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OldBaldy1701E

(6,229 posts)
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 05:59 AM Oct 2023

Looks like we are done.

My husband was not sleeping and I just asked him what was wrong. Turns out his employer is now doing the old 'reduce their hours so that they will quit' maneuver. We have no prospects here. We cannot move thanks to taking this extreme risk in moving up here in the first place. My health is fading fast and I can not do much of anything to help with this. I am done playing these stupid games for rich assholes who enjoy watching their grunts suffer. I am done with the lies and done with the illusion. He would be much better off without my worthless ass. He would certainly find it easier to get himself to a better place without the albatross hanging off of him. No one cares about my health unless they can profit from it. No one cares about anything unless they can make profit from it. I am just done with all of this. Fuck Panera and fuck the corporate world in general. I wish I was crazy, because I am sure I would feel much better if I could run amok somewhere. But, I cannot even run, much less do something so energetic. I am lost and I cannot think anymore. There are times when I cannot even climb a flight of stairs without resting. I am having hip issues now, in addition to all the other issues. No one cares. (Let me clarify... no one who could do something about any of this seems to care.) I am going to go now. I don't know what I am going to do. I do know that I am tired of struggling against the inevitable.

31 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Looks like we are done. (Original Post) OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 OP
Please don't go. Your husband needs you. AllyCat Oct 2023 #1
Please call 988 madaboutharry Oct 2023 #2
We need you, your husband needs you! Bluethroughu Oct 2023 #3
It is my husband who worked for that sandwich company. OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 #19
You are collectable. We need you in this, even if it's armchair warrior. Bluethroughu Oct 2023 #23
As others have said, please call 988 COL Mustard Oct 2023 #4
There must be a way to feed this story, and the millions more like it, ariadne0614 Oct 2023 #5
By the by... OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 #18
There's no reason to be sorry-- I welcome your assessment of the situation. ariadne0614 Oct 2023 #22
Don't give up. mzmolly Oct 2023 #24
That's what I thought Marthe48 Oct 2023 #25
Well, it did. (N/t) OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 #26
Reach out for legal advice. mzmolly Oct 2023 #27
I have had one both times. Did not help. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 #29
I'm very sorry. mzmolly Oct 2023 #30
There is help out there. Calling 988 could get you someone who knows how to find it. Maraya1969 Oct 2023 #6
talk to us Skittles Oct 2023 #7
Holding you in light and love. Your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as niyad Oct 2023 #8
Hang in there Marthe48 Oct 2023 #9
Please wait till tomorrow. Please call 988. irisblue Oct 2023 #10
Yes Chi67 Oct 2023 #11
I hear you, I do, but I think you might be wrong... Joinfortmill Oct 2023 #12
So sorry DownriverDem Oct 2023 #13
I care & other people care. area51 Oct 2023 #14
As others have said, please call for help. brer cat Oct 2023 #15
I wish I could post my phone number I would try to help You bonniebgood Oct 2023 #16
You've reminded me that I need to go upstairs today and dig out my 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner' 70sEraVet Oct 2023 #17
This message was self-deleted by its author LastLiberal in PalmSprings Oct 2023 #20
"I am sorry, but it is either vent here or run screaming through the streets." ratchiweenie Oct 2023 #21
So, a bit of an update. OldBaldy1701E Oct 2023 #28
I'll never get any lower than my lowest point in life 'cause any lower I'd be dead. hunter Oct 2023 #31

AllyCat

(17,021 posts)
1. Please don't go. Your husband needs you.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 06:07 AM
Oct 2023

We need you. I’m sorry you are having such a tough time and feeling so stressed and unwell. But please don’t go. Please call *988.

I am awake. We can talk if you want.

Please don’t go.

madaboutharry

(41,290 posts)
2. Please call 988
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 06:25 AM
Oct 2023

There are more people who love you than you know. Please talk to someone who can help you in this moment.

