Some people are "Let Go and Listen to God" folks.
Others are "Let's Go and Think about This" folks.
Since early adulthood, I've been in the second group. It seemed to be a natural progression that began in adolescence.
I can't imagine returning to that earlier phase in my life, really. Not at all. It was, of course, easier to follow other people's rules, some of them tens of centuries old. That was, however, unsatisfying, and left far too many questions unanswered.
That is why I'm an atheist. I don't mind unanswered questions, as long as I can search for answers through a logical process. I'm unwilling to accept the platitude that says: "Some things are beyond human understanding." We now understand many of those things and are studying the rest. I simply don't accept that there is anything that cannot be understood eventually. Perhaps not in my lifetime, but the search is more than worth it.