This Mother Wants to Make Sure the Myth of Hell Doesn't Traumatize Other Kids

[NeoGreen]

https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/01/13/this-mother-wants-to-make-sure-the-myth-of-hell-doesnt-traumatize-other-kids/

This Mother Wants to Make Sure the Myth of Hell Doesn’t Traumatize Other Kids
By Hemant Mehta, January 13, 2019

Patricia Lynn Reilly knows a little something about the damage religious beliefs can cause, even with the best of intentions. Catholics told her non-Catholics were going to Hell, while Protestants told her Catholics were going to Hell.

It led to some awful times when her loved ones died:

Grandma Reilly loved Jesus and took Holy Communion every day of her life. Thus I was absolutely livid when the minister assumed he knew my grandmother’s eternal destiny. I argued with him, “My grandma loves Jesus. She’s going to heaven.” He argued right back, “No she isn’t unless she says the Sinner’s Prayer.” I continued, “She receives Jesus when she takes Holy Communion. That’s the same as praying.”

Later that summer, my grandmother died and we traveled to Connecticut to attend her funeral.

As I entered the Catholic church, the minister’s certainty about my grandmother’s eternal destiny collided with the nuns’ certainty that my mother, now a Protestant, was headed to hell.

I screamed when I saw Grandma in the casket and was inconsolable throughout her funeral. It was at Grandma’s funeral that I took my first steps on the journey that led me away from religion, its gods, and its fiery hell.

She realized that the conflicting beliefs didn’t mean one was right and the other was wrong. Rather, they were both wrong. And those beliefs weren’t as set in stone as she was led to believe, like at her Christian college, when she was told dancing was a sin.

Several decades later, when I arrived at a Covenant [College] reunion, the current students were in the quad playing music and dancing. I asked one of my old profs if God had changed his mind about dancing. He chuckled, and responded, “I guess things do evolve.” And sadly, we’re left with the imprint of any number of now discarded “Thus saith the Lords” on our lives, bodies, and consciences.

Reilly isn’t religious anymore, and she’s taking part in a secular parenting panel discussion in Holland, Michigan this week. I’m glad that kind of event is taking place. The idea that you’ll be tortured for eternity is both traumatizing and untrue; for parents who genuinely believed that nonsense at one point, they would be doing their kids a huge service by helping them navigate the issue with a dose of critical thinking and methods to handle their friends of different faiths.

Worth repeating:
She realized that the conflicting beliefs didn’t mean one was right and the other was wrong. Rather, they were both wrong. And those beliefs weren’t as set in stone as she was led to believe, like at her Christian college, when she was told dancing was a sin.

[rurallib]

1. Reminds me of some of the crap I went through as a child

causing nightmares and knots in the stomach. Fortunately, like Ms. Reilly, I eventually gave up religion.

As a catholic one of the best things that ever happened to me was accidentally eating meat on a Friday. At that time eating meat on any Friday was a going to hell mortal sin.

When I realized what Had done I went into a near panic. Couldn't sleep that night except for some fretful snipers where I dreamed of the hell that awaited me.
But I woke the next morning, alive and healthy. This was my first lesson in "it's all bullshit." And the religious side of me slowly circled the drain from there.

[Cartoonist]

6. But confession

Surely you knew about that get out of hell free card. I never worried about sinning because confession cleared the slate. I think meat eating only cost a couple of Hail Marys.

[rurallib]

8. of course but there was no confession available after 6PM on a Friday night

before I went to bed where Gawd would kill me and send me to hell for eternity for eating that incredibly delicious package of Carl Buddig's beef.

So I had to wait until Saturday afternoon and hope I lived until the confessional door was opened. But when I didn't die and I felt no difference come Saturday I started to noodle out that maybe the threat wasn't exactly real .........

[Major Nikon]

9. The best thing about being Catholic. You can do whatever you want so long as you tell someone

The best thing about being Protestant is you can do whatever you want so long as you accept JC as your lord and savior.

