Which, when mixed with any instability, is really toxic. It's somewhat toxic when no instability is in play.
Men are told that they must be in complete control of their environment and those around them, particularly subordinates. Women are told they must be in complete control of themselves, the home and, by extension, their children.
Since neither is possible, most of us go around a little unhappy, guilt-ridden and/or ashamed. This makes us easy to manipulate and market to. Women can never look good enough and even if genetics were kind to us, time marches on. Children are their own people and eventually practice independence by exploring areas that 'don't represent the family well' - clothes, opinions and activities. The house - in an economy that requires 2 full-time jobs to support a couple, let alone a family, forget about Good Housekeeping standards, let alone Martha Stewart.
And for men, nobody is ever completely in control of anything. Even at work, the biggest boss (assuming male, for the sake of argument) there is at the mercy of economic forces, crime, climate, politics...So even if they don't make themselves feel better by outright domination, there's a real tendency to micromanage while knowing full well they still don't have that utmost control that defines "The Real Man". That bounces down to their subordinates, who are in even less control. And so on, and so on...
Again, most of us realize that the ideal just isn't possible. Some of us even realize that it's not desirable. But we're set up from childhood to just be a little discontented about it. There can be a range of reactions, depending on the level of unrealistic thinking. Keeping up with the neighbors to the point of financial instability (and the neighbors are doing the same thing). Various degrees of control-freakery. Women trying to manage their bodies to the point of ill health, just trying to look like they're still that young and hot.
Now add in a really unstable personality, who not only believes all this shit, but is willing to go to the wall for it. The shame is overwhelming. Not bearable. Women are more likely to off themselves or, by extension, the kids with them. Men are more likely to take out everything around them that they can reach. Suicide being the ultimate act of control (and prison is not), they may or may not include themselves.
The availability of killing machines such as semi-and automatic weaponry is going to be used more often by the males. That's got to end; it has no place in a civilized society. But it would be really good long-term if we could counter all the programming to begin with.
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