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MineralMan

(147,606 posts)
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 12:28 PM Dec 2018

I go to many funerals. Sadly, at age 73, they are too frequent

for people I know. Many of those funerals are in churches, so they are the most frequent reason for this atheist to be in a church. I don't mind. Those funerals reflect the faith of the person who is no longer with us, and I can easily respect the faith of that person. It costs me nothing, and does not require me to share that faith.

Today, I am deliberately not watching the funeral of a former President. It's on the TV upstairs, though, and I can hear some of it. I've seen some still photos from it here on DU. While I don't decry George Herbert Walker Bush's religious beliefs, I do not know the man, so do not feel obligated to view his service. Besides, I imagine the camera is frequently focused on the current President. i have no desire, nor the required patient to watch him scowl his way through the funeral.

I will die. I hope not for some years, yet. I will not have a funeral service of any kind. My wishes are clear. I want to be cremated, and my ashes poured out from the Wabasha Street bridge here in St. Paul, and into the Mississippi river for distribution, over time wherever it flows. I hope there will be a gathering of family and friends to share stories from my life, along with some food and drink. But that's it. I will not be there.

GHWB is being honored by many today, in a religious ceremony that reflects his personal beliefs. That's fine. We're all entitled to such beliefs, if we have them. He is being dishonored, sadly, by one attendee, though. That is a shame. I can't watch.

6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I go to many funerals. Sadly, at age 73, they are too frequent (Original Post) MineralMan Dec 2018 OP
We owe Trump gratitude for showing us the importance of every single vote. nt Xipe Totec Dec 2018 #1
The camera is not showing Trump very much at all. The Velveteen Ocelot Dec 2018 #2
Just went to one myself last Sunday. Just a Weirdo Dec 2018 #3
Yes, you are right. It costs nothing to honor a man by simply sitting there, listening to his ... SWBTATTReg Dec 2018 #4
Funerals are for the living, not for the dead Major Nikon Dec 2018 #5
I find the typical funeral where a casket is present to be maudlin. MineralMan Dec 2018 #6

The Velveteen Ocelot

(120,953 posts)
2. The camera is not showing Trump very much at all.
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 12:31 PM
Dec 2018

Sometimes they show the whole "presidential" row, but Trump isn't getting special camera time at all. They are treating the occasion appropriately; that is, it's not Trump's show. It's actually quite a nice service and the music is very good.

 

Just a Weirdo

(488 posts)
3. Just went to one myself last Sunday.
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 12:34 PM
Dec 2018

Old friend of the family passed away the same day (afternoon) as President Bush.

ETA: My mother attended as well, but wanted her wishes made clear: Short and simple, just like my dad's.

That funeral was pretty elaborate, but he was a pillar of the Jewish community, and well-attended.

SWBTATTReg

(24,131 posts)
4. Yes, you are right. It costs nothing to honor a man by simply sitting there, listening to his ...
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 12:35 PM
Dec 2018

eulogy, being w/ his friends and family, etc. And for only a couple of hours or so. It cost nothing, but w/ rump, you can see the pain and effort it's costing him...what a spoiled, petulant baby.

For some of us, funerals have been the name of the game for quite a while, but they have slacked off, thank goodness, over the last 10 years or so. You'll be around for a while, charming all of us for a bit I hope.

Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
5. Funerals are for the living, not for the dead
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 01:03 PM
Dec 2018

Some people find comfort in them. I suppose it helps people to know their grief is shared. It just seems a bit morbid to have a ceremony around a lifeless body. Even if one subscribes to the belief in a metaphysical soul, most seem to believe it’s long gone shortly after death. The idea of dressing up a corpse with makeup and sewn shut eyes and lips just seems wrong. I can’t imagine why anyone would want that other than those who profit from such services.

MineralMan

(147,606 posts)
6. I find the typical funeral where a casket is present to be maudlin.
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 01:20 PM
Dec 2018

I do not attend viewings. I understand the ceremonial nature of funerals and get the concept of closure they seem to represent. They provide a finality to the passage. However, I don't find them to be comforting. I don't find them emotionally useful. When my brother died unexpectedly a couple of years ago, I attended his memorial service, and even spoke at it. That was expected of me, as the eldest sibling. It is not a role I particularly want to play, however. So I used my time to turn people's attention to their unique memories of my brother and their role in whatever immortality people have.

Unfortunately, my brief comments were followed by a lengthy, amateurish sermon by my nephew, his son. He used his time to evangelize for Jesus, despite my brother's non-belief, and then he lectured the gathering about the evils of alcohol, which was probably what destroyed my brother's liver and caused his death. It was a scolding, unsatisfactory eulogy, which upset my parents a great deal. Both of them are in their 90s, do not have any religious beliefs, and they did not wish to hear that their son's death was his own fault.

People express their grief in different ways. Many of those ways are inappropriate for public revelation. Too often, funerals become exercises in unpleasantness. That's too bad.

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