and my cousin is out of the hospital

[fizzgig]

just got off the phone with her and she sounds fantastic. they adjusted her meds just a bit and talked to her about drinking and pot in moderation (i told her it's best to just let her med levels get leveled off before she starts either again). now she's just trying to sort out her living situation, she lives on campus and her folks told the school that she'd been in the hospital for a suicide attempt and she's having to jump through a few more hoops to be able to get into her place. and her boss held her job for her, which i thought was wonderful.

i'm glad she made it through and hopes she benefits from what she learned during her time there.

[olddots]

1. stay in touch with her

you are a voice of reason where her parents may be reactionary at this time ,it's so good she is out and got some methods to deal with
the bottomed out feelings .

[fizzgig]

3. i am going to keep in close touch with her

and enlist the rest of the family to, as well.

[hunter]

2. I think people know my story. I was "asked" to leave university twice.

It took me nine years to graduate.

I think those were somewhat simpler times. School was inexpensive compared to now and physical jobs like loading trucks or refurbishing sub-standard student housing paid fairly well. I never had to take out any student loans.

I'm "lucky," if you can call it that, that my most wretched OCD kicks in before the suicidal thoughts. If I'm dead, how can I do the stuff I need to do? Like running nowhere in the middle of the night. (That's how I destroyed my knees and hips, and I can't tolerate ibuprofen anymore, opiates make me sick, so mostly I hurt.)

My worst place I was living in my broken car in a church parking lot. Good people pulled me out of that. A past professor got me back into school again, long after any sensible person would have written me off as hopeless. I went on to graduate.

Meds got much better too and the stigma of mental health issues decreased. When I began this journey it was all hush-hush hidden. The school dean gave me a choice, take a leave of absence for vaguely documented reasons or we'll have to expel you and you won't be coming back.

Guess I was lucky, but people stood with me past the first and second leave.

I hope your cousin has similar support and that someday she finds some sort of stability in her life.

Stand by her as much as you are able.

[fizzgig]

4. she took the year before last off

and went back last semester. we never really talked about why, but it was easy enough to guess.

it sounds like she's got a good group of friends out there and they've stuck by her, so she's got a support system out there, too. i've told her she's always welcome to call me and i'll be touching base with her on a regular basis.

[Locut0s]

5. I too was in and out of university, taking another stab at it as we speak...

I spent 4 years trying to get something out of SFU. I'd start a semester and get 2 to 3 months in only to watch it all come inevitably, and predictably, crashing down on my head. Like an idiot I'd sign right back up and try again, why would this time be any different? Well it's got to be right? I can't afford it to NOT be different I'd tell myself. But of course the anxiety and depression would return and I'd quit again.

Eventually I realized that wasn't going anywhere and I went to work in the retail sector. My mother got me a job at 7-11 and I spend 4 happy years there as an assistant manager. But things turned sour there and I burned that bridge too. Then it was on to another retail job which worked out well for another year or so. I think you see the pattern. Hopefully with the positive momentum I've built up this time and the life changes I've finally started to enact this coming semester won't be yet another disaster. Only time will tell.

[Locut0s]

6. I'm so glad to hear that fizzgig!...

I wish her the best and hope all goes well.

I'm sure you know and I feel condescending telling you but don't be surprised if she has another setback. It doesn't have to be as serious as a suicide attempt but it's unlikely someone who has been that low won't have some setbacks.

In fact I think one of the hardest things about learning to deal with emotional problems is constantly being vigilant about the "oh it's all behind me I'm cured" mentality that is so inviting and easy to slip into. These issues have developed over our whole lives and they aren't going to go away in a few days or with one stay in the hospital. At least for most they don't.

I myself am worried about my own positive momentum I've built up. I'm worried about the proverbial other shoe dropping and I know sooner or latter I'll have some type of setback. It's just bound to happen. The real measure of how much better I am is how I deal with it when it happens.

Again great to hear the good news, sorry to be a downer in the face of it. Just my nature

[fizzgig]

7. i do worry about her

she gets wrapped so tightly around the axle about things, but i'm the same way when i'm off my meds and i think this latest round was brought on by her going off her meds. they've got her on a new cocktail, including a couple meds i take myself. they work wonderfully for me and i hope they do the same for her.

i've gone off my meds more than once because i've gotten stuck in the 'oh, i'm all better now' mindset, but now i know better than to think that. i've learned my lesson on that front and i hope she has, too.

she sent me a text while i was at work today and i glanced at it, she's pissed at one of her friends about talking to her dad about her needing to be in the hospital (or something like that, i just glanced at it) and i'm wondering how she's going to handle that. i'll talk to her tomorrow when i have a bit of time.

i think one of the most important things is holding on to a positive mindset and not walking around waiting for things to go to shit. i believe you get back what you put out. that's not to say that i walk around ignoring the bad shit and pretending everything is rainbows and puppies, but if all you do is wait for the bad to happen, i think it's more likely to happen.

this is a conversation i often have with my husband, but that's a story for another day.

keep your forward momentum going, change the things you can and let go of the things you can't