[Act_of_Reparation]

17. I knew a kid in college who used to take his roomate's food without asking.

It wasn't wrong. Because he was saved, you see. And if you're saved, you can't do anything wrong. Pretty sweet deal.

[Major Nikon]

18. People will always find the loopholes

[Mariana]

7. My stepkid went through that, too.

Her mother and grandmother enjoyed telling her that her father and I would burn in hell because we didn't go to church. During visitation, she would have nightmares and crying fits and such, because obviously, she loved us and didn't want that to happen. My husband got custody of her when she was 10. She's 33 now, and an atheist, and she expresses profound gratitude that when she came to live with us the indoctrination - and the nightmares - ended.

[The Genealogist]

2. Interesting

One of the benefits of religion that I have heard is that accepting the religion is supposed to help end some pain, to alleviate suffering of the soul/spirit bereft of a deity. Here is the truth: as the article above suggests, it has the capacity to cause real pain that one wouldn't have without religion.

I think the article also underscores a role that religion plays and many don't wish to recognize: religion is a tool for social control. The Catholics taught this woman that non-catholics were hellbound. Protestants told her Catholics would go to hell. The message? Join us and do what we say or you will suffer for eternity. If that isn't manipulating people to control their behavior, I don't know what is.

[MineralMan]

4. Recently, there was a story posted here about a Priest who

told the family and mourners at a funeral that the dead person could not see heaven because he had taken his own life. At the funeral, in the homily that priest gave.

Welcome to religion.

[The Genealogist]

10. One will find odd things at some Christian funerals

Anyone with a scintilla of decency would not tell grieving people that their relative was to be denied bliss that others supposedly receive. How cruel and self righteous.

Of course sometimes you just get loony things at a Christian funeral. Dad's death was hard on me. I believe in no afterlife, and so was truly saying goodbye to my father. And the preacher my uncle insisted upon kept doing this odd moaning singing throughout. I was livid that someone would act so silly in front of a room full of mourners. At least dad wasn't around to see it.

[MineralMan]

12. I find myself attending more and more funerals as I get older.

I've learned to fog out the actual doings of such final celebrations, especially if they have a religious bent. Sadly, I'll probably have to oversee the funeral proceedings for my parents before long. They are non-religious people. I will ensure that there is no religious element to whatever gathering is held. Those are their wishes. There are some in later generations of the family who are quite religious, and I'm sure they will not like that.

My plan is to say simply, "This is how my parents wanted things to be. I am following their wishes. Please feel free to pray for them in your own way if that is your wish."

[The Genealogist]

13. Much respect for your approach to your situation

Im sure it will be hard on you and all concerned. What your parents want should be what happens. If they aren't religious peole, why should a Christian funeral be foisted upon them if that isn't what they want. I'm sure the religious relatives will find solace in their religion just fine..

[MineralMan]

14. It'll all work out OK, I'm sure.

[Cartoonist]

20. Do you have Mormon insurance?

I've heard they baptise people after they're dead.

[Cartoonist]

5. religion is a tool for social control

Some people see that as a good thing. They then conclude that religion is good. They then go the extra mile and say that must prove god exists.

[The Genealogist]

11. The extreme examples stand out

For instance some will have you believe that wearing buttons on your clothes is a sure trip to tell, while others will insist that a deity is sitting on a cloud noting down things like how the hair is worn. No, really it is the leaders exercising social control over the group.

[MineralMan]

15. But, religion provides the framework, and it's all done through stories.

The story tellers are still trying their best to tell their stories. And the chieftains are still trying to maintain their power.

It's gotten way, way more complicated, though.

[trotsky]

3. The overseers of the Religion group have no problem with telling people they will burn in hell.

The offensive part is when atheists say that it's not true. THEY are the true enemy and must be attacked.

Crazy shit.

[Act_of_Reparation]

16. Yeah, but atheists who open their mouths are basically just as bad as people who traumatize kids.

Or so we've been told...

[trotsky]

19. No open mouths necessary.

An ad on a city bus is horrible enough.

[Act_of_Reparation]

21. Can't have atheists thinking there's anyone else out there they can talk to.

Some people find that sort of thing upsetting.