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[XanaDUer2]

Last edited Mon Jun 17, 2024, 06:40 PM - Edit history (1)

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[XanaDUer2]

1. A gallon of wine gone in 12 hrs

I don't want to go to a shelter and disrupt my routine. Its not fair. He said i made him be in pain and i just went crazy. He claims he was the victim of a car accident in the 80s.

[Nictuku]

2. I feel for you

I think this is why I am still single, at 63. I was married in my 20's, and had a few relationships after. But the thought of having to share my space now with anyone (especially like you describe) makes me glad I am. My fear is that I would end up with a guy who is dependent on me, and I would have to take care of. When what I really need is a man with carpenter skills (but I'm not really drawn to good ol' boy types). Ah well. Good thing I enjoy my isolation.

I have a neighbor who tells me her husband is gaslighting her. It is so frustrating, mainly because she is not financially independent. She feels trapped. None of my suggestions on how she can make her life better seem to stick. She is younger, and has more options open to her (starting with getting a job to get her out of the house and away from the toxic guy). When you are older, that is more difficult.

I wish I had some kind of sage advice to give you. I hope that my empathy for you, at least, helps.

[XanaDUer2]

3. Thanks

I had to quit working. He took up paying the bills n rent. I worked yrs and paid for a lot n he paid rent. I feel he owes me. He knows he's a smelly old loser, and uses money to threaten and control me.

Due to some emotional problems i have, i didn't break up w him in the 90s. I tried. But like i said there's something wrong with me. But i don't want to deal w him or listen to him anymore. Its not easy when you're in a HCOL area, needing months of dental work.

I'm assuming he'll want more booze later. He's 72. He's abused his body for decades.

[Louis1895]

4. Some resources that may help you

It sounds like you are at your wit's end. It must be hard to look for help in your situation. There are some free and confidential services that may help you find a way to escape these complicated circumstances.

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

https://988lifeline.org

The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

Call 988 if you get so low that you are contemplating harming yourself.

I hope this helps!

[XanaDUer2]

5. Thank you for that

He's been slurring yelling at how awful I am and I dint care, so I told him then leave. I mesn shrug.

He claims he's not getting pain control ( he's a pillhead) but can't leave the area bc of me. I told him research where he'll get better medical care and move wo me. Don't stay here for me if its killing u you.

He's blaming me for his pain and I lost it