So I go to my cardiologist. I am 79. Small aneurism that is monitored and not getting bigger.

[3Hotdogs]

She proposes a stress test with radioactive contrast. I refuse.I don't know if I will accept any invasive treatment Pacemaker or surgery.. I am treated with drugs which keep me going with some quality of life.

So why refuse the test? I figure I have four ways to go.... and "go," we all will. Accident is the least likely but probably the best. Heart attack is also likely and also quickest. I would like to go like Rockefeller - he didn't know if he was coming or going.


Then there's the prospect of years in LA-La land like my mother when she couldn't recall her own name. Or cancer, like Joyce, when she couldn't wait for it to be over.

I am half interested in giving the least support to preventing a heart attack.

My life now isn't bad but there is little joy in it. I haven't had sex in over 10 years, I am old, and fat and broke and there is no chance that any woman is going to find me hot.

I post this kind of stuff here as a way to organize my thoughts, see if there is anything I missed and kind of as a diary.

No, I am not suicidal.

[elleng]

1. LOLOLOLOL!

'he didn't know if he was coming or going!'

Be well.

[Xoan]

2. Sounds like a plan.

Peaceful travels to you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. It seems to me that you're being sensible about your choices, my dear 3Hotdogs.

As long as you can live with those choices, I say more power to you!

[relayerbob]

4. I was told I needed a ICD

"Internal cardiac defibrillator". I refused, as I don't want to be shocked back over and over.

And to make the point more clear, a friend who has had a stroke is now deteriorating and has had dozens of "episodes", where it is shocking him back, sometimes as often as half hour apart, in the hospital over the last two weeks. No, thank you. I'm with your logic completely

[3Hotdogs]

5. Interesting.... I was expecting 10 responses for why I am fucked up in the head.

Thanks, guys.

[trof]

21. You are fucked up in the head.

I don't want DU to disappoint.

Sounds to me like you are of sound mind, if not body.
Sooner or later, it ends.
I'm 80 and still trying to come to terms with that.

I don't think there's a 'hereafter'.
I think it's like a light switch.
It's 'on', and then it's 'off'.
It's hard for me to imagine 'not being'.

So...I just take it one day at a time and try to live it as comfortably as I can and entertain myself with whatever I can think up.
Mostly movies and shows on the web.
Can't read any more (macular degeneration), and I really miss that, but...AUDIO BOOKS!

Good luck and best wishes.

[3Hotdogs]

22. Thanks for the input. 7 months since the original post and I'm still knocking on.

Most interesting (to me).... for years, I have had sinus infections, go to the pill pusher and get an antibiotic called Zpac. It knocks out the infection and I go on about my days. For about 2 years, I have experienced a dizziness/fatigue. Primary, cardiologist and nephrologist have had no answers for the cause.

Anyways, last week I got another sinus infection. this time I got a different antibiotic and the dizziness/fatigue has disappeared.

Now, fatty liver has been added to my list of chronic disease. In spite of all that, my physical quality of life is good. I hike several times a week and my endurance is improving to the point that I can climb hills without running out of breath.

The stress test was brought up again and the cardiologist has accepted my refusal to take it.

--- and so it goes.

[JohnSJ]

6. Sounds like you have your stuff together. My only question is what would be the point of the stress

Test with contrast? In other words why do they want to do that?

[WheelWalker]

7. Don't fear the Reaper. I agree... no percentage in that. No one gets out alive.

That being said, all vascular events are not equal. While cardiac/coronary events are often fatal or survivable with moderate after-event disability, cerebral events are often survivable but with significant, long-term after-event disabilities. I don't think you can count on a stroke killing you in the same way you might in a coronary/aortic event. Maybe something to consider?

[marble falls]

8. I've had the 'nuclear' test. In 8 years of fighting cancer ...

... including painful infusions, two big surgeries for three different cancers, four or five tumors removed, some of the details are not for the squeemish.

The treadmill was a piece of cake. It was interesting to see I still had some great endurance for a good challenging walk.

But the nuclear test. I wondered why they about six people in the room.

