My 91 year old mother told my sister I've been poisoning her to get her money.
She threw me out of her house this week because I took her car keys out of her hand and wouldn't give them back.
And there is no money. She pays my rent out of her social security. Her home is on a reverse mortgage. She just sold it with the understanding that she's going to San Diego to live with my sister. When the reverse mortgage is paid, plus taxes and fees, there isn't going to be much.
She's been phoning us to tell us how much she hates us.
We have a whole network of people who are happy to check in on her and help her, take her to appointments, anything but anyone who knows us is now tainted and not allowed near her.
On her PCP's advice, we called 911 the day I took the keys but the the EMS said she passed their competence questions and was in no immediate physical danger that would warrant taking her against her will. But they also didn't favor giving back the keys. Next morning the police called me from her house because she'd called them to report her stolen keys. I assume they declined to arrest me.
In the past two weeks, among other things, she has forgotten how to turn off the car lights forcing a battery recharge.
Forgotten how to lower the sound on her TV remote.
Forgotten how to retrieve stored numbers on her phone.
Forgotten how to make a call. Although that has come back.
Forgotten how to turn off her car's alarm.
She has atrial fibrillation, lymphoma, recent surgery for melanoma of the eye, and bone cancer in her hip.
And dark, dark memories.
Mother and daughters we have been three-on-a-call close on the phone more than once a day when not actually together.
Nothing we've planned prepared us for this. We don't know what to do.
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keeping her at our house. The Dr didn't want to do chemo at her age but they did do radiation to hopefully shrink it. I think that I knew it realistically it would probably help a little but not really buy her any more time. And it didn't. I don't remember exactly but I don't think she lasted much longer than a month.
Have they done any recent scans on your mom?
Oh wow it would terrify me to know that she is driving, not only for her safety but for others as well. My mom threw a fit when we tried to stop her from driving! But thank goodness when she had to go back to renew her license she didn't pass the eye exam so she knew that she couldn't drive any more . She's 87 now but this was just several yrs ago.
I suspect that your mother's brain is beginning to fail, which is one of the signs that death could be near. This article really helped me to recognize the signs: http://www.caring.com/articles/signs-of-death.
During the two weeks before my mother's death, she accused my brother of selling her house without her knowledge & putting her in a retirement home. She even thought we had fixed up her "room" to look identical to her own home, with pictures on the wall, same furniture, etc. In addition, she began talking to herself, or having conversations with people she imagined seeing.
Do you have in-home hospice care for your mother? If you don't you really need to look into getting it; you & your family need all the help you can get! It's not an easy experience for caretakers, particularly when the patient is confused & is difficult to deal with. Check this out: http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/Medicare-coverage-hospice-care-142914.htm.
I really feel for you, aquart. I know how difficult it is & how alone you & your family must feel.
A big, big to you!
It is physically & emotionally draining; don't feel guilty about the feelings you'll experience because it's common.
