A lack of understanding and kindness. I had described here the toxicity in my home. I last talked to my my mother on
her birthday. January 2. When I sent her a card with 50 dollars and called her. She neither called or sent me a card for my birthday feb 20 or my son anything on April 25. She said it got lost in the mail. Whatever. Yesterday after the news that my husband has malignant prostrate cancer. I called her. I was heartbroken and was crying. My mother's response was" when you got to die, you die, There is no use crying about it. like a child that has had their toy taken away. Even Jesus died. Don't you believe in Jesus? Stop that crying. Since the phone is on speaker so my sister and mother can hear mutual conversations.My sister states " I guess I'll have to pay for a taxi to take me for my check=up." Mother chimes in the same. These are the folks that had Rich and myself all last summer for my sister's "cancer" which wasn't. Back to call, she gives me a litany of relatives that have died from cancer and ends talking about the flies in her house. Never one frickin word about how Rich was feeling. let alone speak to him. Call ended with, "let us know how he does" Oh yes. my cousin bought her a strawberry pie and I heard how good it was. Nothing to say about Rich except if he is going to die. he'll die. I saw them for what they were when my Mother and sister and a group of relatives said my dad and I have a Jewish nose. Laugh, laugh. and she went bananas having me get the my rosary out of his hands. I guess it will be back to no contact. My husband is kind, will do anything you want. is smart and well educated, loving to me and our son. What selfish , useless people they are.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Dear Deb55,
Let them figure out their own problems. I know you want them to give you a tenth of the care and support you’ve given them, but they don’t have it to give. I’m glad your neighbors were there for you as are your DU family
Those who have had experience facing cancer may be able to point you in the direction of a support group as can your Dr. 💗💗💗💗💗.
And come to us anytime!
Last edited Wed May 15, 2024, 10:46 AM - Edit history (1)
Incidentally, my husband also has malignant prostate cancer. He has had it for many months. So far, not much change, although the doctor says he is too old for the usual treatments, at age 81. There are treatments for this, especially for men who are not quite that old. Also, maybe you could ask around and find the best treatments available. Hang in there, even though your family has emotional problems that prevent them from responding appropriately. I also speak from experience here. Since you can see these problems, you must have huge inner strength that will help you stand all this and show your husband the sympathy and help he needs. You can do it! Just do your best.
Your chosen family is full of love, kindness, respect, and acceptance.
Hold all that to your heart.
Sending a big hug
I'm sorry your husband has prostate cancer, my husband had a scare some years ago. He cut out any protein bars and estrogen food like grapfruit juice which was his fav., it shrunk his prostate in a month. Doctor couldn't believe it, but he didn't have cancer, just enlarged.
I hope your husband gets through this. I hope you know you have support here. And we all are sending healing vibes!
You deserve compassion for the road ahead. Sending you love and hugs.
...to a daughter reeling from horrific health news. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better. Going forward, please insulate and protect yourself from exposure to that kind of negative, hurtful energy. Especially so you can save your strength for yourself and for your husband. She has shown her true self. You are justified to act accordingly.
I am sending love and healing light to you and your husband, and fervently hoping that he responds well to treatment. Hang in there!! We are here, anytime, and we care.
