Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Marthe48

(18,993 posts)
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 06:27 PM Sep 23

Make sure your end-of-life plans are up-to-date

and someone knows what they are, who P.O.A. or Medical P.O.A. is and how to contact them

My friend might have these things in place, but she didn't tell anyone who has the information. So none of the safeguards are in play. I'm going to assume that if my friend has a medical directive or medical p.o.a. that it would be in her health records, but so far, she seems to be the only one making decisions and she hasn't helped herself. If she hasn't made plans, she is getting to the point that strangers will have to make decisions for her, that maybe loved ones could handle better.

I suggested to her sister last week that she contact the financial advisor. At least we know who they are and they might know if my friend has a lawyer or any other helpful information. Instead, she asked my friend who said she had a p.o.a. Nothing else. I suggested again today that the sister contact the financial advisor. I don't know who they are or what company, but the sister does. My friend is private, protective of her privacy, and so none of us can help her. It is hell on earth.

Since this is unfolding, there are things I will attend to and share. I will get a p.o.a. set up and do other financial things that I started, but might need completed or updated. I will get my kids on my checking account and make sure they are in on my information. I will complete a medical directive and medical power-of-attorney. And make sure the kids know who they are and how to contact.



7 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Make sure your end-of-life plans are up-to-date (Original Post) Marthe48 Sep 23 OP
Pet care is a big one for us. Arne Sep 23 #1
I'm taking my friend's cat Marthe48 Sep 23 #2
Pets are so difficult... ultralite001 Sep 23 #4
Confronting one's mortality... ultralite001 Sep 23 #3
Good idea. I have that all in place. My son takes care of the healthcare issues, my daughter the financial issues. Joinfortmill Sep 23 #5
I sure wish my friend would have trusted someone Marthe48 Sep 23 #6
You're right. It is about trust. Joinfortmill Sep 23 #7

Marthe48

(18,993 posts)
2. I'm taking my friend's cat
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 06:48 PM
Sep 23

If my friend pulls out of this, I will give her the kitty back

I think you are smart and kind to make sure your pets are cared for.

ultralite001

(1,136 posts)
4. Pets are so difficult...
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 06:59 PM
Sep 23

My housemate + I inherited her elder brother's elderly companion dog when he passed. The old lady dog was devastated at his passing, but she has slowly regained some playful doggishness. She will live a good life until her passing.

My housemate also owns an elderly horse, and its care can be time intensive. She has elaborate plans for the pets
should she pass before they do which I will do my best to honor.

ultralite001

(1,136 posts)
3. Confronting one's mortality...
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 06:51 PM
Sep 23

is difficult... I am in the process of updating my End-of-Life plan + will provide this information to my kids in the near future. I'm also doing the downsizing, clearing + cleaning... Parceling out family treasures to the kids + grandkids...

With your personal papers, don't forget to include a list of subscriptions + online sites... w/ passwords, if needed, to close the accounts. Don't forget lock codes for cellphones, laptops, tablets + computers + other devices. Your kids may need contact + other information you have stored on your devices, so make it easy to find.

I have a Pay on Death directive on my checking/savings accounts so my kids can access those funds immediately.
I need to get them copies of my POA, Advance Directive + insurance/burial plans.
I will add my grandson to my car title to he can take it when that time comes.

Thanks for the reminder... The best time to take care of the family is before it's time for the family to take care of me...

Joinfortmill

(16,382 posts)
5. Good idea. I have that all in place. My son takes care of the healthcare issues, my daughter the financial issues.
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 07:18 PM
Sep 23

I have POAs, Advance Directives, Will, Beneficiaries on investment accounts, and my daughter is on my checking account, so someone can at least pay the bills.

Marthe48

(18,993 posts)
6. I sure wish my friend would have trusted someone
Mon Sep 23, 2024, 07:33 PM
Sep 23

It would help.

If she didn't trust me, did she trust anyone? I don't have the energy to think that over right now.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Seniors»Make sure your end-of-lif...