I need some help, part Deux

[kozar]

I apologize for my cussing. I’m home from the hospital, where LilBit and I spent the night. Seems I have a dislocated shoulder, they reset it.
And before they sent me home, I made the phone call, I’ve been dreading. It’s time for me to put LilBit in state care. And let the professionals take care of her.
It’s all about her, I’m basically a 1 armed wallpaper hanger now, for the next few weeks. I honestly can’t even change her with one arm. Hospital wanted me to take her home with me. So I made the call,
every parent of a challenged child , has to make at so point.
So before I left hospital this morn, I made the calls. I am home, she is not here.
I’m still somewhat youngish, but not with her.

It’s a bit quiet here right but I gotta be ok with my decision. After all , her quality of life, needs to be part of my decision making process. And , obviously, I’m not getting younger.
I feel like I’m tossing her under the bus, but, my retired / manager mind says

You had no choice Koz.
Koz

[leftieNanner]

1. Oh my dear koz

You have done the right thing today. You can't take care of your daughter with a bum wing.

Allow yourself to rest and recover.

Sending you some DU love.

[Twoflower]

2. Dear Sir, I've rarely witnessed anyone care for family like you. You are an inspiration for many of

us. Be at peace with your long thought out decision.

[sheshe2]

3. You did what is best for both of you, Koz.

Be at peace with that decision.

[Lulu KC]

4. Wise move

You did the right thing.

[applegrove]

5. We struggled to solve issues with my parents as they aged. We had lots of great

help, still there was one problem after another my sister had to solve. When my mom died Dad moved to a nursing home. And all the troublesome issues we had faced were all solved. My dad though it was fun and started speaking French to the staff (we did not know he could speak French but it seems he had a summer job canoeing from place to place doing a lumber survey in the wilds of Quebec in his youth and the crew spoke french (they soon figured out he could cook well and made him camp cook)). He still had his beloved caregivers with him. But there were way fewer emergency moments and if there was something, the staff had seen it all before. He had a good experience there until Covid. He passed away from pneumonia 7 years after moving in. We don't regret the decision. Yes he had extra help and attention. Yes it is only one story. Don't give up hope. You can't take care of anyone if you are in distress or get sick yourself. Vibes.

[lillypaddle]

6. You had no choice Koz

doesn't mean it was easy, though. No, but courageous, and LilBit must be feeling very proud that you did what was right for the both of you.

[TygrBright]

7. Holding you and Lilbit in my heart.

You have always put Lilbit's well-being first.

Now concentrate on getting better, so you can keep doing what's best for Lilbit.

Any time you have someone you love in the care of others, especially overworked, underpaid others, there are many, many things you can do to improve the quality of their life.

Whether it's bringing a treat, reading a story, checking the laundry's clean, replacing a toothbrush, or just spending time with them, the love goes on.

Lilbit is STILL lucky to have you. There will be much to learn. Stay strong, it can be bewildering at first.

The best possible thing is to make friends with the new care giver(s). That's not always possible, but you can always be adult and respectful and as kind as possible, even when you need to be firm and advocate.

Sending much love your way.

affectionately,
Bright

[MiHale]

8. Oh koz hugs to you..

We’re here.

[kozar]

9. It's ok, I think

I’ve spoken to a few of my “ bare bones friends” and they agree,? Cuz I’m her Dad and I heat her voice everywhere, And i I’m picking up clean briefs. I stroll hear her.

Koz

[rubbersole]

12. Hard decisions are always tough even when they're the right decisions.

Bless you.

[AndyS]

10. Good decision, really bad feelings about it.

You've not abandoned her only given her care over to professionals. See her as often as you can, remind her you love her and clap with her.

As a caregiver myself I know it's coming my way too.

[pandr32]

11. What a tough choice, but you made the best call.

Hopefully you will be able to spend some time with her.
DU love to you both.
Please update us.

[Hope22]

13. My heart goes out to you.

You made the right choice. You have to get yourself stabilized. Your life together will be different but it can still good! Be easy with yourself. Love to you. 💗🙏

[mgardener]

14. You love LilBit

She needs to be safe and taken care of. With your shoulder that isn't possible right now. You did the best thing for her at this time.
That's the only thing parents can do.
It is not always easy and a lot of time it is hard.

[TNNurse]

15. You could not take care of her, you chose to make sure she was safe

and cared for. We call that love.

[barbtries]

16. omigawd.

I'm so sorry.

You will be able to advocate for her for all of the rest of your life kozar, to be certain that she gets all of the care that she needs.

you had no choice that's clear. and you're right, you do have to be okay with your decision, even if your shoulder made it for her. LilBit needs and deserves the best possible care.

[Karadeniz]

17. I'm sure this is a good decision !! Will she live where you can visit? I've now become too weak to

take care of my cat herd. We all run down !

[kozar]

18. Thanks all!

Appreciate the support.
As an addendum, it’s 1130 am here, I can’t believe how hard I slept last night. 10 full hours! Yes , my shoulder is a bit sore, but bearable. But as I sit here and catch up on the replies and love, and this may sound selfish,
I feel ok. Not great, but ok.
And I want to thank you all at DU. The hugs, thoughts, and love, were felt.

Thank you, and I’ll sign off as always,

KozandLilBit.