Today is exactly one week since I lost Sian, and since that unrelated 'family' member kicked me to the curb

[Siwsan]

I can't really even use the term family because, well, she let me know I'm NOT family to her, anymore.

Anyway, I still keep expecting to see Sian jump up on the kitchen counter when I'm making something to eat. Still looking for her in her favorite places. I miss her curling up behind my knees at night.

Yesterday my brother stopped by to drop off some Trader Joe goodies and to see how I'm doing. We were in the living room, talking, when Madoc suddenly jumped up on the back of a chair, stared up at the ceiling and started loudly meowing. We saw nothing. I now wonder if Sian was being the proverbial 'Ceiling Cat', and checking in to see how I'm doing.

As for the former 'family' member, I'm taking my therapist's advice and just letting that go, and that feels good. My mom used to pull that exact same emotional blackmail - do what I expect or you will be disowned. I had an actual list of things that would get me booted out of the family. Of course, my dad would never have let that happen, but when I got that message on Friday, it sent me reeling back in to time.

I didn't feel empowered to test my mom's threat. I felt fully empowered to test this person's, which she probably never expected.

So am I fine? No. Still not sleeping more than a few hours a night, but I have gotten my appetite back and did a whole lot of yard work, today. And my boys have been brilliant, keeping me company and purring up a storm.

[Raven123]

1. Well goodness. Take care of yourself.

[Siwsan]

4. I've got Madoc and Arthur sitting with me, and Gryff looks like he's about to join us

They like the fact that I'm a childless cat lady.

[onecaliberal]

6. You're not childless, your children just have fur.

And four legs.

[Siwsan]

10. So true.

They are why I get out of bed in the morning. Well, mainly because they are demanding I feed them.

[onecaliberal]

14. You are their entire world.

🫶🏻 they are so lucky to have you as their mother.

[Raven123]

8. Animals know when we need support.

I wish I was so perceptive.

[Siwsan]

11. They really do

I've noticed they have all been much more talkative, this week. Especially Arthur.

[rockbluff botanist]

2. Dear Siwsan

What happened?

[Siwsan]

9. The family issue is a long, ridiculous story

Suffice it to say that this individual is someone who has a very skewed perspective on things, feels she is an authority on EVERYTHING and that my priorities are out of line. I blocked her from seeing my social media posts so I think she just got frustrated and lashed out.

As for Sian, that's a rough one. We are having a horrible flea season. I'm talking Biblical Plague level horrible. I didn't realize that every time I went out and came back inside, I was bringing in a lot of fleas on the legs of my jeans. When I finally saw what was happening, I did everything I could - bought flea traps, sprayed, spread diatomaceous earth EVERYWHERE. I had been combing and treating Sian for fleas, but it turns out the medication I was using was useless and the combing wasn't keeping up She was black so I couldn't see what was happening. She was the lone survivor of her litter and was pretty small for her age. I think the fleas, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of them, just found a weakness in her system. She seemed fine, last Wednesday, and was gone by Friday afternoon. I try to not blame myself, but that's difficult because I unintentionally brought the fleas inside.

[XanaDUer2]

3. Take care

[onecaliberal]

5. I like to work on my hard too. It occupies my mind and gives me peace.

Sounds like you’ve got a great therapist.
Love the furries.

[FirstLight]

7. Hang in there...😔

I'll have to go back and read all the details of your last post but I remember about you losing Sian...

Fwiw, we lost purresephone in October, right before the snow... Through the whole winter, we saw her shadow all over, just out of the corner of our eyes... My wife and I would look at each other and say did you just see the shadow run down the hallway?
Other times we could swear that our cats Oscar and biscuits were playing with the shadow. Also just to add, Persephone was all black 🤨
I hope you can take comfort in knowing that your fur baby is still nearby when you need them...

[sinkingfeeling]

12. I'm so sorry. Somehow I missed both stories from you. I know you miss Sian.

[Siwsan]

15. It was a horrible weekend

Losing Sian, the 'disownment' and then Joe leaving the race. I didn't feel at all functional until after I saw my therapist.

It's hard when you've never been anything but kind and generous to someone, and then they veer off in to the absurd.

[irisblue]

13. Grief is a true bitch I've learned

[PikaBlue]

16. Outdoor Cat Shelter

I thought about your yesterday when I saw a heated, outdoor cat shelter on Amazon. You mentioned you were trying to figure out a shelter for your front porch.

[Siwsan]

17. I've been browsing Amazon for shelters

That's where I got the nice wooden on that is in the back yard.