Bluethroughu

(5,687 posts)
3. We need you, your husband needs you!
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 06:32 AM
Oct 2023

And you do not let these creeps win! We need you to help turn this country into what we want it to be. If you have grievences unheard of Panera, do something to bring attention to them. If management is abusing you, and they are trying to get you to quit, if you think it might be unfair labor practices call a lawyer, and I would ask them, point blank do you support employees, and ask their advice.

If you can't find help that way, say F_#% it, and make a couple signs telling the public what their doing to you. Cutting hours, won't allow for breaks, abusive...stay on the sidewalk outside the place on days off. You will get support from most of the public, and put pressure on them to do better.


You are worth more than a paycheck! We need you here!

You could apply for short term or long term disability if your health prevents you from working. You could talk to a lawyer about that too.

You are not out of options, just time to do something different and you can do it...and you might find a better life.

Every time things have not worked out and I went a different way, it was always for the best.

Please know you are not alone and very needed!

OldBaldy1701E

(6,229 posts)
19. It is my husband who worked for that sandwich company.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 09:55 AM
Oct 2023

I have not been able to get much since 2013. I have tried twice for SSDI and SSI and been shot down both times. Both were handled by attorneys. What they have done to my husband is perfectly legal. There are no laws against screwing over employees you don't like, as long as their methods are themselves legal. And, thanks to



our Congress will always err on the side of big money. They are not, nor were they ever, interested in the travails and problems of one person. Especially one who does not play their game and praise it to the skies. Especially one who has been trying to warn everyone about the forced worship of the green piece of paper. Nice to know that 5% of the population controls everything in the end, isn't it? (Equality my fat old ass...)

There is nothing else to do. Anything I try is going to be impossible to do in a sustained fashion. I can't sit for long, I can't stand for long, I can't walk for very long, etc., etc., etc. There is not a business in the world who would be willing to make the level of accommodations necessary for me to start anything anew. Not to mention the fact that I am losing mental ability and acuity. Start something new? I can't even function over the things I already know! Face it, when something stops working and there is no way to fix it you toss it. (Unless it is something 'collectable', then that gives it value. I am never going to be in that category, so... yeah.) That is reality.

Bluethroughu

(5,687 posts)
23. You are collectable. We need you in this, even if it's armchair warrior.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 01:22 PM
Oct 2023

My husband's mom, took three times before she was excepted by DSSI. The lawyer told her they always reject the first attempt. Give it one more try. You can do this.

As for the Greedy bastards running the corporationsand capturing our government, it's disgusting, knowledgeable people like you writing letters to your Congressmen talking to anyone and everyone about yourself and experiences with trying to get DSSI is important because you are not alone and it's impotant you know this. The rich are doubling down against all of us, but we are a majority and we are gonna win.

I have a few anthems I like to listen to...

SPOON, "The Underdog"

White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army"

Bob Dylan, "Like a rolling stone"

Natalie Merchant, "Which side are you on"

A good read might be, "The fourth turning" by Neil Howe

Please know you are needed, special, and priceless.



ariadne0614

(1,862 posts)
5. There must be a way to feed this story, and the millions more like it,
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 06:49 AM
Oct 2023

. . .as a steady diet to our so-called elected “representatives” until they wake up. It’s way past time to reconsider the folly of our experiment with dog-eat-dog capitalism.

Dear OldBaldy1701E, please be gentle with yourself. Maybe let others think for you till this particular darkness passes through. At my stage of life, it isn’t beyond imagination to find myself in your shoes in the not too distant future.

