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CaliforniaPeggy

(152,070 posts)
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 12:51 AM Dec 2020

OK! Time for laughter, thanks to my off-line friend who is also a senior!

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember...Don’t sing!

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started.

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow,” that many times in your first session but here we are...

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

Coronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?”

At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.”

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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OK! Time for laughter, thanks to my off-line friend who is also a senior! (Original Post) CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2020 OP
😁 blm Dec 2020 #1
ROFL! creeksneakers2 Dec 2020 #2
Thank you! Much appreciated! Karadeniz Dec 2020 #3
"I don't think the therapist is supposed to say "wow," that many times in your first session..." Kali Dec 2020 #4
Every time someone asks me 'How are you'? House of Roberts Dec 2020 #5
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out." progree Dec 2020 #6
You're the best, CaliforniaPeggy! I needed a good belly laugh tonight! BComplex Dec 2020 #7
CP, I really needed this and you were right on time. ❤ nt littlemissmartypants Dec 2020 #8
Love your post, California Peggy! nt pazzyanne Dec 2020 #9
YOU! Get out of my head! Right now! Aussie105 Dec 2020 #10
Thanks, CP FuzzyRabbit Dec 2020 #11
My favorite 2020ism is from Trae Crowder... kag Dec 2020 #12
"It's better to be seen than viewed." Marcuse Dec 2020 #13
Thanks, Peggy! lillypaddle Dec 2020 #14
That was great Jay25 Dec 2020 #15
Thanks burrowowl Dec 2020 #16
Ok, that got a chuckle... Wounded Bear Dec 2020 #17
Charlie and Ed were watching the Steelers game on tv. trof Dec 2020 #18
"You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up." JudyM Dec 2020 #19
I don't know how to operate a helicopter DeeDeeNY Dec 2020 #20

House of Roberts

(5,685 posts)
5. Every time someone asks me 'How are you'?
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 01:03 AM
Dec 2020

I respond: 'I'm vertical'.

I'm still at the age where things I do today don't hurt until tomorrow. I'd just as soon they hurt a little more as I'm doing them so I don't have to hurt so much the next day.

Not so much about age, but when cashiers ask me did I find everything I was looking for, I tend to answer, 'I wasn't ambitious enough to look for it all today. Maybe I'll come back for the rest later in the week."

Aussie105

(6,254 posts)
10. YOU! Get out of my head! Right now!
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 02:20 AM
Dec 2020

Every single one of those applies to me.

Except the 'wow' one, that's more my dentist.
She smiles every time I walk in, and thinks 'Well, that's my next mortgage payment taken care of, right there!'

kag

(4,107 posts)
12. My favorite 2020ism is from Trae Crowder...
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 02:31 AM
Dec 2020

One thing we all learned in 2020 is that you CAN use a shopping cart in a liquor store.

trof

(54,273 posts)
18. Charlie and Ed were watching the Steelers game on tv.
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 08:15 PM
Dec 2020

Their wives were out in the kitchen preparing SOME snacks.
During a series of commercials Charlie said "We went to a really great new restaurant last week."
"What's the name of it?"
"Oh hell...what's the name of that flower... the one with the thorns?:
"ROSE?"
"That's it! HEY ROSE...WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT RESTAURANT THAT WE LIKED?"

JudyM

(29,517 posts)
19. "You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up."
Thu Dec 10, 2020, 09:06 PM
Dec 2020

Stunned that I can relate to this.

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