They gave me the shot and almost immediately felt like I was uncomfortable all over, my vision narrowed, I couldn't fix on anything visually or by ear. Everything was fogged in. I felt like I was dying.

The other four guys were there to catch me as my knees buckled and I passed out.

If I had the choice to go thru all my well over a million dollars of cancer treatment at VA or having that nuclear test again. I'd have to think about it, but I'm inclined to do the cancer tap dance again.



For the record. I did not stay at the Holiday Inn Express (?) last night and I am certainly no one qualified to give a personal anecdote (past my heart attack when I was 38 and hardcore ironman type A jerk), I have no sort of training in heart medicine past being the recipient of amazingly good medical care, my only question in my life is that nuclear heart test.

It's a problem with heart treatment, they almost have to trigger the problem to save you from it. My dad told me that I should never agree to a treadmill test, because "what's the point of confirming someone you already know has the problem, has a problem." Treadmills, meh. I enjoy them.

Did I tell you the name of the only treatment I had put into my files as "neverfuckingagain!"?




Sorry, a big cup of coffee and five or six doobs.

[marybourg]

9. I'm your age. I do no tests for which I won't accept the treatment.

I consider myself as a palliative care only patient. My 16 year old cat, too.

[niyad]

10. I think that you are being very clear-headeed and logical about your situation. I have seen far too

much of the "at all costs" thinking (both from medical personnel and patients), and it is not pretty. You are clearly lucid, and entitled to decide how you want to spend your time.

(Full disclosure, I was a member of the Hemlock Society for many years, so my perspective is perhaps a bit biased.)

May you have peace.

[KT2000]

11. I get it

It is really our responsibility to decide these things. Younger docs may think we are depressed, in fact one told me to see a therapist, but these are things we have to make decisions about.

We all have experiences that help us make these decisions because we have seen people go through "heroic measures." Do give up on the hot sex, just go to the senior center and find a companion - everyone there is in the same boat. But remember this - we will always need your vote!

[MFM008]

12. Its tough

❤

[mitch96]

13. Did I miss it? where is the aneurysm? head? belly?neck?Leg?

I believe the nuclear stress test is to see how well your heart is doing..
m

[3Hotdogs]

15. Area between belly and leading to heart.

[mitch96]

17. Thanks!! Hope you are feeling better..nt

[Lydiarose]

20. Thoracic aneurysm

When it's connected to the stomach.

[3Hotdogs]

16. Ascending aortic aneurysm HCC

Bradycardia
Elevated coronary artery calcium score
hypertension
hypertriglyceridemia

Right bundle branch block
aortic valve insufficiency.

With all this shit, its a miracle I ain't dead already.

[localroger]

14. The treadmill ended up saving my life

Yes you do nearly have to trigger it to find the problem. My BP went from 140/90 typical to 190/120 all the time and it took a whole month for me to realize that this might be a problem above my pay grade. Booked an appointment with a cardiologist who gave me some drugs and prescribed some tests. First time in my life I ever actually used up the deductible on my health insurance. Ultrasounds all came back clean, then on the treadmill they stopped the test when my BP was 240/140. Days later the angiogram found my LAD widowmaker artery 85% blocked. Then fixed it. I would be dead today if I had not pursued medical help. No, they don't always find it but sometimes they do. Probabilities other than 0 and 1 exist, those are numbers and they are important. A lot of the COVID nay-sayers have this conceptual problem. But on the whole medical help actually does help.

[No Vested Interest]

18. I've had the radioactive stress test a number of times. No big deal.

I could no longer do the treadmill test.
(I am older than you.)
I just consider it another way of monitoring the status of heart and arteries.

My reaction would be to go for it.

Don't overthink the possible ways of leaving the earth.
There are other outcomes that are more unpleasant than those you have pondered.
A stroke with long-term disabilities is worth avoiding; really, any illness with long-term disability is pretty bad.

One never knows what joy is just around the corner.

[3Hotdogs]

19. thanks for the input.

Maybe I overthink stuff.