My heart is hurting over the Orlando shooting.
I'm half Puerto Rican (mother's side of the family) and this Orlando shooting has been particularly personal for me not only as a gay man, but because almost half of the dead were Puerto Ricans. The LGBT community in Puerto Rico is very close. There are certain areas of Puerto Rico that are gay friendly, but unless you are in those areas (Condado, Santurce, Isla Verde) its still not wise to engage in any public displays of affection with your partner.
I have found myself with such a range of emotions since learning about this Sunday morning. Everything from anger to sadness to a numbness about it all. This was such an unspeakable tragedy. If anyone has been to Orlando you know how many Puerto Ricans are there. I have talked about this in other threads in relation to how it will help Hillary in the election because so many Puerto Ricans have fled from the island and relocated in Florida, particularly Orlando because they have a lot of entry level paying jobs due to the tourism industry. The thought that some of them left the island or relocated from up north for a better way of life only to be struck down by something so uniquely American (mass shootings) is just heartbreaking. Listening to the stories has been heartbreaking. I find myself watching nothing else and my fiance told me that it was too much. I can't help it.
This board doesn't seem to have much of a Latino presence given the last time a post was made on here but we are here on this board. My heart aches for all of the victims and their families and loved ones. I have donated money. Its the ultimate irony that as a gay man I can't donate blood. The FDA lifted the lifetime ban, but if you are a man who has had sex with a man in the past 12 months you can't donate. Well WTF?!! Whats the point?
I really hope that the victims' families, the survivors, and their loved ones are aware of secondary traumatic stress. Listening to the first hand account of this atrocity can trigger secondary traumatic stress so I hope there is access to mental health counselors and support groups. I hope the state and various LGBT resource locales down there recognize that for the wounded victims, the mental health recovery is going to be just as important as the medical recovery, and that these services should be recommended for the families and friends as well. There will be survivor's guilt for some of those who were there and made it out and lost friends or partners. Even for people who weren't in Orlando, but like me are probably watching too much of the coverage, secondary traumatic stress is real and people should be aware of the signs/symptoms.
Overall, I can't deal with the politics of the whole thing. Should someone who was questioned by the FBI twice be able to buy an AR-15? Probably fucking not!! Should an AR-15 be available for anyone to buy? Probably fucking not!!! But it seems like there are layers to this story given that this shooter had accounts on gay dating/hookup sites and had been to the club before. Hypermasculinity and homosexuality are a big part of this given that this man seemed to have been struggling with internalized homophobia being raised in a religion that is socially conservative and not accepting of gays. But its not just Islam. Christianity has its role in this as well and until the church stops demonizing the LGBT community, and until we stop putting forth such a hypermasculine ideology, something like this can happen again. Its bad enough that its indirectly the cause for countless suicides each year and manifests itself into LGBT being the most vulnerable to youth homelessness and the most vulnerable to being caught up in human trafficking.
The beauty of it though has been the LGBT community coming together with our straight allies. The solidarity that I have seen and been witness to as I was at a memorial yesterday was beautiful. The LGBT community has its issues just like any other, but we have really come together for this and found comfort in each other and in our strength and resilience to not let this scare us or define us, and to not let someone like Donald Trump try and use it for his own political agenda. My heart hurts but it is also full with the acts of bravery I saw from this tragedy and from the bonds that will be made from such horror. Much love to my LGBT Boricuas and to all those lost so tragically.
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