I bit the bullet and reached out UPDATE!

[XanaDUer2]

Last edited Tue Jan 2, 2024, 04:44 PM - Edit history (1)

cousin PMd me and said text him my number, so I did. He finally texted me. I quickly filled him inon my upcoming tests, he was sympathetic and said let him know. So, now I have his number if there's an emergency. Thanks everyone for reading and weighing in. It's a start!


My other cousin visited yesterday, and her input about the being-ignored-by-a-relative issue was that his father, my moms brother, left their lives early on and their much closer to their mothers family. Not sure why that would effect us trying to get closer now? So, I just PMd him asking for his number, and that I'm going in for diagnostic tests.

And that's going to be it for me. He'll either respond or not, if he sees the message. My cousin, female, said the most we can hope for would be a lunch with him. No in-house visiting him and his family. I thought about this input. I think she's right. So, I reached out, need to let go of my happy-family-reunion fantasies.

He has a large house on The Island, btw. He's. Not in a 1-room shack. But I'm not pushing anymore. If I do have serious health issues, I may not even share them with him at this point. Oh, he'll probably be sad, but I'm kinda over it. My fantasies are just that I realize

[onecaliberal]

1. At least you got some clarity.

Knowing can be half the battle.

[XanaDUer2]

2. Exactly

I was able to interact with other relatives last night, one at length, so that's something

[onecaliberal]

3. I'm so glad for you.

[XanaDUer2]

4. I think I may be setting myself up for hurt

But I decided to just do it. My mom took his father in and supported him for years

[onecaliberal]

7. You're going in knowing though. Only go as far as you can without destroying yourself.

You have to think of yourself first and foremost.

[XanaDUer2]

8. Thank you

After my cousin and I spoke, I'm more prepared now for whatever may come

[niyad]

5. Hugggggs. Glad that you got a bit of clarity. And I hope that the test results

can give you some hope.

It is my personal opinion that the fantasy image of "happy family" drummed into us by media, "experts", etc., is responsible for a great deal of unhappiness, anxiety, etc. One of my favourite sayings comes from a shrink: "95% of all families are dysfunctional."

[XanaDUer2]

6. In in, to my mind, a precarious life position

I was hoping, should I ever need some help (homelessness) I could reach out for support. My mom helped their dad for decades. So, as usual, I'm on my own. Very lonely feeling. I'd love to meet his family, they're very well off. I just adored him and his sister as a kid. Lifetime ago

[Goddessartist]

9. Sending you lots

of love. For what it's worth, I can't count on anyone in my family either, really.

What island?

[XanaDUer2]

10. Long Island

I need a big supportive family and i don't have one

[Goddessartist]

11. Gosh

you're on the other side of the country!

You can message me anytime. I can be a part of your virtual family. I come from a big family, but have never really been supported, in fact have been attacked over and over again. That has slowed down with the passing of our Mom, but it's still there - childhood PTSD - continued abusive patterns. 3 are very wealthy, while I am trying to get disability. My lawyers are on it. My sweetheart takes care of me, but we have to borrow money. I suppose I should sell some art.