It is draining, and causing self esteem to lower

[XanaDUer2]

Ya'll, is this abuse? I've cut off a half sister. I will admit, I overshared domestic issues for too long. Also, some politics (shes pro Trump) popped up on my FB page.

One of our last text interactions:

How much Xanax did you take today?

Me: i haven't taken any.

You sound out of it. More out of it than usual.

Imagine this level of criticism constantly, or being talked to this way. And I allowed it and didn't say fuck off

[Ocelot II]

1. I think it's good that you cut her off. Leave it that way.

Nobody needs toxic people in their life. I stopped talking to my nasty SIL, more than 10 years ago and haven't regretted it for a minute. If something you're doing hurts, stop doing it. That goes for interactions with people, and relatives can be the worse because you think they're supposed to to care about you but sometimes they don't. Blood isn't thicker than water, and sometimes it's got poison in it.

[XanaDUer2]

2. Ty

I'm a person who probably needs more support, due to some emotional and expensive dental problems. So, maybe I'm too much. But its been constant lecturing, calling me "lazy" bc I don't make homemade quiche, etc, questioning my health decisions like I didn't need gallbladder surgery...all I get from 2 ppl is constant bullying lecturing and criticism. One a violent shoplifter. The other a junkie felon. I'm just worried about my 32k worth of dental work

[Ocelot II]

3. I understand that you'd be worried about your dental problems,

and that you need support, but what you've been getting isn't support, it's sabotage. It's good that you recognize this.

[delisen]

4. Taking a Break from the Non-Supportive People

It is good to take a break from those people who are not helping and may be hurting us when we are down.

This will give you time to build yourself up. You can always reach out later if you choose.

If you don,t want to make cut someone off entirely, try a limited contact. Greeting card on birthday or holiday card can be a help. This type of snail mail can be very useful in staying in control of a relationship when you need to focus on yourself.

I have had to strategize keeping even very well-meaning friends at a distance when I have had to get in control of some personal health issues.

Finding support can’t be challenging though. Don you have anyone in your life who you can count on to listen and help with problem-solving without getting negative or intrusive?

[XanaDUer2]

5. My therapist

My beloved shrink is retiring. Only my therapist was insightful enough to note thats another big loss in my life.

I never speak to ppl the way I've been spoken to my my partner and so-called loved ones. I have a ton of crises going on. And I'm too needy, I guess. Hoping KH wins bc, fascism, and would love that 25k downpayment help with a condo.

[delisen]

6. The cluster of losses can be tough

especially when a person is dealing with many issues.

One thing that helped me when I was overwhelmed was remembering something a mentor had once told me. He said that we all have unconscious priorities and that it can help to uncover what one’s priority is. It helped me figure out that I my number 1 priority a certain health issue (I had many, plus financial and other issues). I was able then to fight to get a surgery I needed which was being denied to me. After the surgery I was better able to address other issues I am still working on.

Incidentally, I notice that you say you may be very needy. I think that being able to consider that strength and an ability to empathize with the people around you.

On the election: I am in a swing state and I can feel the momentum for Kamala continue to build. People here seem to be really coming together to win.
I appreciate your sharing. It really helps people such as myself. Thank you and let us know how things go.

[XanaDUer2]

7. I've been made to feel like a burden

And pain in the ass, and the hurtful part is from a cousin I thought was like a sister we were very close as kids. And I'm being blown off, I was always the one now reaching out. I've stopped when she didn't visit me for my birthday.

She's at a homecoming parade today and I realized she's living her life and is probably glad I'm leaving her alone now. And it hurts.

My partner is awful, but I don't have enough money to leave

[XanaDUer2]

8. I've gone onto my FB page

And warned that I don't want to see ha ha emojis on any of my political posts. I started out with, dear assholes...