I just spent an hour cleaning my oven.

[OldBaldy1701E]

Normally, this would take me like twenty minutes, and then I would move on to something else. Nowadays, that is all I got. I had to come sit down and stop moving. I almost fell over at one point.

If this is my future, screw it all. I cannot even do one simple chore without almost passing out? How can I be a partner to my husband when I am freaking infirm? How can I save us from this situation when I cannot even do a simple chore like this? We have to move soon enough and this does not bode well for such a chore. Neither of us are in the best of shape anyway, and now this. Of course, we don't have money to throw at people to help us out, so we are pretty much on our own.

I am tired of struggling all the time. Past tired, in fact.

[Lulu KC]

1. But you cleaned your oven!

I'm sorry you are so exhausted. I am familiar with these feelings, too familiar. But you got it done.

[OldBaldy1701E]

2. Thanks.

It is not exactly being exhausted. It is the pain and the inability to even bend over without toppling into things and the fact that when I reach into the oven I can feel things stretching and starting to fray and it is cutting my hand multiple times on edges and stuff that normally I would be able to avoid. This is horrible.

I wish it was all about physical deterioration due to age. It is more than that. This is my body literally failing at a rate that seems much more rapid than a normal 'bell curve' type of situation. I am failing fast these days and this failure is too expensive to address. (Which is another story for another time.)

Should I increasingly suffer until the end or avoid all that with a bit of dignity? This question has been in the front of my mind for years now.

[hunter]

3. I can't remember the last time I cleaned my oven...

... so you're one-up on me!