Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

BWdem4life

(2,475 posts)
Wed Jun 26, 2024, 12:40 AM Jun 2024

Duck walks into a bar....

A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint

The barman looks at him and says, 'Hang on! You're a duck.'

'I see your eyes are working,' replies the duck.

'And you can talk!' exclaims the barman.

'I see your ears are working, too,' says the duck. 'Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'

'Certainly, sorry about that,' says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. 'It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?'

'I'm working on the building site across the road,' explains the duck. 'I'm a plasterer.'

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him 'You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!'

'Sounds marvelous,' says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. 'Get him to give me a call.'

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,
'Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.'

'I'm always looking for the next job,' says the duck. 'Where is it?'

'At the circus,' says the barman.

'The circus?' repeats the duck.

'That's right,' replies the barman.

'The circus?' the duck asks again. 'That place with the big tent?'

'Yeah,' the barman replies.

'With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?' says the duck.

'Of course,' the barman replies.

'And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?' persists the duck.

'That's right!' says the barman..

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ........

'What the hell would they want with a plasterer???'

3 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Duck walks into a bar.... (Original Post) BWdem4life Jun 2024 OP
pretty great! mahina Jun 2024 #1
This reminds me sammythecat Jun 2024 #2
I miss this guy so much. What a comedic force we lost nt ramen Jun 2024 #3

mahina

(18,956 posts)
1. pretty great!
Wed Jun 26, 2024, 01:31 AM
Jun 2024

My Dad would've absolutely loved this joke. he would've stretched it out even longer though. He was one for shaggy dog stories or shaggy duck stories.

sammythecat

(3,577 posts)
2. This reminds me
Wed Jun 26, 2024, 02:36 AM
Jun 2024

of the Norm Macdonald joke about the moth and the podiatrist. Like this, it ends with a totally unexpected punchline.

Latest Discussions»Culture Forums»Humor»Duck walks into a bar....