This morning (Feb 6th) he ask 'When is St Patrick's Day'.

[In_The_Wind]

[Sherman A1]

1. It's the 33rd of

FeburMarchil.

Everyone knows that

[In_The_Wind]

7. I'm thinking about seeing my old shrink. He was a huge help back in '01.

The stress of doing almost everything plus watching everything he does is overwhelming. I took over the bill paying 7 months ago after I found he had been paying everything a week late. No more snail mail when I can pay by phone.

[question everything]

9. I think that paying by phone often incurs extra charge.

You can pay online for most invoices, also get them via emails.

What you will have to pay attention is locking the doors, turning the lights off, wearing warm cloths when leaving the house and, at some point, hiding the car keys.

I am sorry.

[In_The_Wind]

10. Half the time I find the doors unlocked. Two or three nights a week I turn everything off.

I always check his clothes. He tries to wear sneakers in the snow instead of boots.

It's just getting very lonely taking care of him with no one to talk to. He really does try. I don't want to hurt him. He still finds his way home but sometimes he goes sightseeing along the way. The last time I told him an ice storm was due to hit about the time he was getting off from work, please don't stop for milk, he drove an extra 10 miles to watch the dude ranch horses being brought in before the storm. Eventually I will be doing all of the driving.

Obviously, I need a bit of guidance. I think I need real life support. This is taking more of a toll on me than I realized.

Thank you for the

[question everything]

11. If you have not read this, read it now, in small measures, take time off

have a kleenex ready

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-2016/mystery-writer-louise-penny-personal-essay.html

I love Louise Penny books. And in one of them she said how she realized she modeled the kind, gentle competent police investigator after her husband,

So, yes, my heart broke when I read her testimony.

The most important part is this:

We sold our lovely home because he was having trouble walking, and stairs were not only difficult, they were a danger. I say "we," but the decision was mine.

I didn't ask him, didn't consult him, for fear he'd say no.

It was one of the things I'd promised Michael — that we would stay there. And I tried. But we just couldn't.

So we moved into a condo. All on one level. Underground parking. Elevator. It was, astonishingly, sheer bliss.

Suddenly everything that had been a struggle was easier.

And all the loneliness that came from isolation in that glorious rambling house in the countryside went away. We were in a village. With neighbors. With friends who'd drop by. With caregivers right there.

And I learned that, far from having my day, my happiness, decided by how Michael was doing, I needed to make it about how I was doing. How well I was accepting, adjusting and looking ahead. Seeing issues before they arose.

====

Both of us are OK. So far, keeping fingers crossed. But I am thinking that, perhaps, we need to make these changes when we still can.

Do ask for help. We are so used to be self sufficient but we need to know when to ask for help.

I hope you can find the courage and the ability to make changes as needed. For his sake, for your sanity.

And let us here know.

[In_The_Wind]

12. Thank you. It is my first time to read this essay.

Sigh. It fits what we starting to face now.

A few years back, after hearing about how my life was going, my general practitioner diagnosed Mr ITW as showing signs of early dementia. Mr ITW is only 66.

My former therapist won't be able to see me again due to his own health issues. However he will point me in the direction of one of the therapist working in his office. My husband has agreed to see a different therapist in the same group. Together we will plan what is best for all concerned.

Again thank you.

[Laurian]

13. I can relate. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last August.

I don't know if your situation is similar. This is a very isolating experience and I expect it will get to be "more so". I'm finding it's easy to lose all sense of myself in the day to day struggle to keep everything on track.

I try to get a few hours for lunch with a friend or shopping or some other non-caretaking activity at least once a week. It really helps restore my balance and hold resentment at bay.

One day at a time....

I wake up each morning determined to be patient and understanding, but don't always get to the end of the day feeling successful. I do know I wouldn't want to be on the other side of this situation and I try to think about how I would want to be treated if I were.

Feel free to pm me anytime. I'm no expert, just trying to maintain some quality of life and control as we move forward in uncharted waters.

[procon]

2. Whaz in yo coffee, and can I haz sum noms? nt

[In_The_Wind]

6. Whatever it is I wish I has some too.

[TexasProgresive]

3. He really never was a Manhattanite.

[In_The_Wind]

5. No, but he grew up in Long Island.

[TexasProgresive]

8. Lon-- gilanders* (sic) will never be Manhattanites no matter

how much they own or towers they build.
* I was trying to write phonetically how my sisters say Long Island.

[marybourg]

4. Why? Is he seeing people wearing

green ribbons? Maybe they're commemorating the Bowling Green Massacre.