what they want, decide it's their job to save me from myself and tell me the legitimate KNEWS from TicTOk.
It FEELS LIKE PTSD, but IS there a better name for it?
= new reply since forum marked as read
I was able to get myself "out of" the whole PTSD reaction and that was my goal.
Somehow, reaching out, being honest and getting feedback helped me access a TRUE answer that worked.
I've also used, "Other people's opinion of me is none of my business."
BUT even today I realized that the place I am most comfortable is where TRUTH is honored and people are encouraged to be who they are and believe what they want. (Kinda like DU. OK exactly like DU.)
AND where I'm MOST UNCOMFORTABLE is where LIES flourish and TRUTH is extinguished.
Walking in this world and dealing with ANY MAGA is difficult. I try to see the good in everyone, but when ANTI-Truth spews from their mouth and coats them in denial, it's hard to find the good underneath all that.
WITH MY SON, I've worked on that relationship (OUTSIDE of politics and not participating in it with him at all) so we are getting somewhat closer.
AND CELEBRATION 
MY SON has found a NEW PLACE TO LIVE!!!!
AND the transition is going well.
I'm even thinking about writing up some simple examples that will challenge him to fact check, down to the source.
IF I can get him to see that HE IS BEING LIED TO BY MAGA World, he will turn away.
HE believes that THEY ARE TELLING the Truth and that I am being lied to.
Down deep he has honor. It's just being used and misdirected.
worked for you.
And that he has another place so you will be able to get a break from it all.
Thank you so much for the update. Keep us posted on how it's going.
You bet!
Stay tuned.
Is your son living with you because you and hubby need his help?
Uh no.
Any help they "could be" doesn't happen on any regular basis.
Although my son DID rebuild my deck last summer and has painted the kitchen and living room.
He will repair the wear and tear his family has put on my house before he moves.
He's finally managed to repay his back child support which was so outrageous that it put them in financial binds every time he got a decent paying job.
He's got income taxes due that will help him getting into a new place so I will have my house back soon.
They are talking about moving to Texas, where everything is better for MAGAs all day long and rent is cheap.
Guess that's part of why I've been drinking more.
I hope the relationship can be positive enough that I can still converse with them occassionally but I suspect once they move, I won't hear from them again unless they get in trouble again.
That is the best news! Just in time to turn up the tv and enjoy the indictment without any backlash from the peanut gallery! Hurray and congrats and doing it without doing them any grave bodily harm (wink wink)
Meant to add: Husband born in small town in Minnesota and lived there many years. At 50 he escaped to a warmer, sunny clime and we met. Now married 35 years 🙂
The happiest part is that Sunday, Son put his foot down and said, "I'm pulling the Birthday Card. I want you guys to come see my house today." AND he is clear he wants US in his life. 
We did. Son made dinner, but I brought appetizers (carrots, crackers, cheese and nuts) because hubby and I usually eat by 6pm and both of us were getting a titch dizzy.
AND after everyone had their food in hand, I brought out the ice cream cake, sang Happy Birthday and left. I had also bought a second type of ice cream that was portable and we took that as out desert.
