At this point, it is more than a 'bad day'.
Having panic attacks every day gets tiresome. While my hubby is at work, I am here alone. I have no one else to talk to. No one else around here wants to bother with me. (Again, multiple cities in five states, and I have never had a problem with meeting people and making friends. Here? Oh well...)
I am having to face the fact that I should sell my guitars, as my hand is messed up and I don't play them anymore, and our future is in dire straits. All I ever wanted was a Telecaster. I finally got one in 1991. It is a 1977 and is one of the last batches made in the US before they started factories overseas. It is all I ever wanted. Now it just sits in my closet in its case. Like a body that I feel I need to hide because it reminds me of my own metaphorical death. But, the idea of getting rid of them is making me literally get weak in the knees and short of breath. I guess it will be the ultimate example of how miserably I failed in life when I have to part with those comrades that I developed a relationship with to do what I did. Keeping them around, it kind of seems as if I am not done yet, even though I am. Oh, boy, am I done. I am so done. But, I am really struggling with doing what needs to happen here.
I hope everyone is having a better day/month/year. There are only four months left in this year and I am wondering if we are going to make it.
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Not the same as in person friends, but we are here for you.
Where do you live?
I had no idea Minneapolis was that way. I wonder why?
How long have you lived there?
Well, we can't solve all the world's problems, but I can tell you someone is on DU pretty much 24/7. So there is always somebody to talk with here.
There are mental health help lines who might be able to suggest things for your anxiety and panic issues.
There are different types of anxiety. You may well already know. But in case you didn't, I would get to the bottom of that as treatment varies with the type.
My wife has it. I know the drill pretty well but I'm not a doctor.
Keeping active helps her.
There are supplements that help. Calming herbal tea and peppermint are two she uses.
Avoid caffeine.
Get exercise.
Meditation, breathing exercises, mindfulness might help.
I gave my '60s Tele to my brother-in-law after my sister treated him poorly.
I buy broken guitars and make them into what I want.
I miss the Tele some but I've made a bunch of 'great new friends' salvaging them from the scrap heap.
Nearly all of them are technically better guitars.
But none of them sound quite like the Tele.
Some quiet classical music or laid back music you like can help calm you.
Getting a plan together to deal whatever is making you anxious helps calm you.
You ask a bunch of folks (maybe online) and note the advice that seems applicable/appeals.
You get 5+ brains working the problem brainstorming for solutions. You get a better plan.
If you can get some skeleton of a plan that makes some sense, it will help anxiety because you have some idea how you are going to get through it - not so overwhelming.
You're not licked. You came to a good place.
Hang in there. Help people help you.
I cannot hold my hand in the position needed to play the instrument. My knuckle pops out of its socket and my hand locks if I try to close my hand that much and apply pressure. It is not a matter of 'reduced ability'. I cannot do it anymore. I cannot grip chopsticks anymore for the same reason. I cannot make much jewelry anymore for the same reason. Add to that the mental issue, whatever it is. I can't keep time worth a crap anymore. I get lost. I used to perform for ten hours. One hour that was just myself and then from ten pm till dawn with the band. I doubt I could stand for an hour, let alone perform with a guitar and sing. I tried to sing one song all the way through the other day and could not do it.
That is what I mean when I say I am done. Whatever it was that I had, it is gone. And, I am empty because of it. I am a performer. I live to create entertainment. The industry became a business and I am not a business person. Then, my body started to fall apart. I tried to change careers and that just turned into a shitshow. My body got worse. I have gone from someone who used to hike for days to someone who takes a thirty minute stroll and then has to lay down and take a nap. I don't have a degree in anything. I have taught people who have had them. I have corrected many mistakes of people who have had them, and all the while they made much more than what I made, because I never had enough money to pay a college to make me a nice paper that says I know what I know.
That has been the issue with my entire life. All anyone ever wants from me is money and I have never felt it was that damned important, so I never have any. So, now my husband pays the price because I can't be dependable anymore. I used to be the one who fixed things. Now, I cannot. Wonderful.
Can you volunteer with Harris's campaign? Perhapssomething sitting in an office somewhere?
Then you could meet & get to know people with a common interest & similar values. Maybe make some friends?
Work outfits from when I was living the life. I have them 14 yrs. I feel sad when I look at them.
So I get it. Don't sell them when you're not in a good place mentally. Can you have a Dr prescribe anti anxiety meds for panic?