If I have a resolution

[Marthe48]

It'll be to remember that it isn't about me.

In the wink of an eye, my grandchildren are teens. I still see them, but the relationships have changed. They are in an intense time of their lives. They sometimes don't take time or have time to hang out with me and chat. So I'll make sure I remember that it's not about me.

I'm the only grandparent they have. They lost the other 3 before the oldest was 7. I'm representing all of their grandparents, and I not only want to leave the kids with good memories, but also with some ideas about how to be a grandparent.

[no_hypocrisy]

1. A noble and loving goal

My father's parents were deceased at least a decade before I was born. My cousins were small children when they passed, so they too were denied the experience of grandparents.

My mother's parents concentrated solely on her and each other when they visited us. It wasn't until my grandfather was widowed and 89 that I decided to claim a relationship with him. We actually became best friends. Took him out for pizza and beer. Snuck him into my law school graduation. Gave him a 90th b/d party. Everyone seemed to ignore him and they didn't know what they were missing.

Go for it Marthe!!!

[MOMFUDSKI]

2. You really thought the whole scenario

through. Teaching how to grandparent is so important. My husband and sibs despised their grand moms for their meanness. I had all wonderful ones. Keep at it!

[Goddessartist]

3. Beautiful resolution.

We're grandparents here for my two grandsons. Both of their other grandparents are in Guatemala and Puerto Rico.

Their biological grandfather passed in 2011, on my side.

I'm so fortunate to spend time with them now, when they're 2 and 8, in fact have the 8 year old today. I want to spend as much time as possible as I've already had a heart attack, and have daily bouts of tachycardia, so I live in the moment with them.

You're giving them such a Gift. The teenagers will come around. I was sent to take care of my great grandmother when I was 17, and was her caregiver the last year of her life. That was a Gift to me.

[Irish_Dem]

4. I didn't realize the importance of my grandfather when I was a teenager.

When my siblings and cousins were young we spent a lot of time with our grandfather.
But when we were teens, we all took him for granted and our lives were too busy to spend much time with him.

As my siblings and cousins got older, we realized how much grandpa meant to us.

We still talk about him at every family reunion, how much we miss him, and he's been gone many decades now.

[snowybirdie]

5. It will get busier

for them as they get older. My grandkids are now busy with marriages, children and job transfers. Had to be just us two this Christmas. Thank goodness for all those wonderful Holidays when they were young. Great memories!

[CrispyQ]

6. My grandmother worked at Woolworth's & had Thrusdays off, my day to spend with her.

Her Kraft mac-n-cheese was better than my other grandmother's & years later I found out she always used evaporated milk instead of plain milk. Grandma & Granddad's place was also where I hung out the most with my cousins.

It seems in the digital age it would be easier to stay in touch but also people's lives seem to be much busier than when I was young. Good on you for remaining flexible! I came across this on FB & I really like it.

[Marthe48]

9. I used to make homemade mac and cheese for the kids

I don't measure anything, so it was about as easy as Kraft. The kids loved it, and still talk about it.
Their Mom and Dad are doing a remarkable job. I'm thrilled they have given me so many opportunities to be around the kids. We lived with my Dad's mother and she was a wonderful person. I think of her making pancakes for 5 kids. She came up with the idea of making platter sized pancakes so she wouldn't have to make so many. lol

[c-rational]

7. What a wonderful sentiment. Happy New Year.

PS - I suggest a small time capsule for the grandkids with this DU post.

[Marthe48]

10. We made time capsules in 2016

They are in my attic. My granddaughter has asked me to get it down every year since. You have to use a step ladder to reach the port, and if I have someone willing to climb a ladder, we usually don't remember or don't have time. lol

[Major Nikon]

8. Smoke weed with them

(just kidding)

(well not really)

[Marthe48]

11. I tell them to avoid alcohol and drugs

until they are adults. I've mentioned that their bodies are going through so many changes during their teens, they don't need more stress. Maybe when they graduate from college, we'll celebrate with something And if it's hot chocolate, fine lol

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

12. You are being all of their grandparents.

That's wonderful.

I will not be having grandchildren, alas. My one son has zero interest in reproducing. Oh, well.

I only knew two of my four grandparents. My father's parents died before I could meet them. But I absolutely treasured the two I knew.