Today's my appointment at Oak Street and my anxiety is red-lining

[Siwsan]

This will be the 5th provider I've seen in 4 years. He's a new guy. And it's Oak Street's last chance. My first provider was wonderful, but she 'retired'. I suspect she actually left to go elsewhere. The 2nd left on maternity leave, and the 3rd was covering for her. For some reason, they assigned me to a 4th and she was a nightmare. She was callous, said a lot of inappropriate stuff and blew off my extreme anxiety as if I was making it up. I'd leave there feeling totally hopeless and usually curled up in bed when I get home. Maybe she just didn't like me and requested I be re-assigned.

I held off taking my anxiety medication until a few minutes ago (11:15) and my appointment is at 1. I figured that will give the anxiety med time to kick in.

If this guy isn't a fit, I'm pretty sure I'm just going to switch to telemedicine. The help I really need is being provided by my therapist and the PA who prescribes my mental health medications. I always leave there feeling uplifted and hopeful

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I'm holding the good thought that this therapist will be so good for you, my dear Siwsan!

You are overdue for some really good luck.

[Siwsan]

10. I was trying to remember the last time I had fun that didn't involve my kidcats

I'm hoping that after this appointment my stress will ease and I'll regain my appetite. I'm sure I've been taking in under 1,000 calories per day, for the past few months.. It will be interesting to see what the scale shows, this afternoon.

This is nothing new. I get stressed, I lose my appetite. One time I lost almost 30 lbs.

Hopefully it will really end after November 5. Otherwise I'll be stocking up on Ensure.

[redwitch]

2. A virtual hug for you Siswan.

Anxiety is awful and I hope you get the help that you need.

[Siwsan]

7. This will be a good test of the anxiety medication

I already feel an easing. My problem is anxiety drives my blood pressure up, although the last APN said anxiety doesn't do that. My psychiatric PA begged to differ.

Leaving me alone in an exam room 'to relax' just makes my anxiety MUCH worse. My first APN listened to me and spent that time getting to know me. We'd chit chat away for a while and I'd start to relax. My BP was always heading down by the time she was done and I left her appointments feeling good.

The rest haven't bothered to get to know me, AT ALL. I can't begin to explain how their energy just slammed in to me, making me even more anxious. Suffice it to say, I'm not a cookie cutter patient. I need to build trust. Taking my BP at the end of the appointment MIGHT be a better indicator, but what do I know.

[pwb]

3. Have you tried cannabis?

There is a reason they kept it from us for so long. It works.

[Siwsan]

8. I think it's a problem taking it with psychotropic medications

When they prescribed the Ativan, Oak Street made me sign some form promising I wouldn't and they dangled the threat of a drug test. Another example of Oak Street 'WTF???' They handed me the form at the end of my appointment, along with other paperwork. When I brought it back at my next appointment they got mad because, apparently, I was supposed to complete it with their 'help', or something. They why the hell hand it to me when I'm headed out the door!?!??!?

I got none of that from my mental health team. Once I get settled in I might try some. I have enjoyed gummies and oils.

[pwb]

12. Because they want you to keep taking medications.

Cannabis stays in the system for about a month so you could get away with seeing how you feel with it. I was on hydrocodone and it helped me get off it completely. I prefer smoking or vaping because they give me more control. Edibles stay with you longer. Marijuana helps with sleep, and we eat better. Drugs they give out take away appetite and make sleep restless. Best of luck whatever you do. Peace.

[LoisB]

4. I wish you the best. Hopefully, the new guy will be kind, understanding, and helpful. Hugs.

[LiberalLoner]

5. Sending good wishes and hugs to you 🤗

[KPN]

6. Wishing you the best today ... well, every day! I like

your positive thinking about telemed, therapist and PA.

[SheltieLover]

9. Please try to keep in mind that the provider, not you, is at fault if they don't have a calming bedside manner

Please try to use your internal locus of control, rather than being so adversely affected by external events.

I know anxiety is tough, but you truly do not own the problem.

[Siwsan]

11. So true but I struggle with that

As a child, and even an adult, every time something emotionally hurtful or bad happened to me, my mom would let me know it was either my fault, or not big deal and just get over it.. Never a word of comfort or support. I've spent a lot of time feeling guilty about things over which I had no control.

[SheltieLover]

13. Well, she was wrong

I'm.so sorry to hear you had to suffer through such situations.