This message was self-deleted by its author

[Tobin S.]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Tobin S.) on Tue Feb 24, 2015, 05:54 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Your focus is right where it needs to be, my dear Tobin!

The future is yours, thanks to your hard work and intelligence!

Congratulations!

[Tobin S.]

2. Yep. :)

I got the Christmas card, btw. The poems are very nice. I hope that shoulder gets healed up soon.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Oh, good...

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm looking forward to a pain-free shoulder too.

Merry Christmas to you and Jen, my dear Tobin!

[mopinko]

4. congratulations my friend, you are a walking, talking, feeling grownup.

i wish i could send my kids to follow you around for a while. i hope some day they will be able to say something similar about me. right now they are stuck on the mistakes, of which there were many.

it has taken me to age 60 to really appreciate and embrace some of the things my father gave me. it took the farm to make me feel like i was my father's daughter, and that was a good thing. he taught me in an sideways way to be careful of alcohol, and that is why i have a life that he would have killed for.

and my mom, too, for enduring those years with love for all us kids, who went through the same.

it has been my pleasure to follow along on your journey, my friend. a real pleasure.
all good things for you, and jen.

[Tobin S.]

5. Thanks, mo.

I think the turn in my thinking about things that happened when I was growing up came when I realized that I have made some bad mistakes in my life as well. I've hurt people. I understood to get past that personal shame I had to learn how to forgive myself. Then I realized that we are all growing and evolving as we age. There are things that we do when we are young adults, when many people start having children, when we are not very wise and not very aware of the way our minds work. Most people do not intend to hurt other people, but it happens and I think it's mostly done before we have had a chance to evolve personally.

We all change and most of us grow psychologically as we age. It's probably natural to be angry at your parents about some things when you are a young adult. When you find a way to move past it is when you start to really grow as a human being.

*Note: I'm not talking about forgiving people who are guilty of terrible abuse. For some people, it is necessary to cut all ties to family relations due to the level of toxicity and past crimes.