Gryff has decided to tread on my last frayed nerve, today
He is just on a rampage, this morning. He jumped on the bar cart and broke my precious Manhattan pitcher. SHATTERED it. OK, it's just a material thing and I didn't use it all that much but it had great sentimental value. How he didn't break more items is a mystery. Fortunately I keep the costly glassware in the hutch, behind glass doors. I've moved a Waterford Crystal bowl from the top of the hutch because he likes to jump up there, too.
Next he knocked over a box of masks I keep on TOP of the Grandfather Clock, and started chewing the elastic off of them before he got distracted by something on TOP of the book shelf, where my parent's ashes are kept. Fortunately, again, I got him down before he caused another disaster.
He also knocked everything off of the dining room table, including the pad and table cloth. I've taken all of the leaves out to minimized the table top and am now desperately searching for the rubber matting I have, SOMEWHERE, to (hopefully) prevent him from sliding the two sections of pad on to the floor. I'll probably just go out and buy more.
Now he's sitting on the table, confused as to the size change.
Time to take a deep breath because it's too early to pour a glass of anything soothing.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I can't tell you how many things he's broken but the worst was when he hopped up on a table and sent my mother's antique porcelain lamp flying. It was in pieces on the floor but he wasn't even slightly contrite. I'd like to think he's gotten better in the years I've had him, but I think I've just gotten better at keeping him away from anything I care about.
He also scratched up my great-great-grandmother's settee that I'd just had reupholstered. He made such a mess of it that I've had to cover the whole thing with a throw. Since then he's graduated to scratching up my desk chair. Still, he knows I love him so he gets away with it to a point. He very obviously knows he isn't supposed to do those things, but he doesn't really care. 
I hope the rest of your day goes better. 
They can live in the soil. Happens every time I repot something or bring in a new plant.
So I offer you...
Recipe for death spray:
In a spray bottle - atomizer, use about enough Murphy's Oil Soap to cover the bottom of the container-a little bit more than that; about 1/4 of the container of rubbing alcohol, fill the rest of the container with water, shake well and spray on them little bastards.
The soap is innocuous to plants and pretty harmless around animals as far as I know. Only the alcohol before evaporating is an issue and you know what to do there.
If the soap doesn't gum up their wings, the alcohol with fry their metabolic system. Sometimes they'll fall right out of the air when it gets on them. Doesn't work on spiders.
You're welcome. 
