How to give advice to your kids about raising their children:

[trof]

Last edited Tue Nov 8, 2016, 10:57 AM - Edit history (1)

You LOVE you grandkids, right?
Yes, you love your kid(s) too (more or less), but dammit, how they raise your grandkids should have the benefit of your wisdom, right?

WRONG!

Rule 1 : Giving advice to your offspring about how to raise THEIR offspring will NEVER be received with a grateful heart.
They will HATE you for interfering.

Rule 2 : See Rule 1.

[Tess49]

1. Yep. I keep my mouth shut!

[Liberal Jesus Freak]

2. We just had our first grandchild.

I can't imagine ever interfering, but then I'm the kind who still knocks on my mom's door when I visit. Boundaries are important

[elleng]

3. The advice we've given them is the way we raised them,

mistakes and all. We live with our past, and hope it was/is good.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

4. I have no grandchildren, but I clearly recall how determined I was

to raise my children differently from the way I was raised.

Not that my parents did a lot wrong, but certain things had changed. The accepted wisdom about various aspects of child rearing had changed from when I was born to when my children were born.

If I ever do have grandchildren, I hope I will be able to be happily supportive of how they are raised, no matter what is done differently with them from what I thought was right.

[lillypaddle]

5. Yeah. Don't.

Just don't. Period.

[RealityChik]

6. Share your wisdom, but...

only if asked. If the parents appear to be frustrated by a behavior, it would be appropriate to ask, "Need some help with that?" And no more. It shows respect for their parenting efforts, but signals your willingness to help when needed.

Mostly, my son might ask, "Did I do that when I was that age?" And sometimes, "then, what did YOU do?"

Each family of parents is a melding of two styles of parenting, so be confident that both you and the in-laws did the best you could as a parent, and your children will too.