Finally hit a breaking point today

[vercetti2021]

So I wrote out a huge email to friends and family. And well I'm regretting it now, but at the time I was frustrated and just so done being nice and taken advantage of. I'll post the email of what I said.

Hello. Normally each holiday season I normally bake everyone goodies as a Christmas gift since its homemade and easier on the wallet. But this year I will not be doing any baked goods. For the last three fucking Christmas's I've have had to pry a goddamn thank you from the people I've made shit for because they are either too fucking selfish to do so on their own or don't simply care. Its suppose to be a season about giving right? So why is it so fucking difficult to give a thank you? So with that. I am done going forward. Bake your own fucking cookies, make your own cake pops because I'm done being unappreciated for the hard work I do baking this shit every fucking merry holiday season. And those who have the curiosity to say thanks or give in return, you're unaffected.

Yeah I regret sending that out because I gotten a few replies from the ones I called out telling me they said thank you and really don't understand the unjust attack. And that made it worse since I said. WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SAID THANK YOU OUTSIDE OF ME PRYING ONE OUT OF YOU!?

Yeah I had a bad day and this holiday has me more so stressed than previous ones

[cilla4progress]

1. I'm sorry you are undergoing

this stress and bad feelings!

[Deuxcents]

2. Hmmm..this sounds familiar. Have you sent out a similar message?

You may need to take a deep breath and compose some kind of statement resembling humble pie.
Keep cool and do what makes you happy..if it’s not appreciated, you did it for you, not the accolades, right? 🌞

[Bluethroughu]

3. We all break down sometimes, we are human.

It's OK, you had a moment. The ones that were thankful will understand, the others will just complain they don't get the goodies.

Try to enjoy the holidays, and take some peace with you into next year.

It's definately an off year over here too.

[Shellback Squid]

4. you kind of went a bit oveboard but I truly understand the sentiment

you might have asked them if they prefer raisins in the cookies and see the responses
or anything you don't usually include in the cookies, marzipan?

[calimary]

5. Sounds like you need some hugs. Nonjudgmental hugs.

This time of year seems to be a time when so many of us are in various levels of upset.

This is a good place to vent. A VERY good place to vent. And to find sympathy and empathy. Keep it, and use it, and let other DUers understand, and share what you're going through - because THEY are probably going through sometime similar, or they know people who are.

We all need to try to be good to each other. And kind to each other. And patient with each other. Mainly because too many other people aren't - or can't.

[vercetti2021]

14. Preach!

This is what I needed to hear. Thank you.

[KatK]

6. visualizing peace, ease, and gratitude for you! n/t

[LoveTheDU]

7. don't beat yourself up

your true friends and supporters will understand, we all have our moment/days

[vercetti2021]

13. My bestie did

She said she just valued me as her friend. This is why she gets stuff by default. She never shunned me

[kimbutgar]

8. Hang in there brother

You’ve done so good you shouldn’t feel bad !

[vercetti2021]

11. Sister

[Warpy]

9. Yeah, just give them all socks

Last edited Wed Nov 29, 2023, 12:59 AM - Edit history (1)

or something else inexpensive and what they usually buy for themselves when they run out. There's no point to continuing the tradition if it's leaving you feeling used and unappreciated.

If you get the baking bug, give the stuff to the jail or a nursing home, both places will appreciate it much, much more.

[vercetti2021]

12. I should for the shelter

I'm sure they would 100% be fucking more appreciative.

[XanaDUer2]

16. They will be

Time to put our energies towards ppl who really need us. Not rude friends and relatives. I'm sending out 3 Xmas cards this year. Bitch sister gets nothing.

[global1]

10. Now That's One Holiday Cooking Show I'd Watch!!!.......nt

[XanaDUer2]

15. I'm trying not to constantly reach out

In always the one reaching out first. I'm craving some type of positive attention from relatives and friends. Its pathetic. Petty, but I used to wish everyone happy birthday on fb. Ones who didn't ever wish me HB. so, i decided to stop. I did get a lot of HBs this year, tho. I was shocked.

I have to just accept no one gives a shit. I stopped communicating with my loser sister screaming at me how to live my life. A bossy loser. If she had her shit together, i might listen more to her. I reached out the other day. Crickets. So, i just have to stop being so needy and realize I'm alone, basically. So, if no one thanks you, stop killingyourself. Fuck it. I might send a nasty email too. Not worth it if no one can even muster up a thank you.

[vercetti2021]

17. Here here!

For reals, I'm done being a stepping stone

[XanaDUer2]

18. I need higher self-esteem

Less ppl pleasing and approval seeking. Its very hard for me to not reach out. It really is. I feel invisible sometimes. But I'm tired of it always being me. I'm the one texting happy holidays. Wishing birthday. I'm just girding my loins and deciding that i just need to suck it up and realize they really don't care. A cousin i was super close to as kids ignored me for yrs. I reached out to him thanksgiving. Of course i did. He's never going to ask me how i am.

I wouldn't bake one fucking thing more for any of them. If theyre offended by your email, tough shit. Sometimes you have to get real. You said if you thanked me, this doesn't apply. I'm certain the complaining ones never said thank you, are embarrassed, and are now attempting to project their bullshit onto you.

Truly don't waste your money time and energy anymore. Give that to a shelter or a poor kid needing a xmas gift.

[OldBaldy1701E]

19. Wonderful post!

It was the same lesson I had to learn. Circumstances forced me to move back to my father's house and I drove up his phone bill to the point where it was cut off for a few days and I had to pay it. I finally decided to not try to stay in touch with those people who I thought were my very good friends and see if they contacted me for a change. Guess how many of the five friends that I thought were like brothers and sisters to me actually contacted me? One. ONE. Always remember the chorus to 'Garden Party' by Ricky Nelson. Also remember this old saying from my neck of the woods: There are not enough hours in the day. Apply that amazing nature to things that you appreciate and that appreciate you, V. Like X said, one has to eventually suck it up and accept that those people don't care. And, it is painful. It sure was for me. But, it was also rather cathartic as I realized that I was being too nice again. (Something my husband gives me grief on daily.)