How many witches to change a lightbulb?

[BWdem4life]

[cbabe]

1. Mine: How many parents does it take to change a baby?

Don’t change the baby! I like it a baby.

[Mr.Bill]

2. How many MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one to hold the bulb while the whole world revolves around them.

[ananda]

9. Mine's Aggies: How many Aggies does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to hold the bulb, and four to turn the chair.

[JoseBalow]

17. When I heard this one

it was zero "New Yorkers"

[kimmylavin]

3. Saving the witch one!

Here's mine:

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, if they're really, really small.

[colorado_ufo]

4. Ah, English!

[TheRickles]

5. How many psychotherapists? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

[Richard D]

6. How many republiks does it take to change a lightbulb?

You have trump derangement syndrome~!

[SCantiGOP]

11. Nobody knows how many Republicans it takes to fix a light bulb

cause they have never actually fixed anything.

[Oldtimeralso]

18. Also

They are always in the dark, if they saw the light they may become woke!

[iluvtennis]

7. Very cute. n/t

[TlalocW]

8. How many freudians does it take to change a lightbulb

Two. One to actually change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis.

LADDER! I meant ladder!

[SouthernDem4ever]

10. HAHA

[notKeith]

12. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Can't be done - it's a hardware problem.

[Shermann]

23. How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. We'll fix it in software.

[Ford_Prefect]

13. How many did you want?

[panfluteman]

14. How Many Californians Does It Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

A: We don't screw in light bulbs - we screw in hot tubs!

That's my standard joke about Californians, which I learned in acupuncture school in Santa Monica way back in the eighties. Back then, we were still basking in the hot afterglow of Bo Derek and her screwing in a hot tub, I suppose.

This little joke, as good as it is, got me kicked out of a Trader Joe's in Tucson for several months, believe it or not. In my locational astrology for Tucson, I have En Mundo Pluto on the Descendant, and it is real easy for me to push people's buttons there. The lady cashier I told it to was also uptight and hyper- politically correct, it seems. She complained to the manager, and I got the boot!

[vanlassie]

15. Old timers may remember an epic "How May DUers to Screw in a Lightbulb?"

It was hilarious.

[forgotmylogin]

16. How many Republican congresspeople does it take to change a light bulb?

221: One to go on Fox and complain that all the new-fangled light bulbs are made in China and that gas lamps in the old days were JUST BETTER technology that Joe Biden wants to take away from the people. One to shut down the government because the light bulb budget is "out of control spending by the Biden administration". One to make a speech to remind us that it was during Joe Biden's administration in 2000 that the light bulb stopped working so it's his fault. One to hold up military appointees because the dead light bulb must remain in its socket for the "full term" because "Jesus". One to go on a webcast and reveal Hunter Biden broke the lightbulb by snorting coke off it while waving an illegal firearm and slapping his huge dick on it and they totally have actual proof of this happening which will be revealed in the "next few weeks." One to put light bulbs on a ban-list because drag queens and transgender people also use light bulbs and think of the children. One to discuss with Tucker Carlson on his obscure Twitter show that bright light is "woke" and people should remain in the dark. Six to vote with the Democrats so we can't even discuss a plan for replacing the light bulb. One to vote to vacate Kevin McCarthy. One to give a handjob in a public theater while singing loudly along to "The Whole Being Dead Thing." One to do squats in a garage while talking about how Cuban space-lasers actually took out the bulb. One to say we can't replace the bulb because then immigrants will have an easier time finding their way across the Rio Grande during night time. 205 to vote to go on a long weekend and deal with all this darkness later, like after the election.

[highplainsdem]

22. +1,000,000

[Deuxcents]

25. 👏

[highplainsdem]

19. How many forum users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but in the following ten-page discussion, someone will invoke a comparison to Nazis.

[highplainsdem]

20. How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but you also need an editor, proof reader, cover artist, and an agent to be there at the same time.

How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I can’t tell whether you mean "change a light bulb" or "have sex in a light bulb." Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?

How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one. But first they have to rewire the entire building.

How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?

How many reviewers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just stand back and critique while you do it.

[highplainsdem]

21. How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

[Shermann]

24. How many people does it take to change an LED bulb?

It must be a problem with your wiring, those last for "25 years".