Sister wanted me to co-sign a 20k loan

[XanaDUer2]

I didn't offer. I'm disabled on SSDI. Now she's not speaking to me. I did the right thing for myself. It would be for my very very entitled 24-yr-old niece whos on a career track to earn a large salary. My niece is not in my life and we have no contact.

Anyway, another family member stabbing me in the back, usually over money.

But, again. My sister and niece are financial dumpster fires. My sister owns a 420k house outright, but hasn't paid taxes on it. Her expensive car has been repossesed. She has no homeowners insurance in Florida. She has get-rich-quick-schemes that she tries to rope me into. Hard pass.

I'm not opening myself and excellent credit rating up to destruction over an entitled young adult. Thanks for reading

[mercuryblues]

1. Tou did the right thing

Just to rub some salt into her, suggest she use her homa as collateral.

[XanaDUer2]

2. I asked her that

She's on SSDI too and "doesn't earn enough". Still, she's used to living a much higher expensive life then my poor working class butt. My niece is a princess.

The mom died ( we have same father) and they lost her SS. Kid turned 18, lost her SS. Did i mention she's a conservative?

[Turbineguy]

5. You can get a new SS card

https://www.ssa.gov/number-card/replace-card

[XanaDUer2]

7. Sorry I was unclear

She lost two income streams from Social Security upon the death of a person and child turning 18.

[cyclonefence]

3. Good for you

Lending money to relatives is always a bad idea, imo. If you do, they often can't/don't/won't pay you back or if you refuse everybody in the family hates you. I've been there.

What I do now, if the loan is for something worthwhile and not too much, I give it to them as a gift. The good ones pay you back, but at least you're not expecting anything.

[Grey]

4. Good for you.

You did the right thing. I also have a sister that does not understand why I won't empty my savings account in to her pocket. She also keeps lists of things she "needs". Stay strong.

[LakeArenal]

6. Cut her out. I waited to drop a toxic sibling a few years ago.

I wish I’d done it sooner . It’s fine once you get over the guilt of hurting your dead mother.

[XanaDUer2]

22. I've stopped texting her

Asking if she's ok. She also had a lot of emotional problems. Like I said, she and my niece ate constantly screaming at each other and my niece tells her to STFU. Bizarre

[marble falls]

8. Smart move for all the right reasons. I refuse to cosign on anything I wouldn't borrow for myself...

... and I do not borrow for myself.

Let mom get her taxes straight before she loses her house and she can borrow against her equity for the niece.

[XanaDUer2]

10. We're looking for a cheap condo

My niece per my sister, " doesn't like debt" and "hoards her money". My sister asked her for grocery money, and my working niece refused and said "money only flows from parent to child" not " child to parent". Um...wow

[marble falls]

12. Entitled to the teeth. You do not need this!

[Deuxcents]

13. Yeah, wow.

Does your niece help with rent, utilities or is she on a free ride? I’m glad you stuck to your own terms and don’t look back. I would gladly give my sister help if she asked and she’d help me but we haven’t had to ask, thankfully. Co-sign.. no

[XanaDUer2]

15. No she doesn't

My sister has been paying shittons of money for years. Moving her out of a dorm as an undergrad and letting her get a dog. A dog now my sisters responsibility. Paid $5000 ( according to her) to move her from north florida to south florida. I cost my mother zero to move.

Drove to Orlando to pick up a "special couch" in a rented truck. I bought second-hand furniture. Constantly poor mouths.

Now somehow got the money (which the 20k was for-I suspect she got a home loan bc the amount then became 14k) to move my niece again for a program in nursing my niece could have entered as an undergraduate but refused


Turning a 4-yr degree into a 6-yr degree and costing tens of thousands of dollars more, plus several yrs of lost salary. !!!

[Deuxcents]

17. Sometimes, people can't say no to their kids

And the kids know it. Good for you to stay out of it..and no guilt trips..don’t fall for that, either 😊

[XanaDUer2]

21. My niece runs the show

My sister created an entitlement monster... now she's got to live with the consequences...

[vlyons]

9. Shame on her for imposing on you.

Since you're disabled on SSDI, her loan application might have been refused anyway. You did the right thing. Sorry you have such asshole relatives.

[XanaDUer2]

11. Ty. And she's on SSDI

There's some weird dynamic between my sister and niece I'm not getting involved in

[Joinfortmill]

14. Smart move

[multigraincracker]

16. You are not a bank.

If the bank, in the business of loaning money won’t lend her money, there is a reason for that.
Don’t feel bad. You did the right thing.

