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And again... (Original Post) Harker Nov 2020 OP
This is good! CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2020 #1

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,134 posts)
1. This is good!
Thu Nov 19, 2020, 01:21 PM
Nov 2020

I took the liberty of rearranging it a bit. See what you think. My thoughts are below.


hawk shadow

suddenly

blue jays go silent




I rearranged it so it would flow more easily. And I like the ambiguity of putting suddenly in the middle.

Your poem is full of vivid images and is strong!






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