Seniors
Related: About this forumOK! Time for laughter, thanks to my off-line friend who is also a senior!
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
Its weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I dont know how to operate a helicopter.
Chocolate is Gods way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Its probably my age that tricks people into thinking Im an adult.
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember...Dont sing!
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway and thats how the fight started.
I dont think the therapist is supposed to say wow, that many times in your first session but here we are...
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
So if a cow doesnt produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
If you cant think of a word say I forgot the English word for it. That way people will think youre bilingual instead of an idiot.
Im at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
Coronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day youre loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next youre crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you dont even like.
Im at that age where my mind still thinks Im 29, my humor suggests Im 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if Im sure Im not dead yet.
Dont be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
Im getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
I dont always go the extra mile, but when I do its because I missed my exit.
How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought Well arent we just two clowns short of a circus?
At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in: Thats a load of 2020. or What in the 2020. or abso-2020-lutely.
You dont realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
blm
(113,801 posts)creeksneakers2
(7,529 posts)Karadeniz
(23,388 posts)Kali
(55,713 posts)House of Roberts
(5,676 posts)I respond: 'I'm vertical'.
I'm still at the age where things I do today don't hurt until tomorrow. I'd just as soon they hurt a little more as I'm doing them so I don't have to hurt so much the next day.
Not so much about age, but when cashiers ask me did I find everything I was looking for, I tend to answer, 'I wasn't ambitious enough to look for it all today. Maybe I'll come back for the rest later in the week."
progree
(11,463 posts)Exactly.
BComplex
(9,049 posts)littlemissmartypants
(25,348 posts)pazzyanne
(6,599 posts)Aussie105
(6,218 posts)Every single one of those applies to me.
Except the 'wow' one, that's more my dentist.
She smiles every time I walk in, and thinks 'Well, that's my next mortgage payment taken care of, right there!'
FuzzyRabbit
(2,081 posts)One or two were funny. The rest are true.
kag
(4,106 posts)One thing we all learned in 2020 is that you CAN use a shopping cart in a liquor store.
Marcuse
(7,992 posts)lillypaddle
(9,605 posts)I needed that.
Jay25
(417 posts)Thank You.
burrowowl
(17,988 posts)Wounded Bear
(60,625 posts)trof
(54,270 posts)Their wives were out in the kitchen preparing SOME snacks.
During a series of commercials Charlie said "We went to a really great new restaurant last week."
"What's the name of it?"
"Oh hell...what's the name of that flower... the one with the thorns?:
"ROSE?"
"That's it! HEY ROSE...WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT RESTAURANT THAT WE LIKED?"
JudyM
(29,517 posts)Stunned that I can relate to this.
DeeDeeNY
(3,475 posts)So very true! Life should come with instructions!