[BWdem4life]

18. My daughter asked me to co-sign once

I told her that every time I had asked someone to co-sign for me (twice in my life) I had ended up defaulting, and I wanted to spare her that experience.

[XanaDUer2]

20. My sister also said

She asked her estranged husbands "wealthy" girlfriend to cosign a student loan from Discover her father has "bad credit" and wouldn't sign the loan. He's also "faking it" to get SSDI.

I'm trying to imagine a world where my bf's ex wants me to co sign a loan...

[debm55]

23. Oh my, I feel for you. I am glad you said no. I admire you. You are a strong woman. Love, Debbie.

[gay texan]

19. You did the right thing

Her problems are not your problems

[SWBTATTReg]

24. Your sister is awful damn selfish, to get you, being on SSDI, to sign such a document, that

literally could wipe you out, and impact your life in negative ways for so many years afterwards. How selfish.

You're smart. Take care of yourself always first, and then, if by the grace that all is good and mighty, that if you had the resources (20K is a lot of money) to basically give to someone else, I still wouldn't do it. You need the security yourself first! I think that if they're casting about looking for money already (and why don't they have the money?). I think that they knew probably your financial shape already before asking you for so much, but they still did. If they're coming to you, that's not a good sign either.

[XanaDUer2]

25. She did know

She's sitting on a goldmine house. She was supposed to sell and move up nearer me. That's what she kept saying. Now she cannot move bc she needs $5000 for a PODS. All of this is not my problem or responsibility.

I'm one hundred % certain my niece would stiff me. They both would, and Id be stuck like a chump. She pissed thru tons of money I never inherited. I wouldn't mingle one penny of mine with her. Nope

[onecaliberal]

26. You did the right thing for you. I wouldn't have done it either.

[doc03]

27. I cosigned a loan for my brother, he made one payment then he went to my mother

and she was making the payments. She started asking me for money every month. I was paying it anyway, so I ended up paying it off.
I cosigned a loan for neice and she made a couple payments then I started getting calls every day from bill collectors. That ruined my credit rating.
Never ever cosign for anyone.

[XanaDUer2]

28. In sorry

You were being nice. No way am I signing anything for a niece who "hoards money" and "doesn't like debt". Nope

[Shermann]

29. Yours is an easy position to defend

...with the caveat that it's never easy with family.

Being on fixed income, you probably have a financial plan which includes your estimated income and expenses. You never co-sign for a loan unless you are fully committed to potentially having to pay it back yourself. Can your financial plan withstand this additional large expense? If not, you may not be able (or willing) to return to work to make up the difference.

[XanaDUer2]

30. No i can't work anymore

And i have no intention of going back for anyone. I have ssdi, a small pension in 2 yrs, and need the cheapest condo to lower housing costs.

My sister pisses through money like water. If I had 20k, I'd take a well-deserved bucket list trip first after 38 yrs of working

[Chainfire]

31. So in effect, your sister wants you to go into debt to give her 20K.

Because that is what it will amount to according to your description of her financial prowess.

I have cousins that ask for money because they piss away whatever they get their hands on. They like their dope, their drink and their lottery and bingo. The answer is always no. No explanations, just no. If I explained it to them they wouldn't get it anyway.

[XanaDUer2]

32. During the hysteria of her trying to get several

People to co sign the Discover student loan, and lots of angry texts... I stayed neutral with, I hope it works out for you.

She driving on a suspended license with no auto insurance, in Florida

The car, according to her, was repoed. I sent her a few checks for food, phone, electricity...I don't have the means to support her.

[hunter]

33. I'd be rolling on the floor laughing if someone asked me to co-sign a loan.

I'm cognizant of my good fortune in having a family that doesn't play those sorts of mind games.

My own mom and grandmothers would have laughed in my face if I'd ever asked them to cosign a loan.

Sure, if I'd been in dire straights (as I sometimes was) they would have let me live with them, but that would have been worse than living in my broken down car. (I did that too...)

I suspect my siblings are no different.

Maybe it's a Wild West thing. Why would anyone want a third party tied up in family business, grudges, resentments, etc.?

I'm not saying that's a better family dynamic (god no!), I just think I wouldn't feel guilty at all for saying "no" and I'd try not to take the bait for whatever mind games ensue.