OldBaldy1701E

(6,229 posts)
18. By the by...
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 09:40 AM
Oct 2023

I contacted my representative last month because the lawyer who was handling my second attempt at trying to get either Social Security Disability or Supplementary Income suggested that I do so, as she proved to be too busy making money from clients who had easy to win cases rather than one which is going to require some effort. I received my reply around the 2nd of Oct. They looked into the matter and found out that I was denied both. I am disabled, they all agree on that. However, my husband, who was working part time for the same company that eradicated his entire department one month after we went into COVID lockdown and then had to go back there to be a member of the team that he used to be manager of, makes (MADE) too much money. Which is a complete joke. So, after ten years of not working (I did some gigs here and there) and various physical and mental ailments (that we all agree exist and have effectively ended my performance career), now they are pulling the old corporate bullshit to dump the guy who they have to actually pay a decent wage because of his massive experience and skill. (He is not alone in this plot, as they seem to be targeting a few of the 'old guard' that are still there after the massive shuffle they did by removing that department. They effectively released something like 3000 people that day.) This will leave us in pretty bad straits. I am in Minnesota, which has a great social assistance setup. They are the only reason I am alive right now, to be honest. However, there is no help for surviving in today's economy because what little social safety net we have left in this country is being destroyed by greedy politicians and oligarchs and if one is not a Soros or a Rockefeller, then one is S.O.L.. This is a time when I am beyond frustrated and angry because I cannot do anything to fix this and I do not know anyone who can offer any real help.

I am sorry, but it is either vent here or run screaming through the streets.

ariadne0614

(1,862 posts)
22. There's no reason to be sorry-- I welcome your assessment of the situation.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 12:12 PM
Oct 2023

It bears repeating, because you are not alone. If a critical mass of the majority of us who are fed up with this game refuse to shut up and sit down, then A Change Is Gonna Come.

Today this Mary Oliver quote came up on my FB feed, from a group called Hell and Earth:

"We will be known as a culture that feared death and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity for the few and cared little for the penury of the many.
We will be known as a culture that taught and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke little if at all about the quality of life for people (other people), for dogs, for rivers. All the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a commodity. And they will say that this structure was held together politically, which it was, and they will say also that our politics was no more than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings of the heart, and that the heart, in those days, was small, and hard, and full of meanness."

One of the comments on the thread seemed particularly relevant to me:

“I appreciate the powerful words that are written here, these are the things that I am unable to articulate. I am comforted when another human being articulates my internal fears. . .Thank you for sharing, I was listening 🙏🏻🌈🎶”


mzmolly

(51,527 posts)
24. Don't give up.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 03:17 PM
Oct 2023

Your spouse's income should have no bearing on your SSDI claim. Do you have a doctor who will advocate for you in the form of a letter of support?

https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/counting-marital-income.html

Hang in there!

Marthe48

(18,868 posts)
25. That's what I thought
Mon Oct 16, 2023, 07:15 AM
Oct 2023

My husband's cousin got SSDI and it was based on her income, not his. That's been a few years ago, so maybe some things have changed.

mzmolly

(51,527 posts)
27. Reach out for legal advice.
Tue Oct 17, 2023, 08:48 AM
Oct 2023

Social Security disability attorneys will take a fee out of your earnings. Often times you can have payments backdated to when you originally applied. I would search for Social Security attorneys in your area. Good luck to you.

mzmolly

(51,527 posts)
30. I'm very sorry.
Tue Oct 17, 2023, 11:36 AM
Oct 2023

I know filing out the applicaiton can be tricky. I assisted a family member who was ultimately approved. But the questions were a catch 22. I was guided by a kind person at the SSDI office. "Unable to work" means not able to work 40 hours a week with consistency. That was helpful for me to know when assisting someone with the questions. A doctors letter was also helpful in the case of my family member.

Thoughts are with you.

Maraya1969

(22,978 posts)
6. There is help out there. Calling 988 could get you someone who knows how to find it.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 06:57 AM
Oct 2023

You are not alone. And we care about you here.

Marthe48

(18,868 posts)
9. Hang in there
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 08:09 AM
Oct 2023

Wait 24 hours. Let your husband know how low you're feeling. Let him be there for you.


If you have family and friends you are in touch with, let them know you are struggling. I don't know how old you are, but if you're a senior, maybe there is a senior center where you are, and they could tell them what's going on with you. Hoping for a change for the better.





