I feel i should explain my post about LilBit.

[kozar]

Another of what I'm going through, is mental of course.Lets call it my " Dad complex",
I believed I could still take care of her medical decisions, her finances, etc.
I've learned, and coming to terms, with, that was 2nd nature to me, when I was caring for her. 24/7. I knew her every sound,cough, sneeze, and yes, when I changed her brief. I knew, how she is feeling. Truth is, I don't see her 24/7 anymore.
They do, so when they were calling me and asking me, questions, about a runny nose, she is coughing, we would be on phone for 30 minutes while I asked questions about what kind of cough,sneeze, runny, etc. So her care providers and I spoke. And we came to agreement, care providers , make the decisions, don't have to call me and ask me,after all, you are seeing g her 24/7, you notice the changes, better than me now. If some seems way out of ordinary happens call me.
And here is my mental health point. I need to let her go to professionals, it was hard when she left my home, and, every , step, I need to let her go more,
Just kills me mentally, But, with my help, I'm starting to u understand, I'm not Losing LilBit,
I was emotional, as I'm, giving more and more of her care away. Eventually, I'll have to give financial and all to care center.My counselor asked me one question, that finally got me to a better mind set,
" are you still, able to get there, twice week to see her?" I said yes, he said," it's only because of the decisions, you made, that she is still here"
Not blowing my mental health status horn, I'm just thankful for a good counselor, counseling takes a, bit of time,and a lot of raw honesty.
I didn't " lose LilBit" horribly mis-worded, on my part.

I'm working to be ok.,

Koz

[Karadeniz]

1. This sounds good!!!!

[Warpy]

2. As long as you can visit now and then, she will be OK

Visiting is important, you will still pick up on tiny changes they might miss, but as time goes on, they'll pick up on them, too.

You're still her dad in every important way and can still make some of the decisions for her, but letting her caregivers do their jobs is an important step.

Good for you for having the insight to know when you were in over your head. You will both be better for it.

[stopdiggin]

3. very well said. that ticked some important boxes. -(nt)-

[Polly Hennessey]

4. Kozar, everything you are doing is pointing in the right direction.

Your love is exceptional.

[Hope22]

5. Caregiving is a world unto itself.

You have done amazing things for LilBit. Sooner or later we have to lean into the foundation of helpers outside our home. It’s so so hard to do but without this help we will collapse before our loved one. Be easy with yourself. It sounds like your counselor understands you and that is certainly a lifeline! My heart is with you! I feel your pain. Rest and feed yourself and make those visits when you can. 🙏🏼💗💗

[blm]

6. Of course.

You are meeting her needs, and doing a good job of it.

[elleng]

7. THANK YOU, Koz, and thank goodness!!!

[sheshe2]

8. 💙💙

To you, Koz and Lilbit. You are a good man.

[barbtries]

9. forced to live between a rock and a hard place.

in the final analysis you did what you needed to do for your beloved daughter, and will continue to.

[Easterncedar]

10. Thanks for the reassurance, Koz

It sounds like you are continuing to take the best possible care of your daughter, even as that means letting go to some degree. I hope you can continue to take care of yourself as you deserve. You’ve worked so hard.

[RainCaster]

11. I understand

[limbicnuminousity]

12. Brother, that is a heavy weight to bear.

I don't know your situation but it's evident you have been and continue to do everything you can. Treasure all of the memories and do what you can to build more good ones for the both of you during your visits. That is all that matters.

It may help to write letters to your child even if she never sees them. You may find unspoken things that clarify your own feelings for you.