White People: I Dont Want You To Understand Me Better, I Want You To Understand Yourselves

[MrScorpio]

Ijeoma Oluo

Hi white person in my DMs, let me respond here in the hopes that I never have to again.

Almost every day I get a message like yours from a random white person — on Facebook, Twitter, or email — offering to provide me with the “white perspective” that they think that my work on race and feminism is missing. “Just to give a more well-rounded picture,” they’ll explain, or “Having been a white person my whole life, I think my insight would be useful to you,” or, “I think I can help you understand how this issue looks to white society.”

To which I say: Physician, heal thyself.
No, I do not know everything. I do not cover every angle all the time. Sometimes, I’m flat-out wrong. But here’s the thing: I do know white culture. I know white culture better than most white people know white culture. I know white culture, white history, white politics. I know it better than you because if you knew why you were really in my DMs right now, you’d be embarrassed. Why do I know white culture so well? Because I’m a black woman. And while I, and just about any person of color who has spent their lives in a white supremacist society, know enough about white culture to write a book or two on whiteness and option the bestseller movie rights, y’all know almost nothing about us and even less about yourselves.

Why? Because you don’t have to.

https://theestablishment.co/white-people-i-dont-want-you-to-understand-me-better-i-want-you-to-understand-yourselves-a6fbedd42ddf#.29jbd4lmd

[WhiteTara]

1. Thank you MrScorpio. Mostly white people

are clueless and ignorant of their privilege and act with a moral superiority that is cringe worthy if not completely shameful.

[Eliot Rosewater]

3. Elsewhere I am being confronted by white male democrats who

can find almost any reason to defend Fuckface Von Pussygrabber and bannon, and rarely support far left liberals like myself when I point out how bad they are.

I couldn't understand it at first, but now I do.

They are afraid if they go against him completely, they will lose their last grasp at white privilege.

Most of them know they live a life of privilege as do ALL white Americans compared to non white Americans, and they dont want to lose it.

[WhiteTara]

4. I haven't found the defenders of #45, but I know a lot of

racist democrats here in Arkansas. They wouldn't vote or campaign for Obama because of his skin color and I actually heard one guy say :I know they are scary, but you might want to register Mexicans to vote." I was just floored by that asshole. We had a conversation, but I know he didn't hear a word I said and felt righteous in his bigotry.

[Eliot Rosewater]

5. Referring to Latino's as scary? Wow, I know.

We have a hard block of about 35% of the public who are hardcore, pure bigot racist assholes and they are gonna rule the day.

Climate change will kill most of them eventually, of course, but in the meantime we will see lots of hate I am sure.

[brer cat]

2. The all too frequent denial

of white privilege clearly shows how little white people know, and "I'm not a racist, but..." is a glaring neon sign of ignorance. Giving a "white perspective" is a shameful insult.

K&R for a good read.

[heaven05]

6. whoa, great OP

and link...bookmarked...K&R

[pnwmom]

7. Thanks -- good article!

[aikoaiko]

8. I think question for me and white folks is how is this reflection on equality in our interest.

I've asked this question one way or another a copy of times and the answers I received from POC and white people just aren't compelling. The answers are usually some variation of "its the right thing to do" or "we'll all live better lives without racism."

It is one thing to agree, in principle, that we should live in an egalitarian society, but it is another to believe that and take some kind of action that doesn't benefit oneself/family and benefits others.

There is some truth in the saying that for white folks "equality feels like oppression." And I don't know how to get around that.

I suspect this post will be offensive on several levels and for that I'm sorry, but it is what white male liberals like me need to address, I think. I think about these issues and get nowhere.

Speakers like Tim Wise, Robin Diangelo, Allan Johnson, Peggy McIntosh, etc all have insights but don't answer the question of why it is in white people's interest to go beyond blatant/explicit racism. I find that white folks find it easy to blow off these speakers because they often appear to take smug delight in making fellow white people feel uncomfortable.

[JustAnotherGen]

10. Nothing

There is nothing in it for you.

I would caution you that - you will encounter people like me that believe if someone is in my way - I can go around them then disregard them after I get what I want.

There is nothing in it for me to care about who got stepped on. I've seen the dominant culture do it for years . . .so it must be right. What's In it for me to think differently?

Not being combative - just answering your question while standing in my truth.

[aikoaiko]

11. I think that is a fair response and I appreciate your candor.

Last edited Sun Feb 12, 2017, 02:18 PM - Edit history (1)

I try to remember my commitment to equality, but in the dog eat dog world of life where I am more consumed with bettering the life of my family it's easy to back burner equality.

Yes there are many, like you, who will be able to run over, run around, push out of the way people like me , but I suspect that systematic change will only happen with the support/acquiescence/compliance of the average white guy.

When talking to BLM, HRC said something along the lines of making and enforcing laws that promote equality and then it doesn't matter if hearts and minds change.

I think there is some truth in that. When doing the right thing means avoiding fines, it's in my interest do the right thing.

[forjusticethunders]

12. I absolutely disagree that there is "nothing in it" for white people to fight racism

We are in many ways the canary in the coalmine for what is going to be done for everyone, we're the dry run for whatever kind of oppression society is trying to foist on people.

In the 1980s it was drugs ravaging urban black communities and society not giving a shit, today it's drugs ravaging urban white communities and society not giving a shit.

Before it was COINTELPRO and mass incarceration, today it's Gitmo and indefinite detention

It was the systematic violence against black workers who tried to organize for their rights, now the same is being extended to everyone.

Conversely, it's always racism that derails or weakens movements of the people that seek to address injustice. And injustice will happen to white people and the invisible knapsack won't feed them, mend them or take care of them in their old age. They decided we weren't worthy of being taken care of by society (welfare queens and strapping young bucks) but now that the GOP is threatening their Medicare, Social Security and the ACA (which in their minds was totally different from the achievement of our BLACK president), guess what? They're the welfare queens now.

The irony is that many cling to white privilege because that's all they got in their minds, but if they let go of that privilege, in time, they'd have a lot more than what they got.

[JustAnotherGen]

13. Shhhhhh don't tell

We warned them - many didn't listen.

Not at DU - but about those coal mines? The Stream Protection Rule? They are on their own. Let Joe Manchin fight for them since he won't fight for me.

[lovemydog]

9. +1