I don't know. Probably the wrong group.

[Srkdqltr]

I'm 83 my husband is 85. I used to be able to do everything.
I want to do everything but lately I'm just not into it.
I've cleaned the house, washed clothes, cooked for 58 years of marriage.
I'm not ill or weak. I can still do , but I'm really tired of it.
I have really enjoyed making quilts for charity. Enjoyed fabric and colors. Probably still do.
But, if I had the energy right now I would box everything up and give it all away.
I walked past a pile of my finished quilts and thought I should ... who knows

Today I have just lost something in myself. If I told anyone else they would just think I'm whiny and I probably am.

Next month I'm supposed to go to a retreat with 30 quilting friends most I've known for 20+ years. I can't not go because going would be a really good thing for me.

I'll be better later.

Actually I'm really pissed because husband and I hired my daughters significant other to make us a new front porch , he is 3/4 through and it looks good.
Now he is sick and I will have to hear husband say how he knew there would be a screw up .

I just had to say all this. I am not mistreated in any way. Just tired.

[MLAA]

1. Sending you hugs to get get you through until your retreat!

PS: if husband says a word about the porch remind of the times he got sick. If he persists tell him you have no more room to store his complaints and perhaps when you return from the retreat some real estate might have freed up!

[ret5hd]

2. Jeebus...you're 83! You get to say and feel...

and do whatever you want! You earned the right.

[Srkdqltr]

3. Yes actually husband is probably in the same place as I am.

He doesn't get around well.

[WhiteTara]

4. Sister, I hear you.

Add to your woes, my being broke. After decades of giving to my sisters and their families, I've been told I'm not part of theirs and am on my own. Good luck Jack.

My beloved and I have been together for 35 years and like you, I've done it all. I'm tired. Really tired. If I knew how to lay down and just die, I would; but on I go, tired.

[mopinko]

5. the trouble w getting old- u know at some point,

the roller coaster has gone over the last rise, and it’s all downhill from here. but u never know if this is that valley, or just another dip.
i’m doing much better than i was 3 yrs ago, or most of the time after that, but at 69, i know i’m runnin out of track.
c’est le vie.

[ret5hd]

15. I've got a STRONG feeling...

there is a crew in front of you laying track as fast as they can. It might not be the straightest track or the most level graded, but they’re doing their best to stay in front of you.

[mopinko]

16. it might b my kids, cuz

they do not want to empty out this house!

[ret5hd]

17. Hah! I may have taken a different track than you...

I can fit every material thing of any real importance to me in two backpacks and a van.

We live in a small house with a bed, couch, folding table, a refrigerator, a 7” TV (yeah, not a typo), and some kitchen supplies. And our cellphones of course.

Everything that we NEED can be packed in 15 or 20 minutes. Anything else is physical comfort but would not be emotionally missed.

A while back I watched that short documentary that your friend made about you. What a wonderful existence you have chiseled/carved/built for yourself, and what a wonderful family and friends you have. I am jealous, but at the same time realize I could not live that way.

May some day, unplanned, unscheduled, our paths cross, even if only for a few seconds on a city corner. I am sure that even if neither realized who the other was, we would smile at each other.

[mopinko]

18. fwiw

my kids dont speak to me since my divorce and the family in the film turned out to b users and thieves.
i have been doing a pretty good job of decluttering. and not collecting any more stuff.
not just my junk, but the other 6 ppl who used to live here all left crap behind when they left. getting there.

[ret5hd]

20. Man, I am really sorry to hear all that.

[mopinko]

21. hence my pessimism.

it’s all good. there r many upsides to being alone.

[mopinko]

19. also

if you’re ever in chi, look me up. goes for everyone here.
i have lots of room, and anyone whose hygiene standards r flexible is welcome any time. others, i need some warning.

[Biophilic]

6. And sometimes we just get tired and that's alright.

Back off a bit. Give yourself some room to be who you are right now. You have a few years on me, but not many. Our lives are not static. We change, life changes. And sometimes we’re just tired. I suspect you’ll got back to quilting because the quilters I’ve know have been a bit obsessed with it. 😁. But don’t be afraid to give yourself a little break from the norm. I’ve taken to cloud watching. Never had the “time” before. Now it’s the perfect break from my old patterns. And breathe.

[Srkdqltr]

7. Thank you all!!! Just being heard helps.

I'll be better.

[AKwannabe]

8. ...

[Karadeniz]

9. Totally relate!!!! If I walk 20', my heart is thumping out of my chest and I'm gasping for air!

Heart doctor says the problem isn't on his end. Pulmonologist says the same thing. They try to blame it on my anemia, but treatment isn't doing anything. I just now chalk it up to the old body becoming a carcass and look at near death videos for comfort !!!!!!!! I hope the doctors can help better than mine have!!!!

[Alliepoo]

10. You know what?

If you don’t want to do anything around the house that’s absolutely OK. No cleaning, no cooking, no quilting, nothing that you don’t want to do. Sit, read a book, watch tv or a movie, listen to music, drink a hot beverage or have a glass of wine, take a walk, go to lunch with a friend, whatever floats your boat that’s exactly what you should do. I get it. After planning, purchasing, preparing meals for decades you kinda hit a wall. Same with cleaning. I’m right there with ya! I say order out, get frozen meals at the store, find crockpot recipes to throw it all in in the morning then do what you like all day. Make it as simple as possible. Or just tell your husband there’s sandwich fixings and he’s on his own for supper. Order groceries online and have them delivered. Download Libby to your phone so you’ll always have something to read if you don’t feel like going to the library. Go to your retreat and relax, have a good time and refresh your soul and spirit. Tell your husband to hold his britches on about the porch- it will get finished in good time. Take good care of you!!

[Srkdqltr]

11. Thank you I'm going just that now. You guys are all so helpful.

[Iris]

22. Meal service?

Have you thought about a meal service? Meals on Wheels may be an option. They have pick up sites as well as delivery.

[XanaDUer2]

12. I've been there

Most meals ate now microwaved. I'm trying to make new local friends to get out more.

Go on the retreat I think it'll be great for you

:hugs:

[GenXer47]

13. suggestions for easier living

1. Get a robot vacuum. They work pretty well now!
2. Eat all your food on brown paper. That's right, cut up grocery store bags, or just buy some untreated brown paper. It works great, and no dishes except utensils. (If you can't wrap your mind around it then ease into it with paper plates.)
3. Ask your husband to sit down to pee. Splash no more!
4. Once the porch is done, cool it with the home improvements. Unless it's a necessity like a leaking roof.
5. Don't wear so much clothing. Turn underwear inside-out on day 2, to double the usage!
6. Drink soup from a big mug instead of using a bowl and spoon. Make sandwiches for lunch and dinner. Don't "make" a salad - just grab that romaine lettuce and munch it to the stalk. If you must taste salad dressing then smear some on your teeth beforehand.

Yes, these are the near-barbaric habits of a man whose domestic maturity was halted in college. But I didn't do much "housework", did I?

[Srkdqltr]

14. OMG.. I can't stop laughing. Thank you!!!

I had trouble gutting past 5

Can't whine and laugh at the same time.