Ever wonder

[XanaDUer2]

Last edited Sat Sep 14, 2024, 11:55 AM - Edit history (2)

How your life got so stressful and shitty? My bday is coming up. My cousin usually visits me. Not sure she will this year. I seem to be on some sort of shitlist. Shes currently in AZ visiting her discovered-late-in-life half sister. She recently came back from Utah visiting another friend. I mentioned maybe going into a shelter, and wasnt told Hey, you could stay with me in my (large) house. *

My partner has a pre-cancerous esophageal condition and, for some reason his GI, out of the blue, wants him to have an endoscopy. I'm so worried its cancer. I am not up to nursing someone I'm barely able to take care of myself now.

My half sister was verbally aggressive to me via text again yesterday. She has a lot of her own problems. I didn't respond bc I'm exhausted. Just so tired. Tired of verbal aggression. Tired of thinking supposedly-close relatives have my back and finding out I'm on my own. I'm the unemployed drag of a relative with problems now. Everyone else is traveling around, visiting, having great lives. I'm sitting in a cramped old unit now having health concerns constantly.

My life went wrong badly, somewhere. Today I'm really depressed. I'm avoiding my sister, too. I know my relationship is not good.

* me considering entering a shelter due to my pita partner and becoming for all intents and purposes homeless. She just said "yeah" when I said this. Its obvious I'm on my own. ETA: Any help would be temporary until I got back on my feet. Not a lifetime commitment.

Thank you all.

[crosinski]

1. I'm sorry a shelter is your only option.

And I’m sorry that it seems like you might have to take that option. On the other hand, moving into a shelter would get you away from your partner, who I know causes you a lot of stress. As for your family, well you can’t choose them. They don’t sound very compassionate or even interested. I know how that feels. My own family is emotionally distant. I’ve given up trying with them and concentrate on the people who do care. No matter what you decide to do, I’m sure it will be your own path to eventual happiness.

[XanaDUer2]

2. Thanks

We were close very close growing up. So I'm very confused. I don't really want to go to a shelter.

[crosinski]

3. I was very close to my brother too

… and he died so angry at me that he didn’t want to see me. He wouldn’t say why, leaving me guessing for the rest of my life.

[XanaDUer2]

4. Its strange, isn't it?

I spent all this time thinking how lucky I am she's 2 hrs away in case something would happen. I feel like I was in a dream world. She didn't even come for my surgery bc she's busy and had a new boss. I was stuck with my partner as my responsible adult.

[crosinski]

5. Strange is right!

Especially when it’s someone you grew up with. When they throw you a curve ball, it’s so unexpected. You just don’t know what to do with it at first!

[OldBaldy1701E]

6. I wish I had to wonder.

I lived through it all. I know why it happened.

I am cursed. It is the only explanation.

I hope things get better for you. I hope you can find another human who is willing to act like another human. I know I have found this very difficult recently.

[XanaDUer2]

7. Ty

I was just screamed at. Then he comes out to tell me he has sleep paralysis like he didn't scream at me. Fuck you and your SP.

Yeah, i told my I thought close cousin w a big house I might go to a shelter and be homeless and she said "yeah".

So fuck me