Joinfortmill

(16,353 posts)
12. I hear you, I do, but I think you might be wrong...
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 08:26 AM
Oct 2023

I think now may be the time your husband needs you most. Hang on for him. You weren't specific about your health issues, but one thing stood out to me. Hip pain. Go to Amazon or Walgreens and order FRESH pure premium moringa. It's a super food from the moringa tree. It's safe. My doc knows I take it.I think it will help your pain. Take 2 twice a day. Give it two weeks to begin to work.
Hang in. I'm praying for you both.

DownriverDem

(6,613 posts)
13. So sorry
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 08:35 AM
Oct 2023

Where do you live? Are you sure you can't move? There are places that are better and would be able to help you.

brer cat

(26,127 posts)
15. As others have said, please call for help.
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 08:50 AM
Oct 2023

We all care about you and want you safe and secure. You are welcome to vent here as often as needed.

bonniebgood

(945 posts)
16. I wish I could post my phone number I would try to help You
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 08:59 AM
Oct 2023

would not have to run or walk, I would pick you up. I've been where you are when I was diagnosed with cancer.
Im in remission 3 years feel great on a plant based eating habit. There are people who care without profit. Please Reach out.

70sEraVet

(4,133 posts)
17. You've reminded me that I need to go upstairs today and dig out my 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner'
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 09:27 AM
Oct 2023

I know you are an artist. And there is beauty in the depths of dejection, and there is value in all beauty. I'm glad you reached out. Don't stop.

Response to OldBaldy1701E (Original post)

ratchiweenie

(7,895 posts)
21. "I am sorry, but it is either vent here or run screaming through the streets."
Sun Oct 15, 2023, 10:35 AM
Oct 2023

If you need to vent here, just go ahead and vent. On the other hand, if you run screaming through the streets, you just might get the attention you so desperately need. LOL Sorry, I don't want to make light of your problems. I've been there. I have a severely bi-polar son and it took until he was in his late 30's to get disability even though he was diagnosed when he was 15 so I know what you are going through. Don't give up. Keep talking to us. Find another attorney. If you stay at it, you will eventually win.

If your husband gets laid off, at least you can apply for assistance. Right now he makes too much for you to qualify for anything but you are still too broke to make any real changes so you must feel very stuck. You need to get some counseling and do it now. Don't wait. We will all be worrying about you.

Just keep coming here and keep us informed how you are doing and RANT ALL YOU WANT AND ALL YOU NEED.

OldBaldy1701E

(6,229 posts)
28. So, a bit of an update.
Tue Oct 17, 2023, 08:49 AM
Oct 2023

I experienced a heart issue on Sunday, so I had to come to the hospital. I am here now. I expect they will release me today. Then, I get to sit in my house and wonder why I came here. I should have just let it happen. I appreciate everyone's expression of support, but you are backing a horse that never won a race and in fact should have been made into glue a long time ago. I cannot fathom why I am still here, still suffering and still doomed to never amount to anything (that would be worth a fuck to anyone). Hell, I don't even know how I am going to pay my part of this little waste of time. Face facts, some people are just not wired to be selfish enough to exist in the society we created. We don't give two shits about money, so we are effectively non-functional. But, those who demand our lives in exchange for their greed don't want me to leave as long as I might make them a few more dollars. Once I am fully incapable of doing anything, they won't care one bit. And as I am pretty much there, that is that. I do not have anything left to fight, as I have spent my entire life fighting. The fight is over. I lost.

hunter

(38,842 posts)
31. I'll never get any lower than my lowest point in life 'cause any lower I'd be dead.
Wed Oct 18, 2023, 09:58 PM
Oct 2023

Life is always wonderful, alas sometimes only in retrospect.

Your story is important. Without shame or guilt may you continue to live and speak your truth.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Mental Health Support»Looks like we are done.