Don't tell a sick person you'll check on them

[XanaDUer2]

Them not. I'm so let down. My cousin, who I thought I was very close to, knows I had surgery 2 weeks ago. I finally reached out Saturday. She flew out West to visit her friend. Fine. She didn't text me Sunday or yesterday. Just a quick text, how are you?

Still having pain. You all give more of a shit about me than supposedly close family members. I'm not texting again.

[GPV]

1. I'm so sorry *hugs*

[XanaDUer2]

2. Thank you

I'm not a fun person anymore. I'm a sick unemployed disabled person who doesn't drive. I'm that person now

[GPV]

5. Don't drive, either. Still employed, but definitely

feeling my age. Bipolar depression and Ocd combined with anxiety have been killing me this week. I'm back to what-iffing abt hubby passing before I do.

Here's hoping we can focus on something positive.

[XanaDUer2]

6. I obsess abt partney dying

I get you. I became unable to work some yrs back. Strong anxiety and GAD.

[GPV]

11. They thought I had that, but putting my on

Cymbalta launched me into the stratosphere. I was 21 when I first suspected I was bipolar, and abt 35 when I finally got the diagnosis, because they didn't discover bipolar 2 until later.

Keep hanging in there, and I will too. No binge so far today.

[femmedem]

3. I'm so sorry your family has let you down so profoundly.

What a rough few weeks you've had.

[XanaDUer2]

4. Sometimes

I think I'll fall asleep and not wake up texting makes a quick check in easy.

[femmedem]

8. That amount of anxiety must be so hard to bear.

I'm glad that you find some comfort here on DU.
But yeah, a simple text from family is not too much to expect.

[XanaDUer2]

7. Her job keeps her very busy

But she can fly to Utah.

[LoisB]

9. Those closest to you can sometimes be the greatest disappointment. We are here. Sending you a big HUG!

[XanaDUer2]

10. Like I said

Yall care more

[OldBaldy1701E]

12. I am sorry XanaDUer2.

[XanaDUer2]

13. Thanks

She said she would check in yesterday. I think I annoy her now. Like I said, I'm not the person I was

[OldBaldy1701E]

14. Sitting here in agony, I can relate to that very well.

The thing that gets me these days is that such events prove that even those who you were sure were close to you usually are not as close as you thought. Yet, when I am a bit standoffish and reluctant to just take everything at its word, I get accused of being 'a grouch' and 'unfriendly'. Well, I did not become that way by choice. I became that way from experience. And, there is no better teacher than experience. NONE.

Or to use that golden oldie:

'Once learned, twice earned.'

[XanaDUer2]

15. My family has a history of putting friends

Over family. Its like a familial borderline personality. When she had a hysterectomy, i stayed with her days to help her. She couldn't come here to help me with my surgery due to work. I was understanding.

[OldBaldy1701E]

16. You remind me of this bit from Mike Burbiglia.

The whole thing is good, but the part I am talking about is from 12:06 TO 13:06. He is describing my family!

[XanaDUer2]

17. I think I realize when I blew it

Having worked with home less for a decade, I have a fear of becoming homeless myself. I've seen ppl who had a great job lose it, and end up living in their cars.

I was trying, per my shrink, to see whom I could rely on to allay my fears. So I asked and she told me all the complex reasons ppl become homeless. Remember, i saw ppl who just didn't have enough money.

I think that i became a potential burden. I didn't feel better of course.

[XanaDUer2]

18. She's on vacation