So, the neighborhood where I used to live in Tennessee was very tight. (WARNING: suicide discussion!Not mine!)

[OldBaldy1701E]

We were the kind of place that looked out for each other. Regardless of whether or not you were on the best of terms. There was the usual local squabbles and then there was "Who is that pulling into Dick's driveway?". We once hired a dog sitter for our two four-legged roommates and the girl told us when we next met that she had to say hello to each neighbor when she first arrived. (She was unaware that my hubby and I had emailed everyone with the info as well as her website so that they would recognize her when she arrived. Otherwise, they would have been over there in droves. LOL.) That place was tight and we often did things together. Halloween was a big one for us. The entire street was very popular due to much decorating and much candy given out. Christmas was another one that got everyone involved with block parties and mulled wine and egg nog and gag gifts. It was a great place. We lived there (in different houses but always in the same two blocks) for fourteen years.

So, I received a text this past Tuesday from one of our good friends and neighbors who we were very close to. He lived across the street from us. His brother and that family lived to our right as you faced the house. Their son was a firebrand who was always a handful but still was a good person inside, regardless of his childish d**k waving. Our good friend informed me that he had hung himself the weekend prior. I am a bit shook. He was either in his late twenties or early thirties. He was 16 when we met.

I confess to being torn about this. If his soul has found peace... then good. I am hardly the person to be disparaging his methodology when a part of me is right there with him. But, his family. I must say that this outcome was very unexpected. He never struck me as the kind who would do this. He as always the one who wanted to fight, not the one who decided to withdraw.

So, I am rather shaken by this news. I thought he was a great dude and he and I always got along very well. He was even cool with my 'family' and he liked my husband as much as he seemed to like me. (The family seemed your typical southern family, but they did not have issue with gays or non-christians. Very DLP. Go figure.) Our dogs played together all the time. (Theirs would often escape just to run over and stand by our gate until one of us would let him in to play with our two. They loved each other.) I did what I could to help him whenever he asked for it. He was known for a bad temper, but he never did that around men even when we got really drunk on holidays. (Some of those holiday parties were epic.) It is just really strange to me.

I miss that neighborhood and its vibe every day. To hear that one of the mainstays of that place is now gone is tough, as we have already lost two earlier in the last decade.

Thanks for the time. I am really thinking about all this.

[democratsruletheday]

1. as someone who has dealt with depression and

anxiety my whole life I can relate all the way around. Just so sad when someone takes their own life. But your overall attitude about him sounds healthy to me. You just never really know what people are going through, and the pain they're enduring on a day to day basis. Sorry you have to go through the anguish of mourning and losing someone like that. Don't be leery of reaching out to his family as I'm sure they're hurting badly.

[XanaDUer2]

2. I'm so sorry

Its shocking. I'm not someone to talk, either. Yesteryday, I told my therapist that I'm down to take me Jesus and dead ppl don't worry about jaws, money, id theft, rent, horrible relatives.

I'm glad you have happy memories and I'm sorry you're in a wasteland . Minnesota nice?

[OldBaldy1701E]

3. So, here is my experience with 'Minnesota nice'.

And, I have to start by saying that this has been my experience and others may vary (and do).

I have been asked about 'Minnesota nice' ever since I move up here. After eight years here, my take is this:

Yes, there is 'Minnesota Nice' here. But there is very little 'Minnesota Friendly'. The nice I have gotten is the nice one gets from the front receptionist in the main office of a major corporation. In other words, they are superficially nice and that is as far as they are going. I once met a person who had moved here from my old area. He taught me a saying that has proven to be more and more true every day. He said, "A Minnesotan will give you directions to anywhere except their house." When I was in the hospital getting my heart bypass, I met one nurse who was from Georgia. She laughingly told me that she had been up here for ten years and the people here 'still did not know what to do with me!'. I now see that they 'don't know what to do with me' either.

That has proven to be the norm for the past eight years.

Now, I am not going to sit here and act like I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and everyone is evil because they don't like me. But, I have never had an issue with social interaction before moving here. And, I have met with a few locals here who have agreed with my assessment. Their take is that it has some basis in 'Scandinavian culture'. Which I find interesting, as I have known others from such regions and they did not act like this. But for whatever reason, I am just not accepted up here. I suppose I am not helping by following the old adage: One gets what one gives. I am not mean by any stretch, but these days I have given up greeting those who cross my path and I don't try to engage in conversation since no one is willing to engage back. I am a bit worried about this as the time is going to come when I go visit my old home again and they are going to think I am a rude S.O.B. with this behavior. I suspect this is why the current situation bothers me. Because where I am from, such behavior would get one isolated and shunned for being stuck up and rude as hell.

Sorry, I did not mean to ramble on about this. There is noting for me to do anyway. I don't belong here. I cannot afford to leave. We let ourselves be conned into the move and now my husband and I are paying the price.