a few thoughts about getting better (one of which applies to me ofc)

[steve2470]

THIS IS THE MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP. Abrasive and unkind comments not welcome here.


1- Most people have a "bottom" to their emotional/psychological pain, upon which they become galvanized to do what they need to do. Some do not ..and some just die miserable. Sad, harsh and true. I firmly believe for most human situations, where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. It may not be easy, cheap or fun, but there is a WAY out. Change it, adapt to it, or both.

2- Of course, the term "bottom" applies to much more than just alcoholism. It applies to anything in life that bothers you or impedes your enjoyment of life, IMHO.

3- Some patients/clients are called "help-seeking/help-rejecting" in the psych professions: they seek help, only to avoid implementing all rational and sane approaches. Hmm. At some point, everyone just gives up, including most psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, friends, family members, doctors etc. One can only complain so long, before one gets tuned out. Also sad, harsh and true.

My personal philosophy is, if you're going to "complain" (as distinguished from seeking support), you need to try your best to find a solution. That applies to me too. I realize I complained a lot in this group about my drug-withdrawal-thing, but at least I was doing what the doctor ordered me to do. I'm much better now, by the way. Still not 100% but much better, and I deeply appreciate the support I was given.

If you seek support, that's wonderful. Just know that it's a great thing to do your best to adapt to, cope with or change your situation, and we're here to support you in your efforts to do so.

My $0.02. If you disagree strongly, that's fine. I won't debate it with you, because my mind cannot be changed on this topic

[Tobin S.]

1. For some people rock bottom is a bullet in the head.

That's the case for about 10% of people who suffer from mental illness last I heard. Many others who suffer from mental illness take a slower route to suicide by engaging in self-destructive behavior. It may not be as quick as the gun, but the end result is that it takes decades off of their lives.

That 10%? From what I gather, there is nothing that can be done for them that will keep them from taking their own lives.

It's a strange, strange thing. I live in a small town. Last weekend a cop took his own life with his service weapon in his assigned cop car. No one knows why. He didn't leave a note. He was in his mid 50s and 3 months away from retirement with a full pension after 28 years on the force. With possibly four decades of life ahead of him he was all set to enjoy life and still relatively young. We just don't know what was happening in his head. Clearly, it was a lot worse on the inside than outward appearances.

I've been close to suicide in my life, but I have a very strong will to survive. I really didn't want to die, I was just in agony. I wanted my life to get better and was able to take the necessary steps to make it that way. Maybe for some people living with a diagnosis is the end of the world for them.

The only way to get better is to reach out for help. It is very hard for people who have always been highly self-reliant to do that. I fall into that camp. Maybe that cop was there as well. Maybe in his mind if he couldn't make himself better then nobody could.

[steve2470]

2. you're right about the bullet to the head

I think many, if not most of we men have been raised to be highly self-reliant and not to reach out for help. In my situation, I was "forced" to reach out by my parents, and then later on I learned to reach out on my own accord.

You're right about the reaching out for help. If you do not (for whatever reason), it's either a slow or fast trip to misery and self-destruction or suicide.

It's all about survival and happiness.

You either do "what you have to" (no matter how distasteful it may be) or you just suffer in silence. For decades I've chosen to do what I have to, and I'm glad I have. Suffering in silence is just BS in this day and age, IMHO. There's no point to it and there's no nobility or strength or "male macho points" to it. Why not be happy ? Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only get one trip on this rock. You might as well make it a somewhat happy one, despite the fact that the world has been and probably always will be a f******d up place.

Thanks for chiming in Tobin, always glad to see you here!