The world's richest man is dying...

[MiHale]

The world's richest man is dying. He's made peace with that. But what bothers him is no one in the afterlife will even know it.

Here he's a self-made man who created this huge fortune from scratch, but he can't take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.

He broods over this so that his guardian angel is worried. One night the angel flies to Heaven to consult Jesus. Jesus says “Well, you know earthly wealth has no place here"

The angel replies “I know Lord, but he's been such a good man. Did a lot for charity, ran his business honestly. He's only human. He can't help having this little quirk. Isn't there something we can do to ease his mind?

Jesus thinks a moment. “”All right. Let's look him up in the Book of Life" The Book is like a film of this man's life and seeing his struggles , Jesus is moved.

He tells the guardian angel “Wake him and tell him I will allow him to bring one suitcase-only one, mind you. And he can fill it with whatever wealth he chooses. At the moment he of his death it will be brought to heaven with him.”

The angel goes down and gives the message .The guy is happy but what should he bring? Our money would mean nothing to people from another time, jewels could be faked, stocks and bonds could not be traded so they'd be so much paper. Finally it dawn's on him . Gold. Gold has been valued throughout history.

He sends out for the biggest suitcase he can find, fills it with gold bars and sets it beside his bed. Now he can die in peace and he does.

True to the promise he arrives at the Pearly Gates suitcase in hand. St.Peter greets him warmly and says “All right. Let's see what was so important to you that eternal life and bliss wasn't enough"

The man proudly opens the suitcase,stuffed with row after row of little gold bars.

St.Peter stares at it, puzzled, and says “You brought pavement?”

[underpants]

1. Funny.

[SCantiGOP]

2. Material wealth is fleeting

At one time in history, his suitcase might have been filled with salt.
A few thousand years before that, and he might have carried a suitcase of rendered animal fat - necessary to survive a prehistoric winter.

[OldBaldy1701E]

3. Yes indeed.

But, what I find interesting (and sad beyond measure) is how few times, if any, that there would be a person in that suitcase.

Something to think about.

[littlemissmartypants]

7. Or a beloved pet.

[soldierant]

13. Those of us who might think like that

would expect that the human would meet us there later and wouldn't dream of cutting that person's life short - or the pet's - which we would assume would soon enough come after us over the Rainbow Brisge.

[littlemissmartypants]

14. I have read this four times. ...

And I still don't get it. I must be more pants than smart today, soldierant. Sorry.

[70sEraVet]

15. Post removed

[soldierant]

16. As much as I might like to be accompanied by a beloved person or animal,

If I brought one or the other,
I would shorten their life.
I would deprive others of their companionship.
I would remove them from a world which might desperately need them to
accomplish something that only they can.
Some of the above almost certainly would lead to other people suffering,
possibly even dying.
And I haven't even gone into consent.
Not to mention that just the thought of cramming another person or a large
animal or even a small animal into a suitcase gives me the creeps.

Gold, or other inanimate objects, don't need to consent, and their removal from the world doesn't harm other people, unless they're stolen, or any animals, unless they're dog toys or catnip.

The more you love someone, the more invested you are in their being free to make their own choices and live their own life and be themselves. That's basically why I would never think of putting them in a suitcase, even to take them to heaven.

[Shermann]

4. Reminds me of The Twilight Zone "The Rip Van Winkle Caper"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rip_Van_Winkle_Caper

[Orrex]

5. I've seldom been so disappointed to learn that a subject line isn't literally true

And before some clever soul assures me that Musk is indeed dying, as are we all, I was hoping for a more immediate and useful death, thanks.

[FoxNewsSucks]

6. that was my first thought too.

Then "hurry up already!!!"

[paleotn]

8. Me too. Hell, we're all dying. Our telomeres are getting shorter and shorter...

I just wish that a choice few would hurry up their own dying process. I don't know, maybe they need some help with that.

[Jacson6]

9. In the book of Revelation it says the New Jerusalem's street will be paved with gold.

So to Peter it is just pavement.

[DFW]

10. Fifty plus years ago in college we used to tell a similar joke

A stock investor falls asleep in a small, unnoticed part of a cave in Central Park, and doesn’t wake up for twenty years. When he finally does wake, he sees the previous day’s newspaper, sees the date and freaks out. He runs to a pay phone and somehow tricks it into putting him through to his stockbroker across town.

The stockbroker is amazed, thinking the guy must have emigrated to Mars and forgotten to tell him. The frantic investor asks how much his IBM stock is now worth. “It’s currently trading at $200,000 a share,” says the broker. The guy freaks out. “And my General Electric?” The broker checks. Around $175,000 a share. OMG the guy realizes, I’m now worth half a billion dollars. Then the operator comes on. “Please deposit $80,000 for the next three minutes.”

[calimary]

11. Good one!

But for a minute there, I thought the punchline would somehow have a trump and a bad ending in it.

[Hassler]

12. Not fast enough