Taking my mother in law back to Pennsylvania.
In south jersey having coffee rambling had business yesterday in Philly. Anyway mother in law who is 83 had been staying with us at our home in Biglerville Pennsylvania area since Liz her oldest daughter my wife passed last November she came and stayed until middle February then decided to go home to Jersey.
And then she came back to us around first week of march and stayed until end September then she had head back to her home reason surgery at hospital in Philly then rehab and home.
Fact is my one brother in law lives with her yet travels quite a bit for his work he retired from Philly P.D. Although is away for days or weeks at time. Now my mother in law is a fierce independent woman who stand maybe four foot eleven inches.
Yet watching her move around her home with cane in her visage i see in her expressions fear frailty yet we both have memories of and I’ve know her for thirty eight years.
Over dinner last night we were talking how she would exercise in the 80’s yoga up to maybe four years ago she was still exercising with group of her friends or go to gym with me when her and father in law would visit Liz and kids we would all go bike riding she would even run with me.
Yet now at I’m 57 no longer a runner my cardio comes from walks biking or rowing easier on my knees and i do not want a surgery.
Over dinner last night I brought it up and in coming to stay with us. One son is staying home to attend college our three grown daughters live close and she will not be alone for large amounts of time. Her mood changed instantly to cheerfulness at and she laughed and said yes as long as I’m not a problem.
As in laws we do get along quite well and only problem we had when she was staying with us from march and beyond. I explained we all need space and you need to just let me at times or even her or our sons have space.
Elizabeth and i would joke a key to a successful marriage space she would tell people i hope she was joking if my husband had any other job we’d been divorced. My job for what 36 years union teamster truck driver lots times I’d run a lay down board.
In which say you leave your home terminal point A go to terminal point B grab your radio box and duffle bag go hotel sleep perform hygiene get up and take set of trailers back to point A.
So yes Liz and I we had space at times re bid I’d bid yard jockey home daily yet even then we had those we need solitude. So laying out how we can live together my mother in law agreed we will fill all her scripts today for 90 days. And for doc appointment son or i can bring her home when needed.
In her sense humor she brought up in car on way home from restaurant will you be cashing my checks. In this year last time she realized I was not cashing her monthly checks for her staying with us. I never asked her for them yet she’s independent so she would write out $2000 check month to help pay food utilities and she discovered I was not cashing them.
And we got into arguments that she said she wasn’t a freeloader she will pay her way. I looked at her that day and said the dogs eat more than you do. It was comical my Hobbit mother in law pointing her finger reading me the riot act in her Scottish accent.
Last night I told her save cash I’ll just get it off you when I am gonna buy a litter of lab puppies RIP BOOG the chocolate lab
and her needed couples counseling.
Yet please no oh that’s so nice of you Dunc pup to do this at this moment as I drink coffee she’s packing and it’s funny I’m smiling . And she has gear that she brought before to our home.
Yet in this ramble I know we’re not built for being alone.
And we covered Duncan the golden retriever pup does not need a whole peanut butter and jelly sandwich daily it’s tough those golden eyes melt me.
And on ride home today about two half hours the woman cannot stand blue grass or country music I’m same yet I’ll put a station on Sirius XM just to see how long before she says change the dam station. 
Have good day D.U. Community.
= new reply since forum marked as read
The right hting to do.
Glad you have such a relationship, it's healthy and loving in the ways only